who isn’t you
wise readers
will know the difference
I want a narrator
more unsettling
than Nabokov created
for ‘Lolita’
I want a narrator
to cringe at
while sympathizing with
I need “milk plus”
from ‘Clockwork Orange’
while I learn the dialect
of Anthony Burgess
before I ruin Beethoven
It takes sustained energy
to hate a character
while never forgetting them
“My vanity
was the cause
of it”
I still wink at you,
Moll Flanders
a woman too clever
for shallow understanding
My “androgynous mind”
will have to be enough
for adequate love,
Virginia Woolf
I have all the worst intentions:
devious dialog
with peppered,
cutting
fashion statements
to make phantom readers
laugh and scowl
Cruella Deville
taught me everything
one late afternoon
in August
while we hunted swans
over toast points
and caviar
before I started writing
what I call
"poetry."
Whatever standards that
aspires to,
I don’t meet or greet.
My favorite Disney characters,
are the Walt Disney villains,
the cartoons whom
I will never talk to,
laugh, or banter with.
Cruella Deville:
you make me smile
and wish I was
your partner in crime.
Captain Hook:
let me be your bedfellow,
and curl your mustache
with my tongue.
Show me your
rancidness,
Scar, and let me
show you mine.
Jeremy Irons,
I am your
suckling pig,
smoked, and ready.
Ursula, you are
the queen
of my heart.
My woman of six
tentacles,
and two arms
equals eight.
Sing, and sway
your hips
and I will sacrifice
my voice to you,
any day.
I love the child in me
more than the scraps
(the rest).
Is that “as good
as it gets?”
Positively Preposterous Puckheads...STILL!!!
Boy! They sure don't drive no Coupe DeVille.
My wife dragged me here against my will,
I just, Touched Down! in Palookaville!
Her Uncle Buck, buck-teethed and busted bunions,
Always smelled just a bit like onions.
He'd cuss me out while eating Funyuns!
Yep, that Codger's one big Curmudgeon!
Aunt Tildy, wore garters with lace tassels,
Bought lavender soap by the passels!
Had dreams of Knights at White Castles,
And she tells my wife, I'M the ASSLE!
Cousin Clem, I call him "Phlegm," ain't right in the head!
He's thirty-five! and still wets the bed!
And his folks still wonder why he's not wed!
I don't care what that Doctor Phil said!
Last, but not least, is that beast they call Boo!
That cur must be older than...Twenty-Two!
And bowels!...Man, that mutt sure could poo!
As luck would have it...he spackled my shoe!
Damn! Sun's setting, they're sweating, and I'm stuck here...STILL!!!
Oh Lord, please send me that Coupe DeVille!
I might as well start writing my will!
There's "Nightmares Galore" here in Palookaville!
To Be sung to Cruella DeVille song
Marietta DeVil, cut snip
Marietta DeVil, Marietta DeVil
She wants nibble of meat, pregnant pulse vile to fill
Just an itty bitty bite to kill
Marietta, Marietta
Bile swine and dine on rinds her favorite thrill
She coming it’s Marietta DeVil
Some say, you folly Marietta will skin you
Bat leather time has you tanned a new hue
Right before you die, she muses as glaze fills both eyes
Weeping willow crepuscular era epoch
This grotesque, this villainous
This sick twisted augmented monstrosity
Will make you bleed while she feasts
Marietta, Marietta De Vil
(To be sang to the tune of Cruella De Ville)
Priscilla DeVille, Priscilla DeVille
If she doesnt marry you another one will
to date her is a costly bill
priscilla, priscilla
shes like an widow waiting for the will
look out for priscilla deville
at first you'll think priscilla is just fancy
but after shes got you to kiss and thank
you come to realize shes broken many guys
shes even cleaned you out at the bank!!!
This gold digger, this no good lying witch
thinks shes cool but shes realy just a
your life was good and calm until
priscilla, priscilla deville
I think Annie is going to shoot me.
She smiles and winks;
this is what she does best,
the little lady is deadly accurate
and pert with it.
She takes aim. "Right ear." She says.
Bang! Her Winchester
explodes my ear.
She laughs girlishly
tells me to wake up,
but the dream is way too interesting
and I stand there dripping blood
until she magically replaces it.
We go to a lake,
recline on a mattress of meadow daisies
while she relates her life story,
I already know it
and just want to make out.
Annie sings a lullaby
a crow taught her in the Ohio wilderness.
"Would you rather have a 1960's
Coup Deville Cadillac
or me?" She says suddenly.
My hesitant silence speaks volumes.
I ask: What color?
The feisty gal
kisses me with her Kathrin Hepburn lips,
then shoots my ear off again.
They abuse us in
many forms with intent
to strip us of dignity then
snatch away our lives
They return with red and
blue apologies they
watered with white lies
Cohorting us into accepting them
as the prickly thorns once
again draws blood
We sit and expect them to change
They never do
The mistreatment never ceases
No accountability taken
for any wrongdoing
Once we face the fact
America is the biggest narcissist
we'll stop waiting quietly for change
and fight back to ferociously take it
Sink our teeth in their jugulars
and repossess the power
taken from our ancestors
by their narcissistic forefathers
--LaLa DeVille
©6-6-2020
She can hear Elvis Presley in her earphones,
A gramophone is playing on the table
There's a Chelsea poster on the wall,
And the forgotten black phone rings.
He wore flared trousers and grew a mustache
His cassette player sings: "Mr. Sandman",
The floor clock in the apartment is ticking,
And the movie goes with Audrey Hepburn.
