Best Sweeties Poems
Marshmallows, when I was a kid
I'd eat a whole bag, and I did
I felt like a winner
but ruined my dinner
and hid when my mum flipped her lid.
When I see those things now, white and pink
I look at those sweeties and think
my God, they were sickly
I'd turn pale so quickly
and then I'd throw up in the sink.
176th Feb 2016
For contest 'Two lenses', sponsor Sara kendrick
John Wulf, with his funny Limerick antics telling funny hilarious stories,
“viagraology
There once was a medical study
of things flapping flaccid like putty
those men given placebo
couldn’t enter gazebo
it drove the poor fellas plumb nutty
Copyright © 2015John Wulf”
but also has his very soft spot for all of us
Then there is my very favorite lady, Jan Allison, with all her humorous poems,
ANOTHER VIAGRA POEM HAS JUST POPPED UP - INSPIRED BY EVE ROPER AND JACK ELLISON
It hung so limply like Niagara
Doc told him to take some Viagra
Just one little blue pill
Gave his wife such a thrill
It sticks up so high it could stab ya
Copyright © 2015JAN ALLISON 18th July 2015
but lover her with all our hearts she is the sweeties of them all
Jack Ellison, teasing back and forth with his witty poems,
so who’s the greatest of them all,
OD'd On Viagra
Hickory, Dickory, Dock
Overdosed on Viagra, whatta shock
My wee fellow looked up
Said, “You ain't no pup!”
I cried, “This guy don't go by no clock”
Copyright © Jack Ellison 2015
But a jolly soul because his Santa Jack this year.
Then there’s our Mystic Rose that joins the group with her sense of humor;
A Little Viagra Goes A Long Way
Incline thy ear o-friend of mine
Me poor husband got it bad
He got a dicky that won't pine
Tis sad Tis sad Tis really sad
I heard yours takes Viagra pills
Malone's will not erect nor stay
and yesterday he got the shills
Just letting dicky out to play!
Would you be so kind to send
The medicine that made him sleep
I'll give my hon a pop to rend
His dicky joy, so he can weep
Few tears of joy alongside mine
Oh how my smile would shine
He got a dicky that won't pine
And that's a real bad sign...
Copyright ©Mystic Rose 7/19/2015
so much fun we have here on Poetry Soup
11/13/2015
Poetry Contest : Who Are those funny Poets
Sponsored by: Judy Konos
There's sure a lot of sweeties living amongst us
Kimmie is one, her charms make me gush
She lives far away
But we talk every day
One could say it's a long distance crush
© Jack Ellison 2015
Chewing
minty
gum
Is
Recommended
By my dentist
make sure you
buy sugar free
It is better than
eating sugary
chocolate and
candies. If you
eat sweeties
and don't brush
you can get big
caviti e s
which will need
to be filled
so
get
busy
chewing
n/a in Get into shape Contest
Sponsored by Maureen McGreavy
8/8/18
An obsession with the ladies I'll surely admit
And the sweet sexy smell these sweeties emit
Love every one
Totally come undone
When you touch my parts, it flips my switch
© Jack Ellison 2015
Chocolate Indulgences (20150129)
If I really had no choice but to divulge,
In mountains of chocolate I would indulge.
I'm not just taking about Snickers,
Reese's peanut butter cups, Butterfingers,
Or other grocery store sweeties.
I'm talking about the expensive stuff, most from oversea:
Fruit and nut bars from British Cadbury,
Milk molasses chips from local Mrs. See's,
Fudge Easter Eggs from domestic Helen Grace,
Belgian praline Sea Shells from Leonidas,
Belgian Cote D'Or bouche pralines,
And from Germany's Ritter Sport--EVERYTHING!
Wallowing in glorious chocolate, I'd be so pathetic,
If not for the fact, that I'm a diabetic.
The lines have been drawn
The battle commenced
Each voter a pawn
Each party seems tensed.
They’ve argued the topics
All blurred the same lines
We muse on our prophets
Determine our swines.
Does one vote for their country?
Or just seek our own gain
Chasing lollies quite bluntly
Causing decades of drain.
You know no sweeties from strangers
Could ever end well
But in spite of the dangers
You’re tempted to kiss and not tell.
