Best Tow Truck Poems
I'm searching for a new man.
(My lemon quit on me.)
I'm a discerning seeker.
(The smallest dent, I'll see!)
I want a younger fellow;
(Low mileage is a must.)
Required is great get-up-and-go
(an engine with no rust).
He should desire me in his lap.
(Seat warmers feel so good.)
He's gotta be in tiptop shape.
(I'll know what's under the hood!)
Low-maintenance, I value.
(oil changes quarterly)
He must look good and make me proud.
(Buffed shine, I love to see.)
Trustworthiness, I so desire.
(Don't like those tow truck calls!)
He must always keep pace with me.
(Don't want a thing that stalls.)
April 1, 2017--entered in Brian Strand's April 2017 Premier Contest
A black phone
I dislike our phone a sleek monster in a corner
I never answer it when it rings unless my wife is out
My mobile phone is in the pocket in my jacket in the hall
Where I can`t hear it when it rings, it is usually someone
Trying to sell me something, but I never go out driving
Without my mobile it comes in handy if the car breaks
Down and I have to call the garage with a tow- truck
Years ago I used to do haiku; it did my head in
The bloody phone always rang when I had the right
Word on the tip of my tongue often I took the phone
Off its hook but I could hear it humming which was
Worse when I was still young enough to think
A phone could bring good news something like
“We have decided to publish your book” it never
Happened instead, it rang to give me heart-wrenching
News, an early morning call: your mother has died.
Dear Father Holy Spirit and Son
You turned what could have been a tragedy into a special day of fun
You got me off the interstate before my tire came off
And turned things into a miracle instead of being rough
First you sent 3 angels to protect me and watch over me until help arrived
They suggested i call the police to keep my truck from being hit and to help me survive
I said oh ok and did what they had said
But when the police got there i turned my head
The angels said they would stay until help came
And when it did they disappeared i just wasn't the same
I realized it was angels and you that had saved my terrible day
You took what could have been very bad and made me happy not sad
In a miracle way you turned sad into glad
When the policeman said it would cost 125 dollars to be towed 100 feet
I was disappointed and almost stomped my feet
But when the tow truck driver came i said how much will it be
He said 125 dollars and i said i don’t have it you see
Then the officer called him into a corner to discuss
And the tow truck driver came back and said ok i will do it with no fuss
He went ahead and towed me to a safer area not far away
And because of these 2 miracles father you made what was terrible into a great day
I eventually got towed to firestone to get my truck fixed fairly fast
And now i have my truck back and pray it will always last
So thank you father for showing me your care and your love
And thank you for sending the heavenly angels from above
Written by michael james kolter
I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING
BUT YOU BETTER SLOW DOWN
WE DON'T LIKE SPEEDERS
FLYING THROUGH TOWN
SPEED LIMIT HERE
IS THIRTY-FIVE
OFFICER PETE
HAS AN EAGLE EYE
YA AUGHT TO SLOW DOWN
TAKE IN THE VIEW
SEE WHAT OUR TOWN
HAS TO OFFER YOU
A BED AND BREAKFAST
JUST UP THE ROAD
WITH A POND OUT BACK
WITH TURTLES AND TOADS
WE HAVE A GROCER
WITH A PHARMACY
WE HAVE A HAIR CUTTER
BY THE NAME OF ELLIE
WE HAVE A GAS STATION
AND COFFEE SHOP
FILL UP YOUR TANK
AND HAVE A RED POP
WE HAVE A TOW TRUCK
AND A JAIL
WE HAVE NO PLACE
TO POST YOUR BAIL
YOU'LL WAIT TILL TUESDAY
TO SEE THE MAGISTRATE
HE WILL BE HERE
BUT OFTEN LATE
I was following a speeding ambulance down the street the other day,
When it took a sharp corner and the back door flew open all the way!
A large Styrofoam box fell out and I screeched to a halt to peer inside.
What I found was so loathsome that my amazement I could not hide!
Nestling in packed ice and peering back at me was a human toe!
I reckoned it was being taken to a hapless chap on which to re-sew!
As a result of this very grave incident the only thing I knew to do,
Was summon a 'tow' truck! I think you would've done the same thing too!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Don't panic - this is another fictional write!
