Best Dafter Poems

A din ensued
my imaginary brood
with a good dose of misapprehension
hauled out their toys
and with a deafening noise
held band practice to demand my attention


My head resounded
I was astounded
as my voices insisted space be freed
then took up position
for a spit competition
unless their demand I would heed

"Spit all...

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What if God isn't a he or a she but a he she
eating quiche in a teepee with a toupee 
in the company of a grumpy hippy
seeking to unleash a fart storm our way

solar gusts of gigantic proportions
across intergalactic star systems
unholy guffing crushing our sun
with...

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The clothes pile has started to form itself into a grotesque man
The bedroom door will no longer open due to the heavy garbage can
The stench of the dirty dishes is annoying to say the least.
To get it all out of my mind I take a...

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You are the one I have long waited for
The one who filled with love this empty heart
Who gave me meaning and courage once more
To follow life’s hazardous unmarked chart
And salvage dreams dashed on a rocky shore.
For this alone, my love, sets you apart
So high above...

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She’s always very clean and neat
With chocolate, sweets and other treats
When mummy says no, nanny wins
Like when we want to do baking
Peek-a-boo to nursery rhymes
Mischief making, pull faces times
Lots of games and lots of laughter
Silly times like when nan’s dafter
At the park on swings and...

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Some people are concerned
They wonder and they fear
Just how and when they'll die
The thought, it seems so *****
Not like we have a choice
And so I'll tell you why...
but it's only my own voice...

I've been dead before,
I'll be dead again,
The thought of fearing it
To me just...

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Detective Fred he said:
Tell me Darren, tell me son, you understand the deed you done, you killed a man and fled the scene like a snoop **** dog with it’s tail between.

Dozy Darren, he replied:
I did know the man was slain, if I could go...

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Cackle, Chortle, Chuckle with glee,
Crack-up with crowing, and giggle "tee hee",
Hilarity, merriment, rejoice with a roar,
Shrieking, sniggering, Cheering, Guffaw

"Hi-di-Hi", har-de-har,
Snorting a lot, 
Don't follow Frankie Howard,
Don't "titter ye not"

Absurd and amusing,
Comic and droll
Sarcasm and Irony
Like an internet troll

Facetious and farcical,
Fantastic and Funny
Mirthful and Mocking
Are all...

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I went to the butchers to get me some fish
I asked for some haddock to bake in a dish
The butcher said, “Sir, if it’s fish that you’re after,
You’ve picked the wrong place and you couldn’t pick dafter.”

He said, “If you want fish you want the...

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You are now about to witness my lack of street knowledge
Straight outta lockdown,
lazy brother named THE DUDE
Formed a gang called diggers With Altitudes
Work is called off, I got a paid off
Strains getting quicker, and bodies are hauled off
You too, boy, nay luck like me
The police...

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A Willowy wisp of nights dark scent
My Rose colored glasses have loss their tint
Love came and I wish I could say has went
But loves not like that no matter it's intent

It came and brought me smiles and laughter
Not so much now that it's after
Wisdom I...

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I once spied a bold mouse with the hat 
is there anything dafter than that
at this sought after headgear they’ll chase
on their crown crown it would seem out of place
in some way it was strange at first sight 
as the mouse starts to nibble and...

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Whereas and wherefore hence and hereafter
An idle balloon sits high in the rafters
It’s hard to decide which one is dafter
The one who just bought it or the “arts” crafter

the media just primps and prunes
while she stumbles in the ruins
rejoicing in the things she brings
while dancing...

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Kirk's reply was tacit:
Still his points 'Explicit':
"Don't try the opposite 
Once more a plebiscite..."
A plebiscite most fit:
Plebiscite that flaws bit;
On paper clearly writ
Flashing frank views not wit...

Kirk comes out quite lucid:
"Misgovernment Acid !"
Explode did guys laughter!
But what happened later?
They proved the ones dafter...

"Misgovernment rafter"...

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Bored of deplored 

Hordes of frauds

On abhorred company boards

Who applaud flawed

Seats stored…for cheats

Apply or buy on the fly

Enjoy till they die


Getting podgy..betting on dodgy bills 

Thrills of blue pills

Moolah the ruler

Swills..fills the tills



Cash revenues poured

Toured here & 

Did maraud abroad

All avenues explored

Scored a stash

Claps &...

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