You’ve tried to do study
Policies, farming, and crime
Snatched beliefs from some buddies
Hell research on Facebook saves time.
Days to polling have dwindled
There’s claims of rich serving up poo
Yet when the economy’s swindled
Shucks, we’d work for a tranny named Sue.
Oh how the experts do surface
Daily their ranks seem to swell
Poems and posing’s are posted
It’s social media hell.
There’s calls for compassion
Never an end to the queue
Yet when they dole out the rations
It’s from my plate to you.
So we each vote for our promise
Mine? Well it really means well
To be frank and quite honest
I hope the reds go to hell.
Cathie refers to you sweeties as Jack's ladies
But she should definitely include all me mateys
Also love youse guys
Right up to the skies
Sure a lot better than contracting rabies
© Jack Ellison 2015
In the dark dark year of 63
Britain's most gruesome murder spree
A conscious betrayal of innocence
With acts of barbarous decadence
Left five young children, in a hole, on the moor
And no one knows if there are more
For silence followed with lips shut tight
Across fifty years, day and night
The most evil couple that spurned from man
A couple with a killing plan
On a promise of puppies and sweets
He was the outright antagonist
His callous blonde lover willing to assist
While silently waiting holding his breath
With her female trust they were led to their death
Have some apples, I have kittens to stroke
And a murderous intention
To help rape and to choke
On a promise of puppies and sweets
All of these children totally perplexed
Forced to engage in unnatural sex
Then pose for nude pictures before being raped
With all of this heinous so casually taped
Then bludgeoned to death with insatiable force
The boot of a car and onto the moor
A cold wet grave for the body of a child
On a hostile moor, windswept and wild
On a promise of puppies and sweets
Tortured and bludgeoned with axe and with scorn
No pretty flowers nor graveyard for mourn
Outrageously thrown in a hole on the moor,
Where they lay undiscovered for a score year or more
Come little one, come follow me
Come see the puppies, come now and see
I have sweeties and apples and playthings for you
And a callous intention, to end your life, too
As the killers closed their eyes to the gore
On a promise of puppies and sweets
This is the tale of Britain's worst crime
This could not happen, well not at this time
But happen it did and a nation left reeled
As five innocent children lay dead in a field
Continuous silence continues today
Where children are buried, they would not say
As they danced on a grave and took photographs
With Myra so happy, so happy she laughed
Ian looked so proud as he stared at the floor
With a freshly dug patch of a huge hostile moor
That had no divining line, where the land and sky meets
On a promise of puppies and sweets
Both of these monsters spent a long time in a cell
Until the devil welcomed them, to join him in hell
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
Deservingly so, that is the truth
What am I thankful for?
As I lay here my mind searches
Afraid of waking up
it lurches
Vacilating within
the folds of my covers and brain
Trying to return
to my slumber again
Attempting to hang on
to my infinite creativity
That partial sleepiness
and rapid eye activity
Wiping my eyes
I'm partially awake
Giving heavy hands and legs a shake
Thankful for the hard decisions
I've been forced to make
The people in my space
who are real and not fake
So I ponder the breadth of my life
Sharing it with the love of my life
My sweeties tongue never cuts like a knife
She's my best friend
lover confidant and wife
The gift of family without the pretend
A life and future
Not a desolate dead end
I never expected
To find myself here
I used to loath
what I seen in the mirror
Now in God's Grace
I have nothing to fear
Now I am older
Feeling more content
My thoughts flow freely
I'm not bogged down in cement
Thinking the things I think
Now I can say what I meant
No longer linear
My thoughts can be bent
So I thank God
for an open mind
Knowing what it mean's
to open the blinds
If a man searches
he'll be surprised by what he finds
Love health and time
Should never be wasted
Food, touch and moments
are gifted to be tasted
Give more then you take
Your heart will be sated
Forget about comparisons
They are way over rated
Ambition and stuff
A poor substitute for living
Those who are take take taking
Have forgotten about the giving
Blessings change to curses
Not the place to go
Instead I want thankful
It helps my heart to grow
Richard Lamoureux
Written October 12th 2015
Contest Judged October 25th 2015
Trashed # 3 sponsor Broken Wings
Wur in RE an the nuns are gien
oot sweeties, fur getting the kweschins right.