Mom’s old Chrysler is the scourge of my life
driving it, this sedan makes me complain
forty meters on a ride, the wheels pop--
by that time, I miss the green light... again!
So I'm squatting like a fool on a byway
with prayers, the tow truck gets here real fast--
while counting a hundred 'go' lights blink on ;
my lacy dress spoils, my frail wits aghast!
To make matters worse, tonight's the great prom...
While above the green bulb, a poster reads,
" Is your auto worn-out? Here's an offer!
Get the new Chrysler where each ride succeeds!
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Green Humor Rhymes, Old Or New For Prizes
1/16/2019 ~ Revised
There are those moments that stay with us forever
stuck in time, we will forget them never
The night I picked up the phone, it was late
how could this be his fate?
I drove and on my way I got a flat tire
this seemed a cruel and divinely planned satire
The tow truck man could not remove the lug nuts
Almost midnight now and I thought he was a putz
When mom's door opened there were swollen eyes
I was the strong one to my surprise
We made the plans and bought the box
I look back now and know I was still in shock
My hair came out in clumps as I showered
Being strong and holding it in was not making me feel empowered
Then about three months later it hit me like a wall
my father was gone, I would not see him at all
I had not cried at all until that day
It seemed I could not stop now to my dismay
My words of wisdom to pass on to you my friend
Tell those you love how you feel every now and again.
Once upon a happening
there was a family of four
all had different ideas
on spending vacation and more.
Dad thought it best
if they camped in the woods
to go hiking in the mountains
on a trail where they could.
Mom wanted relaxation
and to stay at a resort
go golfing on the green
and play tennis on the courts.
Big brother didn't agree
and wanted fast fun
the amusement park was his thing
where the roller coasters run.
Sister's nose turned up
at all of their wants
back to the beach and ocean
were her playful haunts.
Dad pulled the paper
straight out of the hat
to the beach they were to go
so they hurried and packed.
With the car all loaded
they were ready to go
so off they all went
with swim tubes in tow.
A few hours later
the car started in
it clunked and clunked
and lurched and spinned.
Dad checked under the hood
then put the hood down
called the tow truck
to bring it into town.
The cabin near the woods
was were they had to stay
so they all took a hike
down the trail that day.
The very next morning
they were on their way
heading to the beach
on a nice sunny day.
Three hours driving and
the car started to churn
and do some loud jerking
as Dad soon would learn.
Dad checked under the hood
then put the hood down
called the tow truck
to bring it into town.
The hotel room near the courts
was were they had to stay
so they all played some tennis
at the resort that day.
The very next morning
they were on their way
heading to the beach
on a nice sunny day.
Five hours driving and
the car started again
the banging and clanging
was doing Dad in.
Dad checked under the hood
then put the hood down
called the tow truck
to bring it into town.
The lodge by the rides
was were they had to stay
so they all had some fun
at the amusement park that day.
The very next morning
they were on their way
heading to the beach
on a nice sunny day.
After all their trouble
they finaaly arrived
at Sis' favorite spot
bungalow number 5.
The crystal beige sand
lead straight to their door
the water beyond that
made you want more.
Things may not have gone
as they would have liked
but this family of four
still had fun in spite.
I vibrate on a higher frequency, I try to hold myself to a higher decency, sometimes it's hard not to go into creep mode, but I try my best and stick to the G code
I ask myself what would I want my son to do in situations I face, but the trick is not to ever have my son in the situations I face, daddy was a anomaly I might have used up all his luck, so I have to be the advice in his head if ever he feels stuck, I have to be there to pull him out like a personal tow truck
Looking in the mirror & seeing your real reflection for the first time can be epic, but if you are living like a dirt bag you may feel septic, what I see when I look is a misguided King but a King nonetheless, I'll get the kingdom back in order no question because I'm blessed
When the war within is fought & won, I won't need confirmation I know I AM the chosen one, enemies will be welcomed with a open arm, my chakras are aligned you can bring me no harm, you may not be able to see it now but we are the same God, when we get together & form Voltron we'll have a unstoppable squad
Salami for a Horse.
Driving home from the man whose profession
is to study people´s entrails, rice pudding he
had said and no booze- and for this banality
he charged me 80 euros; the car stopped and
I opened the back door- of the car- and let out
my horse. It is a small horse my feet reached
the ground and I helped the horse by walking
too- sitting. Nearing home it galloped which
was painful for my ankles.
