Through life’s clenched jaw,
we struggle to survive.
We see our loved ones stumble;
expectations crumble.
Anxiety keeps grinding
and grinding
us down.
Money’s tight;
life’s jaw clenches tighter.
Health declines.
The jaws of death loom nearer.
Panic-stricken people
flee the only homes they’ve ever known -
refugees escaping war
or the clench and the stench
of oppression.
Through it all,
many make it through,
but oh the woe of those
living in the unrelenting grasp
of poverty
or of being chewed to bits
by abuse and fear.
Who gets to glide through a life
where slackened
is the jaw of life?
And who decides
if a clenched jaw will constantly
be others’ plight?
Only God alone can know;
it’s not ours to reason why.
Family and friends, good attitude,
hopefully faith and prayer
will help to make life’s clenched jaw
easier to pass through.
I firmly believe that in the end,
death’s relief for many
will be a welcomed friend.
When life’s jaw unclenches,
we can be released.
Then will understanding
flood our minds
and the light of God’s pure love
be new life’s sweet caress.
The multitudinous clenches of despair joust intermittently.
Make it hurt.
No witnesses. No empathy. Nor apathy. My stagnation.
The question of purposefulness has the inconsequential ringing of tinnitus banging in my noggin.
Who to bear witness?
Beyond “you,” I suppose...
Thou nameless, faceless, formless and ing omnipresent
God? Given my luck...
Crawling and flowing in my body - more so than my own blood - though never foreign. A homogenous mixture “we” are.
Invasive “you” are not.
Permeating and crushing my existence.
Not of me but never foreign, never.
“You” to bear witness.
My brain rackles with any and all manifestations of grief. How predictable.
Where are “you?”
Inside and outside and inside out and outside out - never foreign.
Take my life then.
Be not afraid. Take my life.
Make this invitation to a new aspiration of my decimation my proclamation.
The after-thought of symbolization, of matter, of merit-
Take my life
I am tired - tired - tired of this rigamaroo
Take my life. Take my breath.
“YOU!”
GIVE. IT. MEANING.
they sit him down like a tired old man
in that throne of leather and iron—
old sparky, they called it,
like it was some friendly dog.
they strap the wrists, ankles, chest,
tight enough to stop god himself—
one last insult to liberty.
the sponge is wet, because dry
means fire, and lawsuits.
the mask goes on—black as every sin,
but it’s the switch they love.
fingers twitch, a nod from a judge
who’s eaten too much for lunch.
then—crack.
a snap of light no eye can see.
his body lifts like a puppet on strings
jerks, clenches, convulses,
the legs slam the frame,
his tongue thick in his mouth.
smoke rises from scalp and thigh—
a scent like roast beef
and shame.
they wait.
they juice him again.
and again,
until he stops pretending to be alive,
smoke wafts from every orfice in her body.
They say, "You carry too much."
But they don't see the weight of the world pressed into my bones.
Anxiety clenches its fists in my stomach,
whispers like static in my ears,
telling me every wrong step,
every almost-mistake,
every crack in the mirror is my fault.
Depression drapes itself over my shoulders,
a coat too heavy to take off,
sewn from every night I stayed silent,
every morning I wished I could disappear.
And I laugh.
Because how do I explain that the heaviest thing I carry
is the expectation to be light?
Somber clouds form - rain spits.
His mother clenches freshly laid soil,
screaming his name. Three crows glare.
His daughters, shivering, hold each other,
their gaunt eyes, still sore from shock.
Now there are no words, there is no explanation.
His voice is no more. It's too late for regret.
His sister wonders - how can it all be real.
His brother, puzzled, ponders if he could have done more.
He cannot protect him now - nothing will bring him back.
His nephews and neices, hold hands, humming his song,
remembering their 'smiley' uncle.
A group of friends still 'wondering why,'
take shelter as rain begins to plunge..
Simultaneously, they all turn their heads,
as a woman in a black veil, places a thorn less rose
upon his resting place and whispers
" Goodbye my love, hope, you are no longer in pain."
Clouds slowly clear - sun glows.
A colourful arch appears.
A fear unseen yet controlling and torturous as it is. Irrationally contemplating the next reaction. Every written letter a sign of courage, every word spoken a sign of strength progressing. Every breath slowly returning to a consistent pace as the world comes zooming into focus. You're falling. The curtains pulled back, that old worn smile returns only to vanish in a mere instant. The array of sadness sweeps in a clutter of dispair. Overwhelmed by all that surrounds you. A growing antagonist in a story as the details swarm. The tale of the whole and the broken. The partial world's split in two between reality and emotion. The sudden rage rises to the surface as your body clenches writhing in the catastrophe of mental agony. A heavy heart and a trail of scars. Every statement pondered, every outcome thought of always assuming the worst of situations. Blank stares, monotoned answers. A maze called in sick, can't find it's way through this crisis. All self motivation simply vanished. Regrets stir the fury evolving. So much pressure. A daily struggle for so many. Anxiety. Depression.
