Best Take Home Poems
Some poets take Soup contests so seriously
If they lose they respond so injuriously
We’re here to have fun; isn’t that really the point?
And a czar of ALL contests, we just won’t anoint
We win and we lose but grow tired of the whining
The stress, grief and tension are all now combining
If you suffer poormewhininglosersyndrome
Just remember the prize you can’t always take home
We all spend a lot of time writing for contests
If we win only one, we should feel we are blessed
We must all learn to eat humble pie now and then
And put an end to brooding like flustered old hens
If you step on a crack
You will break your mother’s back.
When she made us mad.
It’s all we had.
We would spend hours
Jumping on the sidewalk crack.
It never worked.
So terribly glad.
Do not walk under a ladder
Or break a mirror.
You will have bad luck
From there to here.
If a black cat walks across your path.
You can shudder and shake.
For your life
This will break.
If you see the tooth fairy
You will not get any money at all, simply no dough.
If you see Santa,
Presents he will take home to the North Pole.
Friday the thirteenth.
All things bad will happen to you.
You cannot stop it, honey
Childhood trauma sticks to us like glue.
With cotton candy
Pink and dandy,
Funnel cakes, sweet
All you can eat
A Ferris wheel
To make you squeal,
The carousel
Sure looks swell
Toss a ring
To win something,
Pop a balloon
You'll get it soon
Try to get that prize
Go for the biggest size,
Win a pet if you wish
Take home a goldfish
Stay there all night
For every sound and sight,
Like a kid again, be
So much to do and see
Show off what you do
Win a ribbon, blue,
Shower what you raise
With the highest praise
Craft and quilt
By hands built,
Goodness canned
Grown on the land
Pumpkins and pies
To delight the eyes,
Each cow and pig
The biggest of the big
Farmer's best on display
Sat in a pile of hay,
Take in the dairy air
At the county fair!
It's okay to be single you get to go out and mingle, can even make your own jingles until the day you start to feel a constant tingle.
A feeling you haven't reached your goal because you're not yet whole. You go on date after date but you can't really relate so you just tolerate while having a longing for your soul mate.
You listen to society, they say you must have variety, you put on a false face, a fake laugh wishing you could make him take a polygraph cause you're so tired of getting the shaft, you start to pray to God foe your other half.
But your friends tell you to get a grip you have to have companionship so you go on another trip, after all it's just another booty call until you hit a brick wall.
Even though you're thinking of the downside you have your pride until you take home Dr.Jekyll and Mr Hyde, by The Grace of God it wasn't your final ride.
Now you're leery of dates, knowing you were delivered out of a hell of a strait so you suck it up and wait, lo and behold there stand your soulmate. You look to the sky and say God you're great.
You see, when life's laws you shun, and keep finding yourself outdone, stop being on the run. You'll know when you have found your hun because one plus one will equal ONE..
Don't drop your jaw this is not a flaw. It's Divine Law.
Sorry your kids can't come into
school today
As all the teachers are out on strike
wanting better pay
So are the doctor's and nurses and
paramedics as well
If you are sadly unfortunately feeling
unwell or have any form or other of
medical emergency or have an untimely
fall
As they also want a fairer living wage
to take home at the end of the month
And even if you wanted to go anywhere
and don't have your own car
I am also sorry to inform you that both
the buses and trains are currently out
on strike as well
So it seems like nobody is going anywhere
at the present moment in time
Because you can't or may be unable
to go or get anywhere anyways
And chances are no one will be there
or is probably at and manning their
work stations anyway
As everyone and everyone seems to
be currently out on strike
Seeking and searching for better pay
come what may
Only problem is nothing seems able
to be or is getting done for all and
sundry
And the negotiations between both and
all parties concerned
Don't seem to getting or going nowhere
either
Because and after COVID there
is hardly little or no money left in the
pot we are more so in debt since
world war II
she said
sleep
i thought
she said
jeep
so i
took her
for a test
drive
and
found
a few
gears
tight so
might
grease
them some
then give
another
hum
but
now i find
her body
paint was
just
cream
so i'm
enjoying
the ride
trying
to decide
should i
or could
i check
another
chassis
no she's
classy
and
i
know my
wheels are
spinning so
why would
i
even
think of
another make
or model since she
is such a take me for a spin
off
the lot
she's a pleasure
to sit in her seat and
take home but not own
I sat under a tree somewhere in Nebraska
after a late-night drive in a storm to here
my assignment. Nestled in the sandhills
the morning whispered. In silence I stayed
by a lake where a drive ended. The sun
reflected off a pond, my reflections
to begin the day. Trees and grasses sprouted
from sand fed by underground streams.