Three oota three, then she’s askin mae who Jesus’ mither is.
‘Ah doan’t know sista,’ ah tell hur.
She isnae happy an tells mae tae hink aboot it. So ah dae
an ah wurk oot Jesus wis god. It wis a trick kweschin,
‘he didnae hiv ah mither.’ Ma
sweet stoats aff the side ae ma heid.
She’s spittin in ma coupon fur a name, an
diggin hur digits in ma neck.
‘Ah doan’t know who Jesus’ friggin mither wis!’
Miraculously ah float tae the front ae the cless. Ma haun’s oot,
bit ah doan’t hink shill hit mae wae that big stick. Thwack!
Ah look doon it the bloody gash through ma puddlin
eyes, ‘yoo’ve broke ma haun’ ah croak,
then turn roon an boak.
I have in my possession an object I really prize.
It belonged to two guys whom I really idolize.
'Twas a necessary device when straight razors were the fad.
'Tis the leather razor strop used by my Grandpa and Dad.
Its precise genesis is really difficult to gauge,
But it's certainly well over a century old in age.
It shows the scars as they went to all the trouble,
To hone their razors to rid their mugs of stubble!
I can picture them as young swains shaving before the mirror,
With a steady hand trying not to nick an ear.
With a brush and soap to apply lather to their face,
Later to meet their sweeties decked out in ribbons and lace!
Now I never thought of a razor strop in relation to education,
But Mom found a novel use for it much to my mortification.
When I became rowdy and tended not to mind,
That cold, hard strop was generously applied to my behind!
I will pass the old strop along to a subsequent generation,
With vivid tales of Mom's expertise in its application!
This only to add to family knowledge and lore,
But to use on tender behinds never, never more!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Hello you sweeties and you guys too
Hope you all have a fantastic day
It's the fervent wish I wish every day
Us Soupers must stay close I say
Support each other when we feel down
We're all susceptible to this quirk
Always look on the bright side of life
Don't worry if it's only a smirk
Gotta start somewhere, maybe a smirk
Soon you'll be giggling away
Greeting everyone with a cheery hello
Wishing them a sunshiny day
Attitude's the key, gotta think positive
To get through our daily routine
You guys help put a smile on my face
When your names pop up on my screen
Want you to know how much you mean
I'd be lost without your kind words
So a hug and a kiss to all you sweet peeps
You make me a happy old bird
© Jack Ellison 2014
This year I will lose weight I do think
No matter how hard too I will shrink
But what shall I not eat
I don’t like anything sweet
This year I won’t lose weight I do think…
No cakes pass my lips no sweeties I eat
I eat some fish and a little red meat
What do I let go west
Perhaps a tighter vest
Will help the fat to slip down to my feet…
No luck I tried, my vest is now too wide
I tuck it into my pants at the side
That made them unsightly
There’s no more twice nightly
Hoist them as a sail, and leave on the tide…
My new years wishes and hopes are now gone
We have not even reached day number one
I am paying the toll
For each nice sausage roll
My hopes and man, have set sail in the sun…
My vest sailed out to sea, now what shall I do?
My chest in the winter perhaps will turn blue
If you have an idea
You can whisper it here
There may be something to keep warm we can do…
© ~GG~ 28/12/2012
Entry For G Rix's Limerick In my Pocket contest
Electricity is in the air
as the wind kiss skin and tease hair
and Red and Gold leaves float
to the ground
as the little squirrels scurry around
Autumn is here
Pumpkin patch field trips
as apples are dipped in candy
with caramel and buttered popcorn
and savory turkey legs at this year's state fair
laughing on
hay rides and carving pumpkins
while eating pumpkin pie
sitting near a bonfire as the smoke stings our eyes
Autumn is here.
Ghost tales whispered
and
marshmallows roasted
while sipping hot apple-cider
giving sweets to the sweeties knocking at our door
exclaiming "TRICK OR TREAT"
and
"MAY WE HAVE MORE"
Autumn is here.
Families gathered together
seated from great to least
with humble head's bowed
in blessed thanksgiving
as a kingly feast delight senses
and conjure up images of the next season
Autumn is here.