Lord, see how is contended the high places
And rightly so for it attracts the shrewd galant aces
But pretty much a duel between good and evil
Each rising to the challenge of the rival
Not to bolster statesmanship or healthy sportsmanship
But the onslaughts and assaults of values and worship
And the day is ruled by the side in occupance
Tipping the land's blessings by their stance
But the nations of the world are now of our Lord
And things will veer from the imposing man's accord
And a very subtle hand of the Divine
That begins by signaling a sign
Before it slowly closes in in a creep
And clenches into a locking grip
One that halts, propels and baffles history
All to a Holy God in His Glory
you used to captivate me
by all that you were
if you were all i could see
it wouldn’t matter
because i would never bore
of your vibrant presence
instead my heart craves more
of your sweet attendance
i lay awake in the dead of night
sleepless as my heart clenches
because i desire my radiant light
my beloved to me you are precious
you don’t have to look a certain way
you’re as bitter sweet as nectar
my lips softly say
they know as they are your kiss collector
and yet we weren’t written in stone
for one day our light faded
ivy soon had overgrown
and soon had invaded
but still sometimes in the sun’s absence
i feel my heart speed again
thinking of our past passions
and soon a seed forms a stem
‘No hunger, no starvation’,
His voice booms
The lusty crowd
Wearing emaciated faces
Claps, whistles and cheers
She musters
A disinterested smile
Eyes brimming with tears
Their roles
Everyone knew
She too
Ferried in buses rickety
Of course for free
And then the promised money
So tempting, you see
But, she’s been away now
Six hours
Doctor had given her twelve
She gets nervous
Another two hours
Homeward journey
In the bus
But first Netaji must end
His speech,
Her misery
A deafening roar
Boundless glee
Time for rewards
Near stampede
Outstretched hands
She with others wrenches
Jostling, pushing and pulling
Finally the promised 500 rupee note
She clenches
Makes haste
No time to waste
The money thus given
Can fetch her some morsels
She cannot afford
The last of her brood
To also succumb to want of food.
Evaluating the beauty of a carnation,
Praising the magnificent lion;
The heavens smile at the heights of the mountain,
Appreciation even for the wild dandelion.
As the birds fly in flocks,
The sun and the moon guards the sky;
The stars at night wink at us,
While the depths of the sea mystify.
Nature commands respect,
As the fire and water don’t mix;
The water clenches our thirst,
Warmth and cooking the fires fix!
Hail, ice, snow, and sleet,
Stormy winds freshen the air;
Mountains and hills dominate,
Fertile plants and trees fruit they share.
Dogs barks for attention,
The cats purr when they’re contented;
Women easily scorned,
Men rapes for they’re demented.
The tunnel is long and musty with water dripping from the wall
Into murky puddles where pavement is slippery and easy to fall
It is cold and empty with a lingering stench in thick, heavy, air
The dark figure follows me, bearing down, with a penetrating stare
I move with persistent strength and courage toward the light
The figure is fear that can catch me, consume my being with fright
So I have an inner shield to ward it off, refusing to let it be near
It is scary, relentless, ugly, fast moving, demonizing fear
It serves no purpose, only a warning to destroy what it clenches
To keep me lost in the depth of its known hidden trenches
Waiting to paralyze those who give in, as it preys on weakness it sees
The light shines ahead, as I focus only on reaching it, where it frees
Where I have faith as I exit, I will be out of one of the darkest places
Knowing, I overcame the luring force, in a tunnel with scary faces
Heidi Sands
9/26/18
Intricately fragile, embracing her curves,
She silently breathes in this womb,
This womb where she is a prey to its wants,
Its black silken webbing costume,
That clenches her neck, runs down her back,
Is tattooed the length of her leg,
Where every small inch of her dark gothic body,
Is covered in this spider’s thread,
She’s at one with this life of widowed disguise,
Eyeliner, fishnets, boots, and nails,
Each covered in this rich exquisite black web,
Becoming her corseted black jail,
And she wakes up at three, the unlit in the dark,
To play and to stalk and to bite,
To walk in the black crisp air of your town,
Our black widow who walks in the night.
I stand alone on a busy street and think of you.
The world around me is moving, but I am standing still.
My heart has lost interest and its warmth fades into the distance;
But then I think of you and I wonder,
Would I trust you if you could heal my pain?
Loose, dark curls frame a face that seems so familiar.
Your eyes probe into my soul and call out to my heart.
More than anything, I want to run to you - into your arms.
In your eye I find peace and I taste freedom on your lips.
I could stay near to your heart if you could heal my pain.
Your arms reach out for me, your voice calls out my name.
I step towards you, but my heart clenches with fear.
If I come to you, will you keep reaching out for me?
Or will you drawback and walk away with my heart?
Would I still hide in the darkness if you could heal my pain?
I want to be with you and remain close to your heart.
I draw strength from your hands as you hold me up.
My soul craves the warmth and depth in your eyes.
I find happiness when I feel your arms and hear your voice.
I would never fear again, if you could heal my pain.
© 1997 Cherie Fleming
at the niger chambers where a pensive-calm
dwells amid nature and the hill-top lads
– the mouth-piece of the serene clan! –
where as many a lonely weaver she stands
o, where the now-weird homestead stands
– the epitome of native caves and mounts! –
’tis like a confluence of cabals that clenches
our world, a new world deep in the forests;
aloft of the ancient world of weavers and eaglets
an ancient world of the mother of the amazons –
there! we wait! the microcosm of new maidens!
– the new mouth-piece of a new serene clan! –
a confluence of mere cabals clench’ng our clan;
o, drum for these lonely weavers of the forests!
I will not let myself say that I miss you...
out loud
I will silently torment myself with the thought
Over and over in my head
As my stomach clenches and
I lose focus on all else
I will allow myself the comfort that you are here now
And I will not think of losing you
I will not think of your pain
and want to fix it--
make you whole
I will not let my heart leap with emotion when you look at me
Eye wide, soul exposed
I will not let myself reach for more
Because having more means losing more
and there would be nothing left of me but a whisper,
lost in the breeze from a breath that came out too fast
Too hard,
Too soon
Disappearing into winter air with a punch of white cloud
All from a whisper of:
"I will miss you"
No,
It would only be a quick breath,
and gone
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