Moments of sadness
Where have you gone?
You never were mine
So self, carry on
Time is a healer
Great wounds cauterize
But scars will reopen
When I think of those eyes
A surging gust of changing wind
has pushed me down a path unknown.
Engaging dreams I won't rescind
will place me at my lover's throne.
She'll gently brush her noble hand
across my soft but weary brow.
Her tenderness will take command
and to her velvet touch I'll bow.
My fire will circumvent her heart,
then cauterize the gaping hole;
a tear that ripped her realm apart
and left a chasm in her soul.
Two kindred flames ignite in dance,
which sparks a royal duet's tune.
For this hurting queen a second chance
to waltz beneath the autumn moon.
With newfound faith, my hopes she'll take
and forge a castle 'round our dream.
Emotions, dead, are now awake
to love that grows and reigns supreme
Release the world from your faulty perceptions,
And all the threatening things you believe it to be.
We see the world through our own tinted lenses.
Only the things we look for, are the things that we see.
When we question the origin of misguided beliefs,
They cannot hold up to scrutiny’s piercing gaze.
When exposed, they cauterize our gaping wounds by
Forgiving the sins, releasing the pain in a glorifying blaze.
The devil is in the details.
It's a house of cards built on shifting sand.
Release one false belief and let
The rest collapse in your trembling hand.
Copyright © Chula Fleming 8/10/24
- Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace -
- Dalai Lama
Winters storms have settled
The coat was worn but warm
Right here
in the song of my heart
with complete zen
An unadorned splendour
green hills and blue ocean
Pure,vast and wonderfully adorned
A fusion where the absolute occurs
cauterize your deep wounds
Transparent truth
not a phenomenon
Find the stillness within
the essence of life
To soothe the cornered inferno
Consuming a sanctuary abandoned
Spider's silk like snow kissed ground
Walls caressed by a nurturing moss,
A mausoleum of birth
The detached ruins we carry
A firefighter's hose spouts curses
To cauterize a ghastly flame
The fire fights itself separately
So the lever pullers on the dispatch
Call into the ears of a healer
To douse themselves in gasoline
There is no pain, for in
Recognition there is warmth
The exiles of the charred asylum
Need something true to human heart
An acknowledgment of all their parts
I’d take a knife and cut it out
like some deep-down infected gout
if only it were there under my skin.
I’d prick a vein and let it bleed,
free flowing, nothing to impede
if I thought it were streaming deep within.
I’d amputate it bit by bit
til there was nothing left of it,
then throw it piece by piece into the grind.
I’d heat a rod to glowing red,
then press and cauterize instead
of letting it live on, but I can’t find
just where it is inside in me.
I’ve stared into my eyes to see,
but all the mirror shows are signs of age.
I’ve knelt and prayed and tried to hold.
I’ve walked the line while growing old
but somehow, I can never turn the page.
And so I guess all I can do:
keep going. I suppose it’s true,
you cannot just give up and let it win.
So, I will hide the way I feel
and try to find a way to deal…
with the hidden pain that dwells within.
I live for brighter days despite this one's woeful absence of sun
Memories are being shot at me; bullets from a machine gun
Words keep rising out of me; a tidal wave, to swallow tomorrow's dawn
They are the shield protecting me; as if a doe looking after two fawn
I'm just a well mixed blend of fearless passion
Born from the forge that my life did so fashion
If I could build a stairway of infinite steps; to touch just one of the nights stars
Perhaps in the way it could burn; would cauterize gaping wounds forming new scars
I'm just standing in one place, letting myself listen to hear how it all sounds
But what my ears see are brass casings; collecting in mass uncountable pounds
I may love you, once love is all I have;
someday, with tears I'll wash away your grave:
till then I curse you since you died at last,
leaving me broke, alone, going nowhere fast.
Despite young Cupid, I won't bring you flowers;
or bathe you in dripping-wet, sparkling showers
of worship; or grant you the gold of chaise,
that gilts your summit-peaking thrones of maize.
Instead, I'll bring you a wreathe of barbed wires;
flame it! like a thousand nuclear pyres;
hang it upon your cruel member, like so!
