I invent the free-will tenets shaping the ego
in the realm of fantasized self-deception.
The stain of murky disdain blemishes my face,
I traverse the slimy ground of cardinal mud.
Life is stifled by the corrupt clutch hidden within,
in penitence I feel the spiteful pangs of pain.
I travel unshackled out of the abyss of despair
on the inward journey through epiphany layers,
perceive in the soul the flush of divine beacon,
lighting the corridor leading to the abode of bliss.
The consciousness compass of the errant mind
finds the illumined introspection path of acuity.
The door of the inner sanctum then opens,
where the lotus blooms with heavenly sheen,
shining the soul with astral glare in deep space
with the flaring brilliance of billion suns.
In my self-searching voyage to eternity
the inner galaxy makes me a living light.
They call thee stained, as though some fault were found,
In your pure transparency, cast as sad and frowned,
With the blemishes spread upon thy pure crystal face;
When color trespassed upon your virginal grace.
Yet what is glass but a fluid rich glow, a kin
To a sunbeam caught and taught to dwell within?
To show its ruby dawns and blue sapphire seas,
To warm a dawn, enlighten it, with a colored breeze.
Glass is not disgraced by what it yens to bear;
Blue rivers moving through regal saintly pure air,
Greens and yellows glowing upon an open pane.
Crimson hearts imbibed with red, to gleam again.
The dyes once poured into a molten glass's glow
Makes scenes much richer than plain glass can show.
We swayed back and forth as we rode town to town
where the gullible would soon bring their money around
my daddy sold elixirs that would make them feel good
making as much money as a poor boy-grown-up-man could
my mother sold knick knacks she hand sewed in the back
my sister and I were ringers in the audience, causing some flack
I used it and my blemishes were gone in a week I would yell
it cured my cancer and other things, hollered my sister Chel
making the money we needed to get to the next town for our next show
Those were days of contentment, more than I would yet know
bumps, blemishes and bruises torment my skin
old age has me down says the master wizard, Glenn
My flatulence is ridiculous stated the witch
wherever I walk I accidentally carve out a ditch!
Shut up said Jack knowing in days he’ll be green
And thrown out into the trash right after Halloween
I have no problems at all, said a satisfied ghost
Comparing their lives, he liked his the ut-most
Blemishes
breaks and chipped paint
and other imperfections
suggest repairs disturbing
what is perfect already:
perfect imperfection~~
Where tears rolled down Signal Hill
there rivulets formed Shadow
following twin’s auburn will ~
through blue moons and red, Mars stared
as Shadow birthed mottled mares
now she rolls back citrus flares
onto face, blemishes dare !
_______________________
Contest : Seven by Seven
Sponsor : Nette Onclaud
Jan.26. Placing : 3rd : Standard Contest
68.
I Want to be One with Nature
I want to be in paradise on earth
Free from all disgusting man-made dirt.
Roll on grasses
With no itches
Soak in water
‘Til I'm cleaner
Breathe the fresh air
Shun all despair!
Make me one with God's prior creations
Filtering all worldly pollutions.
Sleep with the beasts
Feel them at least
Swim with fishes
Cleanse blemishes
Fly with the birds
Clouds we traverse!
Because I want to be one with nature
Making slower my mortal rupture.
-11/27/2011
(Dumarao)
*First Incubus Collection
I've severed my conscious from the backplates of my brain. I’ve pleated vine and cord through the cracks of my rib, bedsores spreading across my ever-paling appearance. I haven't left this hole in weeks.
I get nauseous at my own proof of life, conviction, correction of every flaw flowing out the gaps in my crooked mouth. I let insecurity envelop me, so I hide. I hibernate through nightfall and shorter sunshine. I paint powder over blemishes and broken bones. I crave to be coddled in frozen droplets and sheer fabrics that cool my skin; But I can't bear to be draped in anything but harsh winter coats and the pudge that distorts my figure.
Maybe, I'm addicted to hatred. A taste so strong I can only starve it out of my system - though I'd drown in the taste of every regret I've shoved down. Every loss of control is sharp at the end, blackening my ivories and souring my savory-sweet till I'm all overt ailment and I can't salt the snow that strikes me.
Over time, I've been pricked and prodded. What is now only winter breath replacing empty calories down my throat. What was once soft snowfall is now avalanche, and I can't bring myself to do anything but lay down and freeze.
Since you've left,
The soil still bears your footprints,
In the yard with the old oak tree outside.
Since you've left,
The tap still drips in the sink,
As if paused mid-turn.
Since you've left,
The cushions in the sofa lay haphazard,
Waiting to make space for you again.
Since you've left,
The vendor waits an extra minute,
While passing by the house.
Since you've left,
The old neighbour still looks over my shoulder,
When he sees me approach.
Since you've left,
Lullabies don't sit on the tongue,
With the same familiarity as they used to.
Since you've left,
Toddlers have stopped gazing at the world,
With the same wonder and awe.
Since you've left,
The lady down the road missed a loop,
While knitting the sweater for her youngest.
Since you've left,
The willow droops lower,
Despite the early spring.
Since you've left,
Hope has become helpless,
And anticipation reconciled with dread.
Since you've left,
The moon has ceased to rouse poetry,
While its blemishes have taken up the words and the ink.
