Best Whopping Poems

Penelopina Teena had a birthday today,
in faerie years she's a whopping 9008!
It's such a celebration as you have never seen
was held for this tiny white petite faerie queen.

A firefly has gifted her with the finest moon dust,
for faerie magic it's such powerful fine stuff.
Faerie chef...

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Cradled by a hammock
with the sun shining in.
Coddled with Summer fun.
Ice cream’s dripping
from a whopping sugar cone.
It’s sweet to do nothing
but tongue the licks
and swing in a basket
in the zephyr wind.

It’s sweet to read a book
as I settle in.
My heart can race,
with adventure and romance,
with...

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whopping bully
torments soupers fully
picks on others writes
although her writing bites

great big bully
eyes must be woolly
she attempts hurt
with words curt

Diana-Marie Bombardieri
January 29, 2012
Contest - Clerihew 2

“poetry is freedom of expression. Soupers should feel free to share their innermost thoughts without fear of being persecuted. Nobody likes...

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Ladies - Gents, hear this that I may increase your leisure benefits!
All who have labored for cleanliness, for a spic and span to savor,
please allow me now to do you the most ginormous of favors … 

Sweep, vacuum, scrub, dust, mop … have those acts...

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I’m writing to you this now because it has come to my attention that this is a serious issue.

You are so very beautiful,
so intelligent, caring and kind. And you have so much to offer.
Offering your talents is a scary thing. It means opening yourself up...

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Queens are all over, and there are festivals, parades, banners and stuff.
I wanted to be Corn Queen once, but they chose a girl from Council Bluff.
Our phenomenal state fairs have a bunch of pageants galore.
We watch these winners parade in with titles, banners, and more.

Miss...

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Let me explain the numbers I see
The first chart illustrates the five states that flipped
Notice how close the totals are
So, when folks dismiss the evidence of fraud
As being inconsequential I think this demonstrates they’re mental 

Now as to Maricopa, it is the single county that...

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Whopping big or small sized -
With inside red flesh of
Wonderful sweetness, this
Weighty fruit’s percent of
Water is ninety-two!
Wow! That’s great hydration.
Wish I had some right now.

May 10, 2021
For Kim Merryman's Pleiades W Poetry Contest...

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Unquotable quotes: Fat People – XXIX

(I know this piece sounds mean and cruel but as every single parent must have experienced, this is also the expression of utter exasperation, and perhaps there’s also the slightest hint of an iota of necessary truth in it after...

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Unquotable quotes: The Janitor, Gardienne, Landlady, Housekeeper, Portero, the Sereno and the Hausgast – XXXI  Part One

Be they so named or not in these here parts, visions of shrieking furies with Gorgon heads and frightful temple-guardian Dvarapalas and Gothic Frankensteins with blood-dripping fangs and...

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Solomon Grundy, Solomon Grundy,
sniffer of glue, when offered, on Monday.
The Tuesday was hash, a whopping great spliff;
on Wednesday took coke, a generous sniff.

For Thursday some crack, the dodgiest brand,
and Friday’s dope needle was quite second-hand.
When Saturday came, a massive OD;
on Sunday it ended, this hedonist...

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As a child in days gone by
Mother’s rod was swift  but sure
Many a weal as time went by
Scarred my skin an ugly blue.

Nagging was the way of life
My mother used to lay the rule 
Not a day did I cry
Child abuse, nor reported it...

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I was giving a lesson on the Liberty Bell, as the daily Church bells went off.
Yes, you guessed it, Dragon wanted to ring them, suddenly he was aloft.
Before we could follow, he was out of sight, but that didn’t matter, anyhow.
The only steepled church, with...

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Boy we live a hectic life;
For instance, yesterday.
I couldn’t kiss my busy wife
With baby’s backside in the way.

So I left without a kiss,
And sat on the car’s seat,
But luckily I didn’t miss
The slippers on my feet.

After going in the house
To don the right attire.
For my...

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Dream of Infinity
by Michael R. Burch

Have you tasted the bitterness of tears of despair?
Have you watched the sun sink through such pale, balmless air
that your soul sought its shell like a crab on a beach,
then scuttled inside to be safe, out of reach?

Might I lift...

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