Best Yuck Poems
YUCK
I know we are supposed to love them
all creatures great and small
I know God had a reason
when he created those that crawl
even those that creep and flit
are part of a master plan
filling every earthly niche
in air, in water, on land
but Lord in your mighty scheme
please tell me in what mood
as you perused your work
and saw that it was good
inspected every nook and cranny
touched every leaf and twig
prompted you without a glance
to invent the pesky earwig.
when accused of blither-blather
seek shelter in the moment, rather
than plunge right in confrontationally
into a bottomless pit of calumny
remember to count to ten again and again
ramp it up to a thousand, don’t pretend
if you’re still hot, don’t plead that you’re not
or let bygones be bygones and all that rot
‘coz the chickens always come home to roost
when and if you’re still juiced
you just might slice that swollen face wide open, catsup-red
then hallucinate as into grinning spiders it is shhh-RED
*******
If the horror you've just read
fills you with naught but dread
Try not to lose it, jughead ~ pray hard
before you go to bed
~ Dr. Jack Ell
When Mother Eagle returned with her wormy swag
Each of the eaglets grimaced and gagged
"Eat that slimy thing?
You've got to be kidding!
We'll wait and see what Dad bagged!"
7/29/11
Received 6th place in "Pure Thoughts on Nature" contest
There is a spider on my wall,
I tried to squish it with a baseball;
But I only made it mad,
Oh man, this is bad,
Why am I afraid of something so small.
It seems at least one dorm room is the dwelling of a bum.
I visited my son and saw big piles of grungy clothes.
leftover fast food, open garbage--things a mother loathes!
Sloppy sons so seldom seek to scour sickening scum.
(This is a fictional poem)
You're making a peanut butter sandwich with sardines.
That's one of the grossest things I've ever seen.
Now you're putting marshmallows and gravy on it too.
I'm going to call the funny farm on you.
Not cut from the same cloth
humanity has been brain washed
I'm the type who loves to watch
look to the left and cough
she's thick in that primordial sauce
primitive temptations
invading my reptilian thoughts
set mountains ablaze
to attract gaint moths
only
to
be
squashed
EWE...My man,
You're not so spic and span.
I waited for you all day.
To come and sit on me and play.
Where have you been, my man?
Seems I wasn't in your plan.
And now that you are here,
I wish you'd cleaned your rear.
You cut that grass so close,
Now all that sweat is gross.
I don't want to be real mean.
But you must go and clean.
Get in that shower and rub!
Your bottom mostly scrub!
And when your rear is clear.
Come back and sit right here!
For Matt Caliri's Speak chair! Speak! contest
wow! she is so beautiful! i would like to get to know her. i wonder what is her name. look at her. she is dressed very nice. goergous hair, pretty smile. how can i get her attention? i know. ill ask her the time. excuse me miss, do u have the time ? " yes , its a quarter pass nine". thank you, have a nice day. omg.. her breath smells like an ash tray. and she has a yuck mouth.
Asked my class name, 3 famous people in history, they would like to see
"The first child said Lincoln, Washington, and Ali"
2nd one said" I really don't know"
The last one said," Curley, Larry, and Moe
9/6/2018
There you go again,
tossing your ugly into the party mix
You don’t know any other way to flow,
that’s just how you roll
But let me make this crystal clear:
unplug your busybody ear,
and stay out of my business —
No tamper ... no interfere
Keep your negative attitude,
don’t bring it here
Your funky mood,
don’t want it near
Steer clear of my personal affairs,
if not, proceed with fear
Keep your scissor hands
away from my Afro
Keep your peeping eyes
away from the keyhole
Don’t start getting smart
talking dumb
Don’t smear your fingers
in my frosting when the candles get lit,
and the singing has begun ...
Don’t yuck my yum
Don’t piss on my happy
with your glum
Don’t stick your fingers
in my cake when the candles get blown,
and the well-wishes kisses come ...
Don’t yuck my yum
Everybody here is for having fun,
so pack your sour lip prune gums ...
no last bathroom run
Time for you to get out of here
Or your cracked fortune cookie
gon crumble some
Last warning,
you gossip bum —
Don’t yuck my yum!
The Yuck
I don’t want to do nothing
This is a trap of the enemy
Somehow I’ve got to pray through this trap
Humble me Lord, that I can pray on to
you in this fragile state
Let me be thankful in my petition
I need the strength to push past this plateau in my mind
Help me to see your grace, which is strong enough for me
Help me to see that you’ve got this under control
Help me to move past the yucky feeling of progress
And to trust you enough to sustain me through the yuck
My wife is simply the most awesome cluck*
For my birthday she made a juicy duck
Squirt of this, squirt of that
Big fat duck just went splat
Came out tasting like a ‘whole lotta yuck!’
_____________________________________
*'Cluck' means 'chef' in avant-garde French
In a lifetime, we ingest 70 insects and 10 spiders while sleeping
Tell me these facts are fictitious, my mind's bleeping
Yucky I say
Not true, NO WAY!
But I'll still stay awake to catch these guy's a-leaping
Love without
Love within
Love where I am
where I’ve been
Beginning to think:
far too much abundance
of this foolish, loving folly,
so I kicked my
wagging tail collie --
loving view~
it just ain’t fair! – attempting to escape,
I journeyed to the zoo
wouldn’t you know it,
two loving ape there too
along to the park
high in birch nest
spied I a pair of nurturing
lark, near
another pair of
snuggling Red Breast --
two nests,
fondly sharing, the same supporting limb
depressingly glim...
a loving co-op I must confess – such loving
caress – sadly, much more loving
needing my critical address:
a young boy helping
an old lady off the bus~
gentle, avoiding painful
fuss
a bow-haired girl
giving a bowl of milk to a feral cat
(I prefer a brat!) --
Expressing pure love
by her selfless care, makes a
ornery boy cuss
for a devout prune-face like me
I disapprovingly profess
this entire day,
a freaking loving Mess!