black daddy issues
true love is not abusive
forgive not forget
I cannot hibernate without my friend, Daddy.
Baby bear was smitten with his snowman, Maddy
Maddy never said a word, was frozen in place
Daddy saw he could not refuse with any grace
He relented and Baby Bear brought Maddy to the cave
We are going to hibernate until winter, he said, grave
Maddy did not react, did not say one little thing
But only a hat and scarf remained in the spring
Back in ’52 if you did not have two children you could be sent to Korea.
My daddy was expecting a baby with his wife in July.
The recruiting officer stopped him three times in May.
Dick, you have to fill out that last paper before May 31st.
Daddy was sure he was going to be drafted.
He would only have one child when the next troupe got sent to war.
Two would have saved him, but he was only expecting me.
A voice in his head said “do not sign that paper yet” so he didn’t.
On May 31st Daddy was in a pool hall and someone yelled this
“Hey, Stone, you have twin girls!”
Dad thought this was a funny joke.
Someone else came in and yelled the same thing.
He said “I already heard that one.”
Then our mother’s brothers came in to get him.
Daddy did not get the boy he got two identical twin girls that day.
He went to the recruiting center and the guy said “I know, I heard."
He tore up the papers; we saved him from being sent to the Korea War.
.
into
that trough
horse
she goez
and keep
i'll
thuh stallion
daddio
tap
love rest,love is at peace,age of 93
age of 93 is a quote of love and peace
age is just a number but quote is love and peace
knowing a quote,knowing a number,knowing love and peace
knowing peace,knowing love,knowing at the age of 93
quote of the unknown,quote of the known
the unknown is the known of love and peace
daddy I’ve known you for 55 years
through the good and bad times you gave me wisdom and experience
wisdom and experience I will know the rest of my life
a skill set,a skill wisdom,a skill experience
you gave me the knowledge of wisdom
you gave me the skill to set off and settle in life
the sunset settle off in a skill of life
skill and peace settle you off in the next life
the next life you will carry the throne like a king
the next life you will live in a kingdom of kings and queens
queen of mountain,king of mountain shall give you the throne,throne of god
mountain of queen,mountain of king shall give you the love you desire
full of mountain,full of queens,full of kings
full of mountain shall give you the desire to live like a king and queen
You're not my little sister or a cousin, but someone made by me
If I wasn't one before, a man is what you made me be
Yes this is true, your mother did play her part
Three females have a share in my life, with you closest to my heart
Strength usually came from my mother, now it's from you
Making every excruciating work day worth going through
There's always pain when I see tears in your eyes
When it comes to giving discipline, my emotions are disguised
You're my compliment, my angel and my mini me
I would always be your biggest fan, seeing what others can't see
I would always and forever be that first man in your life
The one who knows you well and also how to make it right
I want you to stand up on your own and be an independent queen
Making a success out of life by doing the right thing
You're still a child right now and learning to navigate the world
The years most fathers cherish are the years your a daddies girl.
Mommy! Daddy! MOMMY! DADDY!
The wailing was turning into desperate keening
the parents did rock paper scissors to see who had to go
Jake is four, and he has an intense imagination
No more horror shows, Mommy said
Daddy was thrilled he covered her rock with his paper
They both knew going in there meant another story
glass of water, maybe a cookie
Jake’s eyes were wild.
There is a creepster under the bed! He wailed.
His mother pretended to look.
Assured him there was nothing there.
Told him not to call out again.
And returned to her bed.
The last thing they heard was one piercing scream.
Jake was never seen or heard from again.
Wanting to know I’m safe.
Wanting to know I’m good.
Needing security.
Needing praise.
Needing courage.
Wanting to be brave.
An hour and thirty minutes
the daylight has been gone.
But in my state of mind
it has been too long.
I need you here
to scare away the fears,
to hide away the tears.
Six years old.
Innocence lost.
Only my sanity
is the cost.
These nightmares won’t
set me free.
I only see
what I’ll never be.
He ruined me.
He ruined me.
He’s installed panic
in my head.
Makes me wish
I were dead.
His deviance
controls me.
Even the truth
won’t set me free.
His power over me
enrages my heart.
He’s taken my soul
and torn it apart.
He took my values
and made me ill.
And yet they expect me
to love him still.
I’ll never understand
this cold, cruel world.
How can a daddy
harm his little girl?
Someday,
I'm going out west,
Dad would often say,
Where the eagles build their nests.
Daddy was born in the south.
I never heard how far he went north,
Nor if he ever ventured to the east.
But I know that he never moved west.
Perhaps it was just a dream,
Like coffee mixed with cream;
Like a high-powered muse,
Never intended to be used.
If I could speak to daddy now,
I would be very specific.
I would share with him how,
I moved all the way to the pacific.
.
'round thuh bend came two fox'iz
one howl'n with stick'd baublez
plead'n for mine sympathy
hern berth'd spill'n mine muzez
Orange fat man said out loud
He doesn’t like men and how
Proud he was
Chest puffed up
As if he stars in explicit files
Forgive me
Daddy
I'm not a snob
I'm just a kid who
Gets comfussed
I hear what they say
It cuts like glass
They laugh
Then walk away so fast
They tell me I'm nothing
They say I'm odd
Like I'm not human at all
Dad
It hurts so much
I come home quiet
Afraid that you see me fall
Forgive me
Daddy
For disappointing you
For all the times I swore I'd
Change
Then did the same old
Things I do
Forgive me
Daddy
I know you see straight through
All of my broken little promises
I still wanna be god for you
Dad
I'm not a statue
I'm not a statue
I'm someone shaking in
My skin
Daddy
I have to change
How I talk
How I turn away
I wanna look you in the eyes
And mean it when I say
Forgive me
Daddy
One day you'll see
The promise I keep
Will be the one to be better
For you
And for me
They pull at my heart
Then call it weak
I keep the tremble tucked within
Sometimes with my friends
I Iaugh along
Pretend that I don't feel a thing
I know that you're not happy
When I slam the door
When I shut you out
I know I make it harder
To understand what I'm
Crying about
her gentleman friend is not gentleman-like
a fraudulent flimflam man, a shyster named Ike
I would love to tell the cheater to take a hike
but then she would marry him said her Daddy Mike
meat and potatoes were my Daddy’s meals
mac and cheese are for other heels
he slathered ketchup on every piece of meat
liking a dessert, anything insanely sweet
pizza? no. tacos? absolutely not
and he did not like cake that was store-bought
Daddy was picky about what he’d eat
every meal needed meat and something sweet
We are all the sins of our parents
We are all mistakes from whatever agent
Tell me why my mind is alive
Tell me why the death is in a mile
And why it takes so much time
It's disappointing.
It's a mess
We all die on the hill of our sins
But really what would our death save us from
And what would our sins damn us for
And what will our love bring forth?
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