Lies Within

I’d take a knife and cut it out like some deep-down infected gout if only it were there under my skin. I’d prick a vein and let it bleed, free flowing, nothing to impede if I thought it were streaming deep within. I’d amputate it bit by bit til there was nothing left of it, then throw it piece by piece into the grind. I’d heat a rod to glowing red, then press and cauterize instead of letting it live on, but I can’t find just where it is inside in me. I’ve stared into my eyes to see, but all the mirror shows are signs of age. I’ve knelt and prayed and tried to hold. I’ve walked the line while growing old but somehow, I can never turn the page. And so I guess all I can do: keep going. I suppose it’s true, you cannot just give up and let it win. So, I will hide the way I feel and try to find a way to deal… with the hidden pain that dwells within.