And watch it burn, then cauterize, it slow.
Selfish Lover! You stole from me life's measure
of passion and unfathomable pleasure.
For that, therefore, I've the evil delight,
knowing your digit stands no more upright!
Framed blemish.
Heavy as a tumor.
Solid as surrender.
Dig into epidermis.
Uproot the moment.
Unclean kernel.
Hard, cold reflection.
Show me pretty.
Clogged pores.
Yellow teeth.
Rheumy eyes.
Ugly is as ugly does.
Smile at the mirror.
Try to forget.
This is you.
Forever unlovely.
Look at what you did.
Children are so cruel.
Rose scented perfume.
Disguise the stench.
Excrete from every orifice.
Sweat soaked lace.
Urine stained ribbons.
Paint and purify the meat.
Shave the head.
Smear on foundation.
Sever the lips.
Dust with powder.
Extract the teeth.
Cauterize with lipstick.
Amputate the feet.
Brush on eye shadow.
Saw through hip joints.
Smudge on blush.
Open up the abdomen.
Suture with mascara.
Remade.
Smiling through distortion.
Deny the trauma.
Repair the shell.
Convincingly Beautiful.
Improbably clean.
A surging gust of changing wind
has pushed me down a path unknown.
Engaging dreams I won't rescind
will place me at My Lover's throne.
She'll gently brush her noble hand
across my weary brow.
Her tenderness will take command
and to her velvet touch I'll bow.
My fire will circumvent her heart,
then cauterize the gaping hole;
a tear that ripped her realm apart
and left a chasm in her soul.
Two kindred flames ignite in dance,
which sparks a royal duet's tune.
This hurting Queen shall have a second chance
and waltz beneath the autumn moon.
With newfound faith, my hopes she'll take
and forge a castle 'round our dream.
Emotions, dead, are now awake
to a love that grows and reigns supreme.
Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.
I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and steady
but you came through when I was only half ready.
So oft you had to be not just a mom but a dad too.
It wounds me to confesss it but we both know it’s true.
Memories of sworn promises to you I didn’t keep
cauterize my conscience and cost me peaceful sleep.
Yes, dear, you were always there for me
seasons in and seasons out.
Thus you immeasurably blessed my life
of that there can be no doubt.
I like to think I repaid you at least a loving little.
If not, I pray God grant me mercy and an acquittal.
Intrepid
convalescent
spectacle glass eyes
Coral reef
terminal grief
cauterize
In disguise
skies
Inner planetary bodies blinking their eyes
9/9/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2020
DOSAGES AND PROCEDURES
We should not hepatize
the situation...
We should not sulfatize
in vain...
We cannot intoxicate
the reality...
The truth, however
poisonous whatever,
is therapeutics ...
The lie, yes clog
veins and thoughts ...
Pain and exaltation
are not synonymous and
if one can be a cure,
the other does not serve
as therapy ...
Let's do more anamnesis
of our mistakes and successes,
suture and cauterize
the wounds, the inconsistencies ...
Prescribe the elixir
of resilience and the serum
ethereal hope,
and we sipped the love
drop by drop to
make sure
of cure... !
Do you synthesize your anger,
do you cauterize the burn
Do you anesthetize the wonder,
as your dreams are drugged and scorned
Is your judgment tempered badly,
with emotion fiery hot
Is your vision colored madly,
by your choices—sold and bought
Does your music play reclusive,
do your words fall off the page
Does your ego feed that last excuse
—a mask you can’t explain
(Villanova Pennsylvania: November, 2016)
1/3/20
The smoke has left but I still feel panic in my lungs; elevate me to an elevation where I can stand myself
Anxiety quakes through this empty vessel as I register another sleepless night at this altered height
Lifting the haze in pursuit of something pure- In search of stability without the assistant of a substance
Elements of middle-age hysteria cloud this already dissolving youth
Weed through the contamination of this mind, compartmentalize every toxic thought behind these eyes and realize you don’t need anything to feel whole or revitalized
A plan devised to cauterize the feelings of withdrawal, hold the torch and guide with love
A high I could never reach on my own
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