I have lost myself there
Not in the dreams but in the past somewhere
I am unknown to myself now
Don’t know why when and how
I am not the same anymore
I was not like this before
There is a feeling being full of guilt
There is nothing good that i have built
Its tough to see myself like this
Change is the only thing that i wish
But hope of change has been lost
All the limits are now crossed
I am trying to find the old version
But that version is full of conversion
I don’t know how to bring myself back
There is a lot in this version that i lack
He's a flirt with his anxieties,
Collecting tauted nerves.
She's a pen who haunts his remedies,
And with these words she serves.
He'll romanticize the painful,
And unto pleasure, gain.
Where a page was turned to tar,
With her baneful, poisoned stain.
All that glitters looks amiss,
While they write together sin.
Whereby lovers part by kiss,
Muses part by apitoxin.
Only if I were a special person, I'd have love that would heal my heart.
I'm just a loner walking through life, and I'm falling apart.
Settling down, looking at everybody live,
I'm all by myself trying to get healed.
Mental state is going astray, leaving me crazy.
Being alone with no one to talk to while my body is aching.
You want to cry, but the physical makes the tears block.
You just keep thinking to yourself, when will this stop?
Medication fluctuates with your inner thoughts.
Suicide is not the answer, but it's riding the clock.
I'm trying not to quit, but life is getting so hard,
Pain eating me up from the outside, and it's being absorbed.
I promise I won't give up, but this is some next-level stuff.
Keep me in your prayers because I'm trying to be tough.
This torment
that i’ve been going through
When will this end?
Day and night passed
But even the day feels night
The gloomy and cloudy of every season
Is the only thing that I see.
What is summer?
What is day?
When all I can see is darkness
Even in the middle of a sunny day.
Rainy, Cloudy, stormy
Is what I’m used to
Give me sunny give me summer
But even in this season all is see is dullness.
They say darkness is peaceful
Oh really? I say
I don’t think so
‘Coz for me it feels torture.
Maybe someday I would
–I can appreciate the night
I wish I may, I wish I might
But I can’t if darkness of the night is the only thing I see.
Give me a glimpse of light
And I would appreciate the night
Hand me a bit of gleam
And maybe I can learn to embrace the darkness.
Whomever you’ve detained
You’ve retained,
Whatever you’ve maintained
Equally sustained,
The feeling you repressed
You also suppressed;
The person you depressed
You haven’t at all impressed.
One is with another already in battle
When brought into play one’s mettle;
There will still be new protesting “moos” to settle,
When you’ve started grazing long unfed cattle.
Any time your lips make a plosive
You’ve acted like an explosive;
Your siblings you fend
You nutritionally defend;
Whenever you’ve started one praising
You are a morale raising
And some self doubts erasing;
Not just words phrasing.
And when you rant
Your desire near their grant
Just as when your tiredness you pant
People now know you “can’t”
Come Soar with me
When it was quiet and dark
I was drowning in despair.
My sorrows was to deep,
For me alone to bare.
I called out Your name,
Please I need you now.
I will surrender
This pain is tearing through flesh and bone
I am so alone.
You lifted me up,
And took me to the highest mountain,
Where You took my hand,
And soar with me.
High above the clouds,
Higher then my sorrows.
I soar with You,
Above all my despair.
Roebain
,
You found me again old enemy
I shall not tread your paths
Leave me for you make me ill
Like an infection spreading
You are built upon failure
Therefore you will always be
You may drag me in your abyss
And break me down and deep
But watch me as i smile
That stretches cheek to cheek
Your pathetic ways might make me weak
But you may never strip my happiness
Today is the most depress
I have ever been
I talked to my kids on the phone today
I haven't heard their sweet vocies for months
I couldn't hold back my tears
It was like they didn't even know who I was
Man I was so crushed
They are my world
But sense I've lost them
My world been one big spining top
that never stops
I would do anything to have them back
But ever time I fight I lose
I just want to step in traffic
And say forget
I try and be strong but
I don't know how much longer
I can be strong
Cause my weekness is shinning threw
A little more each day
Want or need, need or greed.
All three grow well in the credit garden.
Regulated by naught except desire,
To have just a little more,
Than the one next door.
Then greed ferments into power for the few.
Making addicts of the many,
Drinking ever deeper into debt.
Buy it now and pay later.
Those well-worn words that sound brand new.
So go ahead, and place your bet.
And later learn what the house rule really is.
Those with the very least,
Always pay the most.
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