Best Statistics Poems
Statistics never lie.
The indecisive coconut just hung.
He waited and waited,
swayed a little
in the tropical breeze
but just hung.
A big fat tourist
in loud Hawaiian shorts
strolled by.
The indecisive coconut decided.
He dropped...
and missed.
It split in two
on the hard stony ground.
The coconut tree glanced down,
sighed,
and thought,
no point crying over spilt milk.
There will be other tourists.
After all,
one hundred and fiffty
is a big number.
Statistics never lie.
The best way to see variation
is computing a standard deviation.
But variance is preferred
By all the non-nerds
Who can't do a rootification.
gotta hurry, little time for chatter
not on-deck, always the current batter
pendulum swinging at a hastened pace
as if existence were a non-stop race
skip over letters go straight for the words
type of education most find absurd
continue to grind no matter how stressed
pushing onward, no need to stop and rest
haunted by thoughts, being chased by the past
knowing that nothing here ever long lasts
forever shifting gears without a clutch
as if evolution were in a rush
armed with statistics most find mind-numbing
crashing head-on into what's forthcoming
Hard Time With Statistics
People had hard time believing latest statistics
Made by morons who must be marvelous mystics
All of the relationships with everything is inverted
What is disturbing is distorted and perverted.
Some whose census was taken were way over 65
And was said they had new born babies still alive
Here is one that aroused me and my curiosity grew
Was a family full of girls that totaled twenty-two.
What we also heard when money people were saving
Children who they had were always mis-behaving
When people went on various voyages on a vacation
Husband could't stand it and was found on sedation.
There are those mean men who are fully grown
Whose wives quickly forced them to live all alone
Because of all the totally bad things they had done
When their census was taken lived in a family of one.
Another thing had attracted me as well as allured
Up most of the strange statistics had been doctored
They were also asked a question about majority rule
And they were found to be a fool bearing a loose tool.
Now here is when I really would get extremely excited
They wanted me to be a census taker and I was invited
And luckily I discovered you strictly had to be a man
When they said I had to be a Republican away I ran.
If you can't laugh at all at least you can smile a little.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
RiverSea Plantation
Bolivia, NC
And guess what? This is my first poem exceeding 2,000
which is quite an accomplishment if I don't say so myself.
It’s like this you see
9 0ut of 10 cat owners
like a little kitty (apparently I'm not allowed to use p y - how droll)
4out of 5 dog owners
like a bit of ruff
but only 4 out of 8 horse riders
like to mount a filly
50% of everything is only
half of what’s available
and 100% of most things is
far too much to handle
remember though with just 1 other
you can’t be in the minority
Q.E.D.
How frustrating that single words are censored. Not words like kill, maim, stab,
torture, abuse, death, hate though. Once again, violence triumphs over mild
innuendo
I see statistics in my home,hate grown.And love not left alone.I see a rock in a hard
place,rats trapped in a maze.HATE,HATE,pain and depression.People who never heed to a
lesson.Mistake after mistake,enough pain to break a happy home.And so the happy is
gone.Seems pain is here to stay,and poetry is my only get away.I see a man a women here
for their seeds,trying hard...not meeting needs.Leaving all 4 of us with pain,with shame
and blame on why they're lives ended like this and ours had to begin in sh!t.Mom asking
herself.Is this it?all that life's giving me?Dad fearing amputation up to the knee.An
unsure future for my sister Bre.And me...the last of the branches on the family tree.For
right now my visions of the future are entrapped in these shadows,all my strength lost in
each days battle.But if i must leave this tree and be...just me.You will all see these
shadows won't follow me for long,i am not weak i was made strong.I will not regret but
still move on.Success is my destination,how dare anyone tell me it isn't!!!!!!!!!!!I WILL
NOT remain in this prison!The first in the family who will not be a statistic.
"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,"
Israel's war crimes, a brutal truth..
The statistics are glaring and growing more bleak.