A soft breeze whispered, too. I closed
my eyes. Serenity. Pioneers had given their lives
to discover this land. It was mine for now.
I discovered the land for myself. A white cabin
near me was quiet, whether abandoned or not
it didn’t matter. I embraced the silence. Lost
in time. I felt in my mind a new poem form
the words I longed to share when I’d get
back home. Lines broke and found new lines.
Stanzas white spaces moments of silence
always said more than I could say as I gazed
at clouds drifting through open skies. A poem
or two I could take home with me on the long drive.
I had to admit I never knew what I would find.
My dear friends, bow not to the "father of lies"
He prowls as a lion...only in disguise
Waiting so patiently; hour by hour
Seeking the straying sheep he'll next devour
He licks his vile lips in anticipation
Hungering for the fallen of creation
Dripping as honey, one slathering falsehood
Can slide down as easily as the truth would
But soon in our sickness, we weaken and die
We curse at the heavens as we wonder why
We've eaten of evil for too many years
And fatally deconstruct from our own fears
Let us not give one more days' satisfaction
Instead let us purposely spring into action
We'll tackle that liar with Truth from our Father
And let Satan know that he just needn't bother
Even within a most imperfect world
We're stronger than anything that he can hurl
For weaker is he that would see our joy die
And greater the One who will come, by and by
To take home His children that stand 'til the last
That day, at His feet, our golden crowns we'll cast
As He wraps us up lovingly in His embrace
We shall weep with joy when we meet face to face
So, dear friends, bow not to the "father of lies"
Just fight the good fight, keep your eyes on the prize
I skate
with date
not ready
unsteady
cling rail
would bail
afraid
my maid
would skate
He-mate
leave rail
act male
fall down
I frown
but she
helps me
cling arm
no harm
we skate
up late
let go
oh no!
spill cup
helps up
red face
no race
to rail
still male
take home
not nome
miss
kiss
high school
now fool
I’m one hell of a guy
You should give me a try
I’m the kind you
Could take home to mother
I can fix anything
With a nail and some string
And I really am
Quite a good lover
I’m a nice king of fellah
And I’d like to tell ya
I’m nothing at all
Like my brother
I am clever and smart
And I have a good heart
And you’ll find I’m
An excellent lover
I’m a wonderful bloke
Now this isn’t a joke
I’m a man quite unlike
Any other
I am sweet I am kind
And I’m certain you’ll find
I am such
An incredible lover
So if you feel that way
And you want me to play
Just ring up
And give me a call
I’ll be with you tout suite
For I’m dying to meet
And I’m certain that
You'll have a ball
Written Nov. 10, 2012
Gail’s Note: Not for the Faint of Heart
Rated PG-13 (Poetic Grossness – 13 out of 20)
What part of this is true?
Answer posted at the end.
I was at the hospital.
It was a quarter past two.
I was waiting for my husband.
There was nothing to do.
The emergency was over.
His gall bladder was out.
He was coming back home
Better off, no doubt.
The next day our daughter cooked
A special meal for her dad.
To celebrate the ending
of what could have been sad.
Instead we were all at the table
Treating my hubby like a star
When he eyed the counter
And asked, “Where is the jar?”
My daughter’s eye caught mine
And she instantly knew
That this was no ordinary
Meat and Potato stew.
She ran into the bathroom
Her face turning green
As she quickly zoomed
Bypassing her scream.
And while she was retching
I quickly followed behind
And while she was queching
I spoke to ease her mind.
“Your meal is bladder free.
