Whereas and wherefore hence and hereafter
An idle balloon sits high in the rafters
It’s hard to decide which one is dafter
The one who just bought it or the “arts” crafter
the media just primps and prunes
while she stumbles in the ruins
rejoicing in the things she brings
while dancing on those puppet strings
he sees a future glowing bright
says he’s the one to make it right
that he will wage an endless fight
if the handcuffs aren’t too tight
The rainbow, seems it’s met its due
All they see is red and blue
Run their mouths, fuel their planes
Call each other nasty names
And we, poor saps, will cast our votes
Based on their nasty, feral quotes
In hopes whoever gets the nod
Will not bring back the firing squad
Categories:
dafter, america, political, satire,
Form: Rhyme
I once spied a bold mouse with the hat
is there anything dafter than that
at this sought after headgear they’ll chase
on their crown crown it would seem out of place
in some way it was strange at first sight
as the mouse starts to nibble and bite
it’s my hat not some cheese plate you twerp
soon your tummy will ache and then burp
dearest pet leave this item alone
dash away or I’ll openly groan
Categories:
dafter, animal, fun, funny, giggle,
Form: Rhyme
I went to the butchers to get me some fish
I asked for some haddock to bake in a dish
The butcher said, “Sir, if it’s fish that you’re after,
You’ve picked the wrong place and you couldn’t pick dafter.”
He said, “If you want fish you want the fishmonger,
I know cos I bought some fish when I was younger.”
To find the fishmonger did not take too long
In order to find it I followed the pong
I didn’t want fish bones to stick in my teeth
So went in and asked for a nice piece of beef
The man was abrupt, he was no politician
He said, “I’m no butcher, Sir… I’m an optician.”
Categories:
dafter, nonsense,
Form: Rhyme
You have the power to crush me
Did you think idle threats would push me
To the brink
If defeat is what you are after
To underestimate couldn't be dafter
Stop to think
You crossed the border
Broke the code
Your action empty, loveless showed
This territory is sacred ground
The heritage of generations found
Solidarity and loyalty owed
And now we stand in unison
You fight each woman, daughter, son
Cowardly at best..
Is this test of selfish resolve.
We protect the ones we love
Against the bullying shove
Our goal is peace
What cost until hostility will cease
Depends, depends on you and me
Save tears and fears
For years and years
Desist with World War III
World War 3 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Robert James Liguori
*WINNER* Placed 4th
(in solidarity with all those who defend their right for freedom against oppression)
Categories:
dafter, war,
Form: Rhyme
Kirk's reply was tacit:
Still his points 'Explicit':
"Don't try the opposite
Once more a plebiscite..."
A plebiscite most fit:
Plebiscite that flaws bit;
On paper clearly writ
Flashing frank views not wit...
Kirk comes out quite lucid:
"Misgovernment Acid !"
Explode did guys laughter!
But what happened later?
They proved the ones dafter...
"Misgovernment rafter"
Categories:
dafter, care, devotion, love, people,
Form: Rhyme
The clothes pile has started to form itself into a grotesque man
The bedroom door will no longer open due to the heavy garbage can
The stench of the dirty dishes is annoying to say the least.
To get it all out of my mind I take a giant bite of pie – peach.
Don’t you think you should? My house mate starts to say.
But she watches my eyes furrow and narrow and scurries away.
If I wanted to clean and cook and scour and wash dishes and such
I would not have been born on this planet; for it is too much.
Like Peter Pan I never wanted to totally grow up
To pay bills, and rent, and take care of my cat and my pup.
I wanted to forever go to school and have fun and make laughter
This growing up thing is for others, people much dafter.
I know that eventually I will have to get a job and go to work every day.
But since the pandemic has arrived, it’s a great time to cavort and play.
Virus has not done anything but give me a fine relaxing slovenly break.
I’ll make a cobbler next, for it’s time to eat more sugar for Pete’s sake.
