Best Spritz Poems
Written: December 07, 2023
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An art display with free and delightful assets,
Blemishes and brightness of nature are blatant
Confusingly gorgeous and full of magic and wonder
Digging deep down the dictum draws a drain.
Earth apex joins the sky peak to heal man's soul
Fathom thrills in its primal vogue as chaos
Gorgeous greenery coiled in your rippling blade
Hobble with a brisk ember for fall indulgence
It seems that nature is the most visually enticing.
Jewel blooms in a savored indigo whisk breeze
Kissing spite swirled, swaying spritz and sunlight
Levitate into the hills tidings; peace will reach you,
Mercurial avian melodies mingled in a zephyr swell.
Numb tears as marigolds sprout in the dawning sun
Observe nature in a gladsome way and appreciate it
Parasol arose in the blissful glory of glorious wile
Quintessence infuses both lost and found creations.
Remember, when the seasons alter and rain falls,
Sunshine and steel drum bands hug periwinkle sky.
Tender, rich maple-scented trees swirl with the wind
Uncork while chirping with birds to relieve stress
Vegetal forms decay, die, or are rudimentary.
Wail with a willow whisper whisked wind wilting
Xenoliths lack implies peridotite-eclogite connect
Yodeling, bird song disguise, and stage presence
Zenith inhales, exhales, fresh air renews your spirit.
As you see we have no Febreze
Butt cover your smell if you please
Just spritz three or four times
Then release by design
and the next person won't say "Jeeze!"
Used to be I got haircuts for two bits,
Along with a shave and hair tonic spritz,
From the barber bawdy jokes
Juicy gossip from town blokes!
Now for twelve bucks a clip is all I gits!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Glitter, Glamour, Glitz and Spritz
Shimmer and Sparkle, oh how we marvel at all the Ritz
It's a Holiday Fest At Its Best!
Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Spiritual...
whatever your ritual, it's time to reflect, reconnect
and rejoice to be alive and revive our souls and minds
This is an awe inspiring, rejuvenating time!
Holiday songs and singalongs
messages to keep a song in our hearts
not just in December, but everyday to remember...
regarding Love, Forgiveness and Re-inventive Starts!
Now on to food, do you know what tastes good?
EVERYTHING*
There is so much to choose...
any mouth watering decadence
embraces my stomach a happy resident,
I look forward and I bet you do too!
A Fruit Cake in a Decorative Tin Bin...
Well, Ya' Know...
That's Optional! (SMILE)
What is it
that makes us put labels on ourselves?
Many of my friends are Hispanic or Latino Americans
each might say they are the diverse cultured Americans,
still holding on and speaking their native language.
A few of my friends are Black or Afro-Americans,
few claim they are African Americans since they were born here,
my best friend Tammy just says she's a proud black woman and she is.
Three or four Muslim, Islamic and Pakistanis, India Americans
live across the street and are good neighbors
but speak English American in my presence.
One or two are Native Americans, and native Hawaiians are relatives
acquaintances proud and openly revealed
while still embracing their history.
A neighbor is Chinese American, another Korean, Asian Americans
who practice the customs of their land of origin
with ceremonies and foods reminding them of home.
Some family members are from England, Brits,
a few cousins are Danes, some from Norway and Sweden,
they simply say, they are now Americans.
I am second generation Irish, Polish, Russian and a spritz Italian American,
some might say a conglomerate,
well blended, a European, White American.
I don't see it that way, discarding the prefixes, whatever they be -
I am humble and proud to be me, myself
an American
and that is enough to be proud of.
When in swanky restaurants, 'tis easy to daintily dine on cordon bleu,
But dining on lobster requires deft finesse without humiliating you!
For what its worth, I offer the following that I've learned o'er the years,
To show snobbish waiters you're really not all that wet behind the ears!
First of all, a wizened waiter will provide a bib if he's really on the job.
(Somehow, they perceive right away that you are a rather artless slob!)
When cracking open each morsel, some violent squirting may occur!
Should juice spritz the guy at the next table simply say, "Sorry sir"!
The hapless lobster is dissected in certain order to make the meal complete.
First, remove the claws, crack the shell with a claw cracker and remove the meat.
For this a fork is provided, then discard the shells in a bowl being discreet!
Next, twist the tail from the body and break off the flippers - those you musn't eat!
And now for the piece de resistance, that long anticipated holy grail,
(That you paid fifty-five bucks for!) - that scrumptious lobster's tail!
Insert a lobster fork into the flesh and gently ease it out of the shell.
(Sucking meat from the legs is optional - on that matter I will not dwell!)
A female lobster might contain a bit of roe considered a delicacy by some.