It is always tuned to its own wave,
And he's an avid Castaneda fan,
They will meet in tobacco captivity,
And there will be love in the retro style.
Their meeting is like a distortion,
As if time has gone backwards,
Love turned on the imagination
And connected the unusual again.
He rode up to her in a Deville,
She dressed like Marilyn Monroe
They spent everything they had saved,
They got married quietly in the office.
Blonde with peroxide in her pocket,
And the dude with the cigar in his hand,
Found each other in a retro fog,
And together we went on the road to the dream.
Nearing four A.M. and closing time...
He says,"one more with double lime"
Meanwhile... brown eyes in the mirror gaze
She takes off his ring...puts on her face
Where makeup flows...more is required
Those telltale signs...sure cover hard!
Damn all those years...with pain condoned
She'll scream no more..She's got her going on
She's got her going on...in her silk Deville
Love pointed south...dressed fit to kill
Her cheeks are dry...her heart's a stone...
'Hell with goodbye..she's got her going on!
He runs to beg...It's past too late
Her burning tires.....Accentuate !
His staggered stare...meets the ice cold dawn
She's outta there...Got her going on!
Mid morning knock..at the front door
He smiles, "She's coming... back for more"!
Handcuffed.... in route...to his hoosegow home
He ain't getting out.... She's got her going on!!
She's got her going on...In her silk Deville.....
Love pointed south...dressed fit to kill
Her cheeks are dry...her heart's a stone
'Hell with goodbye...She's got her going on!
Protected by copyright
All rights reserved
Ouch,
The sting is beginning to slouch.
Settling in my throbbing head,
Mama, when can I just go to bed?
Cali, go clean this,
Don't just whine, never hiss.
All's you know is well,
Yes, mad'am, Cruella Deville.
Don't close your eyes,
The sun is still risen in the skies.
Kids, the kids everywhere.
Come on now, where are the hippies with their peace to share?
"That's MINE!"
No, little child. This fighting, this is not fine.
No matter the day,
No matter the way,
It'll be just as miserable, as the rain in May.
Cruella Deville, stop the orders,
You're stacking up my mentally disorders.
The shrieks, the fighting,
The freaks, the lighting.
How so relevant?
It's under the roof, my only element.
No place to escape,
Orders and folders left over my head to drape.
What's ironic is I have to leave,
My mother says I have a room to clean.
If you're trying to push your Coupe' DeVille
from Panama City to Jacksonville
You've got to journey through Gadsden County.
So you better mind your P's and Q's
if you plan on driving through
and keep both eyes wide open for the County Mounty.
'Cause Gadsden County Jail's no place to be
it's overcrowded and dirty and it smells like pee
and every dime you have will surely be taken away.
They'll impound your car and arrest your wife
the kids will all get twenty-five to life
and your family will surely rue the day
You decided to take a Florida Vacation
and you all came back sentenced to probation
just because Gadsden County was on your way.
If you're guilty or not doesn't matter with them
their bank accounts are mighty slim
and they're gonna get your money whatever it takes.
There's a booking fee just to get you in
you gotta pay for your food which is awfully thin
so friend, avoid Gadsden County for goodness sake.
My first car was a '67 Deville
I really thought I was cool
Til everybody started laughing at me
When I drove that thing to school
Then I bought a used taxi cab
With the sign still on the side
But everybody kept waving me down
So I finally got rid of that ride
I was still in high school back in 1979
When I bought me a pick-up truck
You could see the road thru the floor board
So when it rained I was out of luck
I ended up with Volkswagon bug
And, well, I'm 6 foot 3
So, you can probably read between the lines
It was a little too small for me
I was considered a ladies man
Well, until my car got there
Then I was cursed with the shampoo bug
They remembered they had to wash their hair
I didn't have much luck with women
But the good Lord knows I tried
I guess that's the end of my story
So tell me, what was your first ride
My first car was a '67 Deville
I really thought I was cool
Til everybody started laughing at me
When I drove that thing to school
Then I bought a used taxi cab
With the sign still on the side
But everybody kept waving me down
So I finally got rid of that ride
I was still in high school back in '79
When I bought me a pick-up truck
You could see the road thru the floor board
So when it rained I was out of luck
I ended up with Volkswagon bug
And, well, I'm 6 foot 3
So, you can probably read between the lines
It was a little too small for me
I didn't have much luck with women
But the good Lord knows I tried
I guess that's the end of my story
So tell me, what was your first ride
Old tucker brown wanted to
Go fishing,
He sat and planned his day
Of activity,
He got his fishing gear, with
His rubber boots in hand,
“Oh my gosh”
It is pouring cats and dogs,
Maybe a Cadillac,
One……
At the most, do not know the
Color…
For the clouds were so very
Black..
Well,
At least he thought it was,
You could see his anticipation
As he looked out the window
The excitement aroused as
A rainbow appeared..
He cried out…
With a big yell..
While the wind cease to
Sway….
Clouds dissipated over the little
Fishing pond..
Down the hill….
Well now, it stop pouring cats
And dogs..
Therefore, he kept the Cadillac, which
Color I do not know..
“Oh My Lordy”
Indeed, it is a miracle for the big
Guy, seen fit to pour him out a
Coffee color Cadillac,
Four door Deville…
A platter of catfish and the
Trimmings
Even a shrimp or two
My God, who can ask for
Anything more,
Except for me a pearl color
Escalade…
I wish…
But the story is about old
Tucker Brown...
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