I glimpsed a blip of myself in the mirror
hiding in the back, but wait, was that right?
I got up close and looked into the reflection really hard
noticed a few blemishes I had not seen before
A bit of imagination on overdrive, probably
I saw no kind of glimpse or darting doppelganger
Settled down, until a dash of energy drew my eyes to the right
my head spun hard; I felt like I was being watched
You look like you saw something strange, my companion said
I do not trust her, so I shared nothing
She is a gossipmonger, I wish I had not got stuck sitting beside her
there was a tiny giggle in my ear; tiny hairs saluted my neck.
As I started to fall asleep that night I felt like a gangster’s moll
I was running down an alley; it was in the thirties, I was being chased
I knew if they caught me, they would kill me.
Gangsters caught me, threw me down and cut my throat from left to right
I woke up startled. My doppelganger was standing next to my bed.
She wore a flapper-type dress. We deserved it she said.
Giving me shivers.
Contest : J With Four Options
Sponsor : Constance La France
Date : August 9, 2025
The unseen glow of omnipresent divine light
floods my possessed essence, but I don’t perceive,
for I invent free-will tenets shaping ego
in the realm of fantasized self-deception.
The stain of murky disdain blemishes my face,
I traverse the slimy ground of cardinal mud.
Life is stifled by corrupt clutch hidden within,
in penitence I feel the spiteful pangs of pain.
I travel unshackled out of despair abyss
on the journey within through consciousness layers,
perceive in the soul the flush of divine beacon,
lighting the corridor to the abode of bliss.
The ill-conceived venture of the errant mind
finds gloomy dead-end in the introspection path.
That’s when the door of the inner sanctum opens,
where the lotus blooms suffused with heavenly sheen.
The soul shines with astral radiance in deep space
with the flaring brilliance of a billion suns.
In my self-searching voyage to eternity
the inner galaxy makes me a living light.
The self-obsessive free-will seemingly dormant,
envelopes the possessed mind with an illusory veil,
obscures the ordained destination God decides,
l need to reach, for I’m subservient of His will.
The unseen glow of the omnipresent light
floods my possessed essence, but I don’t perceive,
for I formulate the free-rule tenets enslaving the ego
in the realm of fantasized self-deception.
The stain of murky disdain blemishes the spirit,
as I traverse the slimy ground of cardinal indulgence.
Life is stifled by the corrupt clutch hidden within,
in penitence I feel the pernicious pangs of pain.
I travel unshackled out of the dark abyss of anguish,
on the inward journey through layers of consciousness,
perceive in the soul the shine of the spiritual crystal,
radiating in the inner sanctum with divine bliss.
Within the deep space of my godly awareness,
my soul sparkles with the brilliance of sacred sapphire.
In my self-searching odyssey at the edge of eternity
the luster of devout acuity turns me into a living gem.
Only when my costume’s
Been hissed at with steel
Do my garments ripple in small, stormless waves.
Only when my mask
Has been greased in pale mud
Do my blemishes blend with the sea of my face.
Only when my hair’s
Met a shower of glue
Does it cow to the waves that my fingers might make.
Only when my prop
Has been sharpened in stone
Does it shimmer like sun-shatter left in a wake.
Why preparation
To such a degree
When an extra’s the part you’re most likely to play?
True, when you’re starring,
I’m off to the side,
Doing my best to stay out of your way.
But I have a stage,
As do you, in the mind,
Somewhere my name’s at the top of the bill.
There, I’m flood-soaked
And pregnant with lines
And you’re in the dark standing perfectly still.
Oh, noble strangers,
Who pass through my life,
Storied and nameless, busy and kind.
There in the passing,
Your extra I’ll be,
And in my performance, maybe you can be mine.
I accept you for what you are, what you’re not and who you’ll become . I want to know your thoughts so we can ponder collectively. I want to feel the warmth from your embracement giving me comfort and security. I want you to seek refuge and shelter within me. I want my name to loop in your mind just like yours does to mine . I want to mean something to you. Not the remnants you discard when you’re satisfied. the days you choose to ignore. the neglected sun you loathe when you sense the heat yet you crave for it during torrential downpour. Futile is what I am . I cant be the sun on a rainy day neither the moon on a somber night . I want you to yearn for me only then will I unveil my facade of insouciance and portray vulnerability. I’ll wait for you to say the words because saying it myself will only paint my canvas as the jest but when you speak it sounds ever so pure and cathartic I almost regard it . Till then I’ll observe you closely paying attention to even the smallest of freckles or blemishes hoping that one day you’ll choose me.
He asked, in Gethsemane, if there's another way
If sin can be recompensed without His blood to pay
But silence answered as He prayed
The world held its tongue, as if to say
"There is no other way."
The narrow road that stretched ahead
Was paved by the ugly sting of death
That drew His blood at every tread
And thorns of sin, and guilt, and dread
He took it all upon His head
We all have blemishes we try to hide
Cruel vices that cannot be justified
A hurtful thought, or word, or deed
Virtues stained by pride and greed
These, all of us must guilty plead
But Justice calls to lay by His side
Redeemed by the blood of the crucified
He bore our shame to give us grace
And crown us victors of the race
Now I can’t help but stand amazed
He’s filled my heart, full of His praise
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