Today is the most depress
I have ever been
I talked to my kids on the phone today
I haven't heard their sweet vocies for months
I couldn't hold back my tears
It was like they didn't even know who I was
Man I was so crushed
They are my world
But sense I've lost them
My world been one big spining top
that never stops
I would do anything to have them back
But ever time I fight I lose
I just want to step in traffic
And say forget
I try and be strong but
I don't know how much longer
I can be strong
Cause my weekness is shinning threw
A little more each day
Where does the mind draw the line
on how much pain it will accept,
How do you know how close you are;
will you be over it in just one more step?
As your mind continues intact;
and you are sure you can take no more,
Somehow it keeps on going;
though you know you are losing the war.
Maybe you've already crossed the line,
you are just so far gone you don't even know;
The world seems so mixed up to you,
so full of tragedy and woe.
Sometimes I think it would be easier,
to cross the line and let your mind be free;
Be in your own special place,
make the world anything you want it to be.
In your own perfect world;
all people would be good and kind,
always willing to help others,
Who find themselves in a bind.
There would be no more starvation in the world;
no more wars would ever be fought,
Children would play with toys instead of guns,
Love, respect and values would again matter a lot.
What a sad world we live in,
Where everyone struggles until the day they die;
Trying to acquire as many possessions as they can,
as if in the end that is what they will be judged by.
He wakes me up
With a kiss so cold
It makes me jump
His mind is bold
We play these games
No fun they are
Me he blames
It’s gone too far
The world spins
We’re gonna die
He who grins
Will not fly
The heavens above
Won’t let us in
We see a dove
And fake a sin
The world we leave,
We leave behind,
Nothing to grieve,
New life to find
Deep down
Is an eternal fight
Inside I’m fighting
For my life
I feel
In constant danger
Though I’m the one
With all the anger
Upon myself
I inflict the pain
To make the sound
And world go away
Physically I’m here
But I’m really not there
Stuck in fantasies
‘Cause reality is to hard to bear
I’m lost in thoughts
Lost in my head
All my dreams
Are gone and dead
I want people
And the world to go away
To be alone
And get rid of my pain
You could never understand
All the stuff I’ve been through
All the blood that’s dripped like a tear drop in the rain
That would burn right through you
I’ve been touched in private places
With unknown hurtful hands
Tried to cry, plead, and tell a mother
Who never understands
I deny
But I am ashamed
I’m lost and hurt
I feel sad and betrayed
I keep lying to myself
I’m confident, I’m tough
It doesn’t affect me
I’ll never give up
But if only someone
Would see the hole inside
If someone could fill it
And give me some pride
Because I’ve been
Abandon, neglected, and abused
I’m at war with myself
But afraid I will lose
The bottom I never thought to see,
It's a place in which I never thought to be.
I now lie on the rocky bottom,
Here there's no spring, only autumn.
The sky is darker and trees are dying,
The world itself seems to be crying.
Only shadows roam this world,
All suffer here, young and old.
The sun never rises in this darkness,
There is no vision, only blindness.
There are voices all around,
Yet I can hardly hear their sound.
Misery fills the air with its unpleasant aroma,
The sky is covered in ashes, the streets with lava.
It's a world only seen by those who have fallen,
A world for the forsaken.
I am a shadow of self
Pale pain and waned desire
To tired to continue this rage
The fire in my belly has gone away
This world of black
Upon my health, life and love, did attack
I never spoke the words “I surrender”
Though I should have
My health and drive steadily deplete
I myself can sense the heat
Of death being near,
I no longer admire my mirror
Because I was taught
To not bend a strangers ear
How do I get my world back?
I regret this new world of black
I wear this peel of hate
My same old skin
But we no longer relate
I’ve dropped so much weight
From so much abuse
Forget about my clothes
Even my tattoos are loose.