Categories:
dafter, self,
Form: Rhyme
What if God isn't a he or a she but a he she
eating quiche in a teepee with a toupee
in the company of a grumpy hippy
seeking to unleash a fart storm our way
solar gusts of gigantic proportions
across intergalactic star systems
unholy guffing crushing our sun
with radiation to our extinction
anything is possible it's all unknown
take a guess at the probable fart tone
all we ever do is disbelieve and joke
open up minds after cannabis toke
some believe he's a vengeful bastard
out to punish us thereafter
in a world seeing many disaster
these people couldn't be dafter
so maybe God really is a he she
toupee wearing and living in a teepee
perving on a world of birds and bees
with an irritable bowel about to let free
Categories:
dafter, funny, god, humorous, tree,
Form: Rhyme
Cackle, Chortle, Chuckle with glee,
Crack-up with crowing, and giggle "tee hee",
Hilarity, merriment, rejoice with a roar,
Shrieking, sniggering, Cheering, Guffaw
"Hi-di-Hi", har-de-har,
Snorting a lot,
Don't follow Frankie Howard,
Don't "titter ye not"
Absurd and amusing,
Comic and droll
Sarcasm and Irony
Like an internet troll
Facetious and farcical,
Fantastic and Funny
Mirthful and Mocking
Are all on the money
So remember these synonyms,
When you need to be dafter
Cos the world's so much nicer
When you fill it with...
... laughter.
(c) The Didds 2018
Categories:
dafter, fun,
Form: Free verse
She’s always very clean and neat
With chocolate, sweets and other treats
When mummy says no, nanny wins
Like when we want to do baking
Peek-a-boo to nursery rhymes
Mischief making, pull faces times
Lots of games and lots of laughter
Silly times like when nan’s dafter
At the park on swings and slides
When it rains build tents and hide
We like to colour and do dot-to-dots
Remember banging spoons on pots
Nan could really not be sweeter
Playing games she let me beat her
She’d pick me up and hold me high
And if I fell, she’d wipe my eye
Finger prints on walls and glass
She’d potty train, help wipe our * (bottom)
It’s did not matter, we’ve no doubt
Making memories it’s about
Categories:
dafter, appreciation, children, family, children,
Form: Rhyme
Detective Fred he said:
Tell me Darren, tell me son, you understand the deed you done, you killed a man and fled the scene like a snoop **** dog with it’s tail between.
Dozy Darren, he replied:
I did know the man was slain, if I could go back, in time again, I would not drove, like I had done, I was only having fun.
Detective Fred he said:
If you call slain, having fun, you better think again my son, if you call fun, creating mess, your dafter than I thought, I guess.
Dozy Darren, he replied:
I did not mean to kill that man, please tell his mum, I am sorry, yes I am, I ran away, cos my head was bashed and my old man’s car I had smashed
Detective Fred he said:
Darren, Darren, what do we do, what do we do with kids like you, you kill and maim and run away, home to bed and another day. The mess that you did leave behind, will stay with a family a long long time and in a week you will be on the street, high fiving the old mates you will meet.
Dozy Darren, he replied:
Sorry, I won’t do it again.
Categories:
dafter, analogy,
Form: Rhyme
Some people are concerned
They wonder and they fear
Just how and when they'll die
The thought, it seems so *****
Not like we have a choice
And so I'll tell you why...
but it's only my own voice...
I've been dead before,
I'll be dead again,
The thought of fearing it
To me just seems inane
Whether it's nothingness after
Or to a heavenly place we go
The thought to me seems dafter
But I don't really claim to know
So I worry not about things to be
Of which I have no control
Just accept what's been doled to me
Peace is my only goal
So I thank Alfred E. Newman
On each cover of Mad magazine
He gave me this great title
Such wisdom is rarely seen...
So sleep in peace my friends out there
It's all in God's great hand
Life and death two sides of the same coin
I hope you understand
And now I've said my piece
So off to bed I go
Is sleep a bit like death?
That I'd like to know
Cause sleep is my favorite time
No pain, no worries, no cares..
Someday we'll all find out
At that time when God shares
What some consider the ultimate mystery
The big answer that they seek
Go to sleep this evening
May God give you a peek!
Categories:
dafter, death, faith, hope, mystery,
Form: Dramatic Monologue