The jar’s on the garage shelf.
Come, look with me.
You can see for yourself.”
And when she saw the jar
Her eyes met mine.
I could tell she was beginning
To feel just fine.
She went back to the kitchen
And I did some retching myself
Because I had just fibbed
About that jar on the shelf.
The bladder in that jar
Was an old one of mine
And dad’s had been cooked
With potatoes, carrots, and wine.
So the moral of this tale
Is to say, “Thanks, but I’ll pass,”
When given a memento of yourself
From the hospital staff.
Answer: Person who had the gall bladder removed was my cousin. The hospital really gave him his gall bladder to take home in a jar. He really set it on the kitchen counter. (Ugh!) His wife made him move it to the garage.
Beware the Bomber - Epulaeryu
They call them “Belly Bombers”
Onion steamed burgers,
They say to, “Take home a sack”,
Square, holey patties.
I ate too many,
And I got,
Sick!
Original poem written for the contest:
“Fast Food Epulaeryu” ¤¤ 3rd Place ¤¤
Composed 4-28-2011
If you like adventure you will like Match.com,
But many of them you won’t want to take home to meet your Mom.
Each guy you see is a brand new slate.
It's like an interview, looking for a potential soulmate.
Some dates have a good sense of humor and seem great,
Then some on the first date have been real cheapskates!
I’ve had some dates that I could not wait to leave,
As they whined about their ex, wearing their heart on their sleeve.
One professor met me on the first date with roses, and was so sweet.
But I discovered he had a love for his drink, and I couldn’t compete.
There have been school administrators, men in business, and sales,
Some that seem very easy-going, and some as tough as nails.
One of the most interesting by far was a farmer…
Living a country life with his animals, he was a real charmer.
There are many shysters on match too, pretending to be single,
But married… and just looking to intermingle.
There are those that are looking for money that are crooks,
That will wine you and dine you with their good looks.
To protect yourself, get a background report before you date,
Then you don’t have to wonder if you will meet an inauspicious fate.
A funny do is a funny don't
Don't believe me?
Say I tell you "do talk nonsense"
It means you make no sense
So don't
If I tell you "do cheer up"
You will be so perked up
So you don't do it any more
Lol believe me yet?
No?
If I tell you "do do it"
You are going to think I order you
So you don't do it
Psychology my friend
Ahh what do I know?
Hey nobody is going to feel down okay?
Because it is weekend
Starting right now
You can leave the work load behind
Don't take home with you
It can be alone for a few days
No point of having it impeded on your weekend
This time is yours
Still feeling down?
Just think somebody thinks you're wonderful
I wonder who
Me you fool
Anyhow try to have a cheery weekend
And I will talk to you later
Long before the white man came
to the Black Hills of South Dokota,
in a teepee made of buffalo skin
lived a young Sioux warrior called Akecheta;
he hunted with a hawk that spotted the slowest
horse, his friends admired him for his courage.
He rode through prairies for hours,
never taking taking a nap and rest
under the shade of a Prickly Pear Cactus!
He watched rainbows stretching
over a horizon dazzling with sun
and invoked the Great Spirit before
heading home through prairies;
he lived in the shadow of mountains
where Howthorne trees showed
their small red berries in the beezy
and pleasant days of early autumn!
He found a hawk who had injuried
wings and showed him his kindness;
hunter and predator became friends,
their boldness could scare a bear.
On his hunting days Akecheta carried
a red-tailed hawk on his shoulder
for guidance, hoping to find a fawn
to take home to feed his family!
Ackecheta hunted for rabbits and deer,
their meats were so tasty and tender;
there's was no scarcity of food:
either be buffalos, nuts or berries.
America was already blessed by God
before Europeans came to conquer;
was the God of the Sioux kinder than
that of the adventurous pioneers?
Ackecheta never saw a beautiful ocean
with shrieking seagulls flying overhead...
only mountains that he called canyons.
He loved the majestic Roughlock Falls,
but he cried when he saw the newcomers
cut down all the tallest Quaker aspens:
had he tried to stop them with angry
screams, he would have been killed!
Written on 6/12/2017