I fear I have little time
I've lost all that is mine
From this world I will soon resign
I'm afraid the stars just didn't align
Setup for failure by design
I was always out of line
All I loved will confine
itself into a restrictive fine
Nowhere to recline
Nothing to enshrine
Watch it continue to decline
Because it's no longer mine to define
I fear I have no time
In this world we've been forced to consign
she sits she wonders why the world keeps spining
why every day some one dies or gets rapped
wondering why she is not pretty
she sits and stares in the mirrow wishing she was pretty like everyone else
she wishes she was not one of those who have died
she wishes was stilll alive to make the wrong things better
she wishe she could change the world but she can not
because it still would be hell
I usta be beautiful ,honest and full of life
but that candle burned out real quick
and the old me is outa sight
my trust has withered away to nothing and it makes my hair fall out
My bones are sore and dull,
trying not to snap then crumble to peices and blend with the earth
My face has started to wrinkle though im still young
My mind is An Angry sceptic watching from the backround ready to pounce
My soul has been auctioned off to hell years in the past
This world has taken a loving ,kind gentle soul
and beat and molded her into
a common bitter biotch
my world crumbles to ash
and i am gone
crusted to the core of the earth
and im just living on a usta be
becuase you all have
killed the genuine me
Do you hear it?
that cracking sound,
It's just my heart breaking down.
Did you see that?
that sad broken man,
Who's lost and still not found.
Can you bear it?
this world that's down,
and quickly falling to the the ground.
Can you take it?
this constant feeling,
of joy within a rope and ceiling.
Through these years of pain and sorrow there's one thing i know,
If you take your heart out and parade it on a show,
You will be destroyed inside and feel every blow,
the pain grows on and all you can do is hang in there and watch it,
until that day the pain breaks free and takes you whole self with it,
until that day you'll be in shame and ask your self these questions.
Can you feel it?
that small thing,
that grows into a lonely ending.
Can you taste it?
that sour feeling,
that expands into a world of hate.
Do you hate it?
this constant ringing.
this voice inside wont keep quiet.
Will you stop it?
the final question,
by then it will be to late.
I protect it, i die for it, last in line and first to cry on it, this nightmare, horror swallows this eternity, last in
cage and first to suffer, for the rest of the world to party and drink, gone too far, too heavy the man i hang,
master of horror, lord of darkness, he cage me into nghtmare, droped in the sea of agony, restless, waking up
in fear, screaming, palms sweating, no name for what i created, mind dead for years, eternity of sleepless
nights, grownth for burial, numbered days, none we ask the babylon to fear, mourn the beast out the sky, oh
such a nightmare, red eyes in dark room, dead snakes in bright palace, the house desinerate forever to ashes,
burial of nightmare, scared besides my empty grave, the door is closed, am i alive or dead, my world grow
endless, roads fade to hide, themselfs made a recognition, no one will find them, i cant sleep but my eyes are
closed, cant hide but im inside, heat outside, my flesh burned with no pain, alive now to die morrow, my
world, my nightmare, both mixed to rise hell on my head, clock ticks, nightmare tocks, im awake, sweating
and wanting to hide, i guess one more night of endless nightmare.
My face is like a mask
With a smile painted on
For the whole world to see
That I am always happy
But nobody knows what's hidden
Underneath this mask of mine
For what is hidden from everyone
Are the cracks and the lines
Etched on this sad face
Jagged lines representing
Each heartache and sorrow
Look into my eyes
You will see pain
Look at my lips
You will see a quivering frown
Look at my whole face
You will see a tortured soul
Now you have seen my true self
And the mask must go back on
For the world doesn't know
This sad, lost little girl
But only the happy young woman
That's the way it must always be
While the world is dreaming
I feel like screaming
I lie awake
About to break
The world isn't fair
No one seems to care
As i try to hide
Theres nothing left to find
A veil is all i ask for
And theres nothing more
Secret tears i must cry
For in my dreams i may die
People try to see inside
But there is only one thing they will find
A heart as black as coal
And not of gold
the real you is what i want the world to finally see. that cold-hearted person who really
doesnt care. who cant help but notice my down falls and my flaws . to always voice your
opinion about how much u waste your time on me . how perfect you are to the public eye but
imperfect in our relationship.show the world that human that uses the word love to control
and feels that putting your hands on me is yourway to show that i have a place and should
be kept THERE GET REAL
The light of the world breaks in.
It brings death to my song.
I search for the shadows so my heart can cower.
I try to elude disicovering the truth, light, and life.
Still, the light always finds me as I search for dark.
Darkness is my only companion.
In the dark everything seems normal and real.
There no one can see my pain or my fear.
If only the entire world was darkness
Only then could I be free.
In the darkness no one can see
The horrors of my light.
My face is in disguise.
The shadows flash against the walls.
There, all things are free.
I do not have to face myself.
The darkness covers the pain.
Why can all the world not be cast in darkness?
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