Best Stinky Poems
Oh, how I loved my little teddy bear
although I don’t recall from whom he came
or when I first laid eyes on him or where;
I only know I chose for him his name.
Yes, Pinky Winky’s name was like my own,
a playful silly nickname “Andy Pandy,”
and also in his ear a bell was sewn;
I jingled him and thought he was quite dandy.
Everywhere with me went Pinky Winky
until he met sad fate with one cruel splash.
He fell into the toilet and got stinky.
I wailed when Mother threw him in the trash.
Alas! The pink imposter in his place
no jingling made nor had dear “Winky’s” face.
Our memories can be aroma-based...
at times not stoked by customary kind.
What some may find offensive, flee in haste,
to others stirs up pleasure in the mind.
Especially when memories are formed
in very young, they often leave imprints
of happy times instilled with smells that warm
to trigger them again with pungent hints.
When in a barn at some country event,
my hubby happily admits with glee,
that he enjoys the stinky barnyard scent...
brings back the fun on farm with family.
To each his own with sweet or stinky smell...
for either one...the memory will tell.
Sandra M. Haight
~8th Place~
Premiere Contest: Stink
Sponsor: Anthony Slausen
Judged: 10/04/2016
There’s a fungus among us
It’s funky no doubt.
It’s creepy, it’s crawly
and I’m quite put out.
Tennis shoes, Gym shoes,
Golf and football cleats.
Snow shoes, walking shoes,
rain shoes and sleets
Running shoes, Sunday shoes
Bedroom shoes galore
All strung out and stinky
In your room on the floor
© Mar 11 2010 Charles Henderson
A poor little boy named Stinky McGee.
His problem, he'd fart whenever he'd pee.
His Mama fed him beans.
And you know what that means.
He was worried he'd fart the kind you'd see.
There once was a magician in Vegas,
who needed a flat more spacious,
the bunny from his hat,
was peculiarly fat,
stinky farts from carrots were contagious!
Rhyme Scheme: A-A-B-B-A
Date Written: February 20, 2016
An Old Goat in a boat rowed off shore.
He caught perch in his search and much more.
So full was his boat,
there's trout in his coat
Eau de fish was his scent evermore!
a/a/b/b/a 9/9/6/6/9
anapest meter
You're my little stubby pug,
So stubborn, so smug,
Snore so loud in our bed,
Acting like you're never fed.
You trot like you're so tough,
Then cover me with pug kisses,
Then you sleep on my feet,
So tired and so listless.
That big black face,
Those beautiful brown eyes,
You're an angel when you're hungry,
But a devil in disguise.
A perfect curly tail,
You walking slower than a snail.
But we must confess,
We'll never love you any less.
Everyday you grow cuter,
Even sometimes neurotic,
Remember our little saying?
That Mugsy's so psychotic??
There will never be another,
Pug like you in this lifetime,
I will always love you stinky,
You will always be mine.
Feet
Feet stink
Feet stinking
Foot odor bad now
Shoes off odor penetrates air
Odor flows gradually around room uncomfortable
Odor flows gradually around room very uncomfortable someone please grab the Frebreze
Stinky Skunk
Black, white furry skunk
Encounter sprayed accident
Sprayed again your fault
By Eve Roper 3/1/2015
Bunnies Bidet
Believe me or not when I say,
my bunny has had a rough day-
He pooped on his blankie,
now his cage smells rankie,
now bunny sleeps on my bidet!
Syllable Count: 8-8-6-6-8
howmanysyllables.com
October 13, 2016
As I look down, I see stinky feet
So pudgy yet so sweet
I made a comment that made you blush
At that moment I knew I had a crush
The whole day I was laughing and giggling
Everytime I looked at you my heart began singing
Everytime I look into your eyes
My stomach seems to grow butterflies
Having late nights over the phone
I then knew our friendship had grown
So georgeous and yet so true,
These are just some reasons of why I love you
Go away!
Go away!
Shoo, shoo, shoo!
I don’t like skunks
You smell
Peeeeuuuw!
My neighbor, Pete, is very frustrated
For two weeks he has been constipated
Then, in Poetry Soup
I heard him yell, "Whoop Whoop!"
His laxative had been activated!
He eats spicy food and lot of legumes
Where he shows up, a gaseous cloud looms
Pete is kinda kinky
When he makes a stinky
He likes breathing in his odorous fumes
Beth's twenty years married to Pete Cooper
When he didn't flush, she said a blooper
Pete left a huge floater
And now I will quote her,
"Pete's poops always leave me in a stupor!"
One time dumbass Pete clogged up his commode
After his bowels dropped a giant load
Beth called in a plumber
Who was even dumber
He just watched as the toilet overflowed
Pete's a n a l gases continue to leak
Can't stand being around them cause they reek
When his farts are expelled
I threaten a butt weld
To solder it shut, Pete is such a freak!
No one sits near Pete at the town meeting
No friendly smiles does he get in greeting
People are of like mind
Beware of his behind
When his flatulence keeps on repeating
Beth's face becomes twisted into a scowl
She told Pete that she's throwing him the towel
Next time his fecal matter
Is 'neath the lid in splatter
She'll not clean his crap stains again. They're foul!
She won't wash skid marks from his briefs either
Nor cook bean casseroles for him neither
Beth's taken a firm stand
Gave Pete a reprimand
She's hoping that soon he'll want to leave her
Outside with one shoe
The shoe I took from the dumpster
My hair is filled with flies
Oh do I stink
Brown flames comes up from my butt
Flies come by my way
They all die
Oh do I stink
Never in life was I applause for my smell
Can it be that bad
I guess so
Since everyone has abandoned me
My teeth so rotten
It scares the mirron into broken pieces
Yellow as a my grandmother big toe nail
Stink bomb comes my way
I can't hold it in
I let in the air
BOOOOM
Everyone dies
But me
Oh do I stink
Diverticula pits up her colon
Can’t eat much or intestines get swollen
Ma's farts are so stinky
She swears with her pinky
Ain’t gonna stop her from goin’ bowl’n
Ma, gran, and Fran’s bowling tournament
I sat far knowing their predicament
Fran’s blasts were the loudest
Best bowler and proudest
It’s never again and that’s permanent