Stabled it on the veranda, but as I had no hay
it eat the wicker chair, which displeased my cat
that used to sleep in it. Morning, the horse was
on the road the cat sat on top of it dressed as
a musketeer, looking like Tony Bandera, the cat
swung its hat the horse neighed; I opened a tin
of low fat rice pudding, - had wanted salami
on warm loaf with butter- rang for a tow- truck
and horseless began walking to the car.
Conversing with a stranger
Is a New York City norm,
To comment on a situation
Or to just inform.
My chat with stranger #1
Took place as we observed
A tow truck hooking up a car
Which likely it deserved…
For it was parked illegally.
My stranger friend and I
Agreed that we would hate to be
The “where’s-my-car-at?”guy.
My next exchange took place
At the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
A woman with green gloves enjoyed
A choice that I had made.
“I like your earrings – though they’re green,
They’re subtle, yet they say
I’ve got my Irish on to hear
The bagpipes holding sway.”
We chatted then ‘bout this and that
As bands came into view;
But what’s her name or where’s she live?
I haven’t got a clue.
What I love about the city is
The choice is ours to make –
Converse or blend into the crowd;
There isn’t much at stake.
Anonymity’s the rule
Though strangers, when connected,
May enjoy a conversation
Knowing nothing is expected.
Amazing to me this man would be.
On September 4th 2007 he would be sent to me
and my children to comfort us.
Sitting along the side of the highway after an auto
accident my children and I were quite shaken.
Countless vehicles passed us by as if nothing had happened.
Then all of a sudden this pickup truck pulled over.
A some what tall, slender man got out, it was Mike.
So kind and caring he seemed.
Staying with my children and I long after my husband, the officer,
and the tow truck arrived.
Talking to us, reassuring us that things would be fine.
Thank you God for sending my family an angel named Mike!
Refrain:
We three mates can raise three cheers.
Here we are together raising our glasses of beers.
Any sins or troubles, let the beers wash them away.
We can be sober tomorrow. Let’s get loaded today.
As long as we are functioning alive,
we have to punch the time clock for nine to five.
Our supervisor is such a pain in the rear.
We can forget about him while we drink our beer.
With my automobile, I am two payments behind.
For the repo man, I will be difficult to find.
He won’t think of bringing the tow truck here.
The car will stay outside while we drink our beer.
For thirty years now, I’ve been stuck with my wife.
She has been torturing and pestering me for most of my life.
If I’m out too late, I know she will come here.
We can all wait patiently while we drink our beer.
Big mike got away again all the pictures of the catfish fins hanging off the tailgate It was this big no joke Big mike got away again Maybe you’re not holding your mouth right Breaking limbs and hundred pound throws It was this big no joke We would have to hook it with tow truck drive home and turn it around to get it in that was the joke but Big mike got away again * - In memory of my grandpa David Kappel
I found out a long time ago,
it's a long way down the Holiday road.
I need a vacation from my vacation.
I'd of been better off at home in deep meditation.
"You need some time off," I'm often told,
but it's a long way down that Holiday road.
Bags are packed and the bills are all paid.
Time to get on the open highway.
Driving with the top down underneath a clear sky of blue.
It doesn't get any better than this. Then my radiator blew.
I knew something like this was going to unfold.
Yes it's a long way down that Holiday road.
After being extorted by the local tow truck driver,
my Holiday was quickly becoming a fading desire.
but when I reached the Grand Canyon it was a sight to behold.
Destination accomplished on Holiday road.
I stood breathless taking in the scenery
just prior to being chased by a rapid coyote.
I spent the entire night asleep in a tree.
This vacation is killing me.
I awoke in the morning shivering and cold,
but thankfully no rabid coyote to behold.
This vacation is making me tired and old
and it's only my second day on Holiday road.
I ran out of my boots during the coyote run.
My bare feet were cracked and blistered under the hot mid day sun.
I must have run miles in this difficult terrain.
"Oh Perfect!" I said out loud as it started to rain.
I found my way back and felt even more the fool.
I left the top down. My car was a swimming pool.
Thankfully though no major damage done
and after my car dried out in the open sun
once again I was on the open road
to pursue more "fun" and "relaxation" on my Holiday road.