(If that is your fancy, quietly asking about the lobster's sex is the rule of thumb!)
Plunge lobster pieces in butter taking care not to let it run down your arm!
(Leaving a sizeable tip for the disaster you've created wouldn't do any harm!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Beauty from the Inside-Out
We have searched for unfading and true beauty in unsearchable places.
It is unfortunately to most of us, we have ears but cannot hear-we have eyes but we cannot see
We have become nonentities due to ideas and influence that persuaded us that beauty is the outward appearance, short skirts, makeup’s, high heel shoes, hip stars and all that.
We have been fooled and still perpetuating in outer of reality,
But now I understand, that the creator of beauty, knows its purpose and he defines its source and function, This is the Beauty is from the inside-out.
You are beautiful-I see your beauty from inside–out, my African Queen, yes you are beautiful
I have searched for unfading and true beauty, from mountain to the highest mountain, from the sea to the deepest sea. The beauty that is premier and brighter to lighten my dark moments and my dark path, The beauty that can never be influenced by western cultures, civilization or globalization, the beauty of African Queen. - Original from its birth, its quality and value never diminish, It Can never be bought, neither can it be sold, it is priceless……And only attained by them that understand its source. This is the beauty from the inside-out
You are beautiful-I see your beauty from inside–out, my African Queen, yes you are beautiful
I have searched for unfading and true beauty for decades; Finally, I have arrived at its source,
You are beautiful; don’t let them lie to you, perfect as you beyond man, s imagination
Fearful and wonderfully made, divinely designed just to be you-as you are-on other
How beautiful you are! My Darling, your pure heart spritz forth to the outside,
Your heartbeat speaks the mystery language only known in the world of True Love,
Your eyes behind your veil are as white as dove’s, bringing out the message from the inside.
Your mouth speaks forth the words of healing from the inside to the broken hearted. Your lips drop sweetness and entice me to deep heavenly kisses. Milk and Honey are under your tongue; Your legs describe the pillars of joy to my soul. Your body is like polished Ivory-decorated with diamond and gold, Oh My love, Oh my love-you have the beauty from the inside-out.
You are beautiful-I see your beauty from inside–out, my African Queen, yes you are beautiful
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When you have fallen fast asleep,
I'll crawl toward your hall and creep
out through your door...
Advancing quickly through the gloom,
I'll prance into your living room
and as you snore,
I'll pulverize your rug and purr,
while sizing up your Douglas fir,
and when I...
LEAP!
I'll dangle ever frantically,
until each spangle from your tree
is in a HEAP!
I'll SLASH your floppy socks's toes
and GNASH your boxes tops's bows
in savage bites!
Then lift, at last, my pretty tail
and spritz a blast of 'Kitty Male"
...to wreck your lights!
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When I glanced out my window on this bleak December morn,
My eyes were drawn to the Ponderosa Pine standing so forlorn.
Gradually, as if decorated by God's own Artistic Hand,
'Twas soon bedecked with colorful ornaments so very grand!
Its boughs were adorned by garlands of snow in jeweled display.
Crystal icicles glistened as no mere artist could e'er portray.
Clusters of golden cones festooned the tree here and there.
I watched in wonder as it began to assume a festive air!
What was just moments ago a tree, brooding and austere,
Was soon alive with critters that chose to winter here.
Cheerful robins added a spritz of color with their scarlet breasts.
Haughty blue jays flitted about flaunting their bluish crests!
A couple of squirrels sprawled upon a branch lazily a-snooze.
Cardinals and bluebirds roosted there adding their delightful hues.
Flitting finches and chickadees graced the tree without cease.
At the very top perched a dove - that beautiful symbol of peace!
What a wonderful transformation I witnessed in that stalwart tree!
I'd like to think that the Creator decorated it just for me!
As I gazed upon the scene, my soul was filled with jubilation,
Marveling at the miracle of Christmas and God's wondrous Creation!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Slide your quarters, grab the hose.
(Point away from eyes and nose.)
Power spray to loosen dirt;
One more time now wouldn't hurt.
Grasp the soap brush - scrub that foam;
Top to bottom - almost home.
Coat the roof if you have wet it;
If you're short - well, just forget it.
Timer's ticking - spritz some water.
Uh oh - better add a quarter.
Watch those suds as they come pooling;
Almost done, but who you fooling?
Though the car looks slightly better,
Mostly it's just much much wetter!
Again, 'tis that glorious season of the year,
For sharin' love and spreadin' holiday cheer!
Time for my dear spouse to begin her ever-lovin',
Bakin' of toothsome delicacies in her trusty oven!
Some of Grandma's recipes are used in this enterprise,
'Specially the one for her scrumptious pecan pies!
