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Surf and Turf

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Contest: 3Min write

Sponsor: Matt Caliri

4 September 2024

Genuinely made up - as I one-finger typed - in three minutes

My keypad was nigh on smoking. I allowed myself the luxury

Of correcting typos after the allotted three minutes...

So arrest me ;-)

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I went to the butchers to get me some fish I asked for some haddock to bake in a dish The butcher said, “Sir, if it’s fish that you’re after, You’ve picked the wrong place and you couldn’t pick dafter.” He said, “If you want fish you want the fishmonger, I know cos I bought some fish when I was younger.” To find the fishmonger did not take too long In order to find it I followed the pong I didn’t want fish bones to stick in my teeth So went in and asked for a nice piece of beef The man was abrupt, he was no politician He said, “I’m no butcher, Sir… I’m an optician.”

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Matt Caliri

Date: 12/14/2024 9:14:00 PM

Congrats on 7th out of 45 in my contest! Sorry it took so long to judge. Long story short my laptop would not and still does not accept the poetrysoup login screen. I'm doing this all on my phone just to get it judged. Regardless the ease of comedy and word play is super skill level. Incredible job!

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 9/5/2024 12:51:00 PM

What a fun write you have here. Thought we could not read it with typos??? OK, we can arrest you. Run fast so you can write some more. Hahaha!!! Great Job... Have a blessed/fun day writing away........

Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 9/5/2024 5:26:00 AM

Dear Terry, What a humorous read this morning and I so enjoyed every verse. I needed my glasses to read your poem this morning. - Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel

Tom Cunningham

Date: 9/5/2024 12:27:00 AM

The moral of the story, always wear your specs when out and about lol. Tom

Gershon Wolf

Date: 9/4/2024 6:59:00 PM

Follow that pong! Never wrong !

David Kavanagh

Date: 9/4/2024 4:16:00 PM

Well you certainly found what you were looking for eventually Terry, this one could make a great fun idea for a Spec-Savers add, the bookies shop beside me has a fishmongers next door, the stink seeps in during the summer, I wind up the assistants asking them all sorts of awkward questions lol! Cheers David

David Kavanagh
Date: 9/4/2024 9:49:00 PM

I totally understand lol!

Terry Flood
Date: 9/4/2024 4:36:00 PM

I suppose, if Specsavers were to make me an offer… I might give it some consideration… but, as an international poet, I would have to consider my upcoming commitments… before I bit their hand off!.

Lin Lane

Date: 9/4/2024 3:26:00 PM

One finger typing and in rhyme. I bow to your brain for its expediency, Terry. I need to find a set of handcuffs.

Lin Lane
Date: 9/4/2024 3:57:00 PM

It’s all in the details, Deputy.

Terry Flood
Date: 9/4/2024 3:48:00 PM

And so I did. Glad you were paying attention.

Lin Lane
Date: 9/4/2024 3:44:00 PM

You said, “So arrest me.” ;-)

Terry Flood
Date: 9/4/2024 3:38:00 PM

Wasn’t going to even attempt this contest, Lin, but the first line occurred to me and I took the approach I use to try to break out of a block… write quick, write sh!t, write SOMETHING!! Kinda liked the result, although the typos I mentioned made the whole poem look like Ancient Greek… Erm… I don’t like to ask… but what’s with the handcuffs? ;-)