One thousand Gaze an children killed every week..
Fathers in anguish, mothers drown in their tears,
their babies now gone before their first year..
Every fifteen minutes a child killed in their blast,
while one in four are starving now, some eating only grass.
For those that survive while in harms way, are losing
their limbs as the bombs splay.
12,000 innocents, undeserving of their fate,
while the rest of the world just watches and waits..
47% of Gaza's population are children.
In the human equation,
life's reduced to statistics.
It's the patterns that matter,
zero or one, on or off.
Confronting indifference,
fear festers into anger.
And gnawing pangs of hunger
force the soul to question sin.
As lechery deals in flesh,
hypocrisy sets the price.
And a substitute for love,
lust is an expensive dish.
Reality demeans dreams
while embracing fantasy.
And buries encrypted truths
waiting to be deciphered.
Genetically linked, we're
individually cast.
Yet our programmable lives
are governed by statistics.
Victorian art is quite clean
Though Roman and Greek are obscene
The Queen did not care
That David was bare
But he was quite shy of the mean!
coping just for a purpose
rusting revealing the truth
a new coat of paint never helps
however i become emotionally addicted
i remember when smiles on four walls was the art we chose
when the foundation of the paint weakened with time, so did the symbolism of our love
we became antiheroes in the form of thematic failure
we allowed that to be our smiling front and our welcoming back
we never asked forgiveness for we knew not the particular definition
we were liars without admittance to admitting
as a result, we aged at a more rapid pace
genetics defied us, but we too were defiant by unified choice
God has a way of structuring by way of emphatic emphasis
nevertheless we let the devil break through....therefore becoming unfortunate pockmarked examples
statistics can't always predict future outcomes ~ only time will tell
HONOR in Death ?
Disgraced victory.
Lost life...last breath...
still warm on soft lips.
Glassy eyes cloud.
Tears fade away.
Trembling fingers
touch a face.
Cheek bones...
those dimples,
that nose
oh, the chin.
Eyebrows...long lashes,
what a BEAUTIFUL face.
Close the lids slowly.
Tears fade away.
TV channels change.
Mothers CRY and embrace
a lifeless body.
Child of crossfire...
NINE
maybe TEN.
A gang.
Then blame.
Retribution takes place.
The broadcast continues,
another innocent LOST.
No time for FEAR...
Neighbors on watch.
Reports - information
policeman in blue.
LOOK in the distance,
an I D is made.
STOP POLICE !
Dogs on the Loose !
Suspect caught in midflight.
News Flash...ARRESTED.
Praise the Lord,
Hear our prayers...
keep our children
SAFE tonight.
Warm breath
on soft lips
the TEARS FADE AWAY.
statistics say they're checking out at twenty two per day
closure seekers on their final quest
hollow men who don't have time to slowly fade away
side by side they've occupied the chairs of the V. A.
trying pills in hopes of filling hollows in their chest
statistics say they're checking out at twenty two per day
families they left behind in mental disarray
the vacant stares, the secrets close to vest
hollow men who don't have time to slowly fade away
finding solice in a bottle is another bill they pay
their prayers have gone unanswered, their questions unaddressed
hollow men who don't have time to slowly fade away
they find too few distractions to make it through the day
at night they find in sleep there is no rest
hollow men who don't have time to slowly fade away
statistics say they're checking out at twenty two per day
Human beings are natural mystics.
And irrational characteristics
often lead us astray,
keeping logic at bay.
Satan tempts us with facts and statistics.
Bang Bang.
You're dead.
One in the heart,
And one in the head.
Bang Bang.
Another one down.
Smiling faces,
Turn into frowns.
Bang Bang.
A third and a fourth.
Deal with it world,
Because this is war.
Bang Bang.
It's my turn now.
I bleed so slowly.
I die so slowly.
Agony.
Sorrow.
Another casualty.
Another statistic.
Bang Bang.
Bang......