She bakes a fruit cake of which I'll taste just a tittle,
But I'll sure sink my choppers into lots of peanut brittle!
An elaborate Victorian gingerbread house is created,
And cakes so soaked in rum I'll surely be inebriated!
There are spritz cookies of every size and shape.
Calories abound in the penuche over which I go ape!
A Yule tradition is a cookie call snickerdoodles.
Of these and pralines I can eat oodles and oodles!
Aromas waftin' about the house nearly drive me daffy,
As she makes cookies, walnut fudge and molasses taffy!
I'm allowed the bliss of the pots and pans to scrape,
But beyond that from the kitchen I must escape!
To sample all that stuff my palate is just itchin',
But I'm unceremoniously invited out of the kitchen!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Welcome to Gutter Ball Saloon
Where careful words waft through the tavern;
Serpentine swirls with evil intentions.
Watch your step and pocketbook.
Observe the chap in the derby hat.
No, the other one.
No, the other one…with the honeycomb vest.
That singular sap is one of kind.
Or one of ten; a soldier-still pin at full attention
Standing in formation on the glossy maple
Eager to be wrecked, toppled head-over-heels.
Spare.
He’s been gassed, you see.
Some fancy bouquet of honey perfume
Mingled with cheap cigars and one too many.
He’s feeling lucky and takes a gamble.
Throws in his hand and a couple of dice for good measure.
Snake eyes!
Just look at that dame.
Her dark velvet accentuated physique
Candy apple lips that drip pearls
A string of words she drapes about his neck
Intoxicatingly beautiful.
The phrasing…and she’s a bit of a looker too.
A real up-and-comer with a knack for bowling.
Spare.
A quick spritz and yank of the string.
I dare you to look away.
He’s choking…but of course he is.
He never had a chance in that bowler hat.
Just look at those red cheeks.
Flush.
She’s got him by the balls.
Snake eyes.
Now if you’ll look closely…
I’ve got your wallet.
Strike!
4/26/15
Recipe For My Poetry:
! Cup of release from reality
2 tbsps of too much time on one’s hands
As many cups of McDonald’s coffee you wish
So easy! No pots and no pans…
A generous pinch of ego
A lot of long lost dreams
Some healthy bites of breakfast burrito
Not a lick of respect and self-esteem…
1/2 cup of feeling of failure
4 shot glasses of Tennessee Honey
Smidgeon of feeling of being put out to pasture
Mixed lightly with a minimum of money…
A dollop of overblown sentimentality
A handful of memories and loss
A pinch of penance and a spritz of banality
Add a bit of joy…at never having a boss…
Stir in with a grin, lots of rainbows and sunshine
Blend in memories of days warm and sunny
Don’t skimp a bit when adding red wine
And don’t forget… 6 shots of Tennessee Honey…
Blend these ingredients all into one
Then pour them all into an open mind
Then set it aside…til you think that it’s done
Might want to moisten it, with a bit more red wine…
Dust it a bit with some cinnamon and cynicism
Make sure it’s firm…not too dry or runny
If it doesn’t measure up to your very own criticism
Just moisten it up with another cup
…Of good ol’ Tennessee Honey…
I’m not sure
I have the strength anymore
To be discovered
Stepping into the cold black lake of February
Clopping to work in frozen slop
Snow snarling at my ankles
Car coughing
Windshield gritting its white teeth
I wear a body double of fur curved
Like a polar beast on my back
Then the Voice of the Turtle whispers…
And sprinklers spritz in a mist of sunrise
And rows of palm trees unfold as a breezy outfield fence
Blue sky a homerun boundary
Free to swing away you can’t miss
Buckets of baseballs flung to the green sea
Leather-gloved squids
Eight kids per position
Waiting their ground balls and pop flies
Legend to rookie 60 feet and 6 inches from the big show
Chin skimmed and bum chapped with red dirt
Tip of hat flattened to home plate
Get up swing back at that
Unfamiliar crack of doubt
Deep from winter inside you.
A hot sun is a bird perched on the bill of your cap
#10 Numi eternal rookie in us all
Spread your wings and fly to Detroit
The Old English D forever on your chest.
With the fragrance of immaculate scents
And halos of cherubic hues around;
Divine thoughts whirl inside me and I vent
Sanguine words that unroll knowledge abound
Glimpses of angelic souls I perceive
Who nudge and empower the wilting mind
Tunes of euphoric rhythms I receive
Which make my unamiable heart kind
Betrayal, here is an outlandish deed
Abhorrence, I have never confronted
With generous minds, also unblunted
Wise people here, spritz gently, largesse seeds
A day I spent in this idyllic place
And so an abiding bliss, I embrace