Best Sauces Poems
Love me or hate me
few people can take me
plain, unadulterated, true to myself
their compulsive need to gussy me up
or completely disguise me
gives me nightmares...
Horrible- horrible!
The worst is where
they try to make me
Savory.
Suffocated in sauces, sweet relish
and pickled beets
garnished with green olives
and fussy-cut vienna sausages
all dancing in fancy chorus lines
on top of me
Oh No! I can't take it...
It just can't be!
What are they thinking?!
I awake with a snug sensation
as something warmish
drapes and
drizzles
down my back
AAAAAHHH!
Caramel sauce-
Thank God!
Thick or thin, it is the Friday night order in special,
Supreme or meat lovers delight, whatever toppings
You like it, does not matter for it’s
The all American favorite, Pizza!!
Roll out that dough, cover it with Italians specialty
Sauce, cheese me to please me, I’ll never get enough,
I’m simply addicted to this deep dish pan delicious stuff.
Cut me no single slice, for more, more, more,
Is the thunderous roar of my mighty hungering’s
Rumbling, within my tummy, for what Pizza!!!
Circled or squared, just roll that pizza cutter of
Portions pleasure, pick up your slice and allow
That thick cheese to pull apart naturally,
Then bite into Nirvana, for this is heavens
Perfection guaranteed by the slice.
Now the frozen microwave style may work in a pinch,
Delivery or the hot and ready special can satisfy
My personal hunger glitch, for that tasty pizza pie,
As long as can get it, I’m satisfied.
Oh grant me one pleasures sinful command to break
Dearest lord above, to indulge myself, and stuff
Myself with pizza, pizza until I burst, for gluttony is
One distractions fault I have dear father, when it
Comes to this circle food, as it spins on the nightly
Commensals boob tube.
Is it not against the law to hide messages within
Certain text, because I swear these advertisers
Know our fragile human weaknesses, late at night
For this delectable substance, called what
Pizza, if I haven’t mentioned it enough,
Yummy, yum, yum old chum.
It’s the party hardy mid-night special, on all
Channels of the United States of America,
There is no doubt of this, rock my world
In flavorful old time favorite, dude I’m
With you all the way, especially on a
Friday night.
This is my declaration of independence
Declared in Italian sauces redden stainy ink,
Give me Pizza or give me death, just kidding
Folks, by the way do you want that last
Pizza slice, I’m not quite full yet, lol.
BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN
Okay,
first for an appetizer
I'd like an O-ring basket
and a pound of shrimp.
Cook those things crispy,
so when I take a bite
they burn my upper lip.
A 22 ounce tumbler
filled with beer to the brim.
Oh,
you want one too,
okay,
make that two!!
For dinner,
I would like to order fifty wings,
along with twenty four boneless.
mix those sauces please,
hot, sweet bbq, medium,
no blazin'!!
I'll end up on my knees!!!
Throw in some celery and
blue cheese,
combined,
I want thirteen
Tell the expediter,
I want my wings crispy,
he knows me!!!
I want a basket of fries
two orders chips and a wedge,
A B-dubs ranch wrap
and a refill from the tap!!!
You get all that???
Jared Pickett
2/1/2010
Asavvy1
Pineapple pizza with pink pepperoni,
Buffalo wings and brown guacamole,
Little dead fishes in sour cream sauces,
Onions and garlic and greasy red sausage.
Cucumber sandwiches plastered with mustard,
Lemons and limes in a yucky green custard,
Fat happy chickens less all of their feathers,
Tomatoes, potatoes, my mother's hot peppers...
These are a few of my flavorless things!
her increasing wants ergeses me
to satisfy
the need for meat
I never ask why
the gravy sauces the plate
and covers the imperfections
of potatoes mashed to accompany the meat
this meat so tender
so damn tender
the edges crisp with sweet caramelized sweetness
salted perfectly
pink the center of the funk
the plate holds all this junk
tender enough to eat with a spoon
cooked well enough to tell somebody
to come over here
and eat like I ate,
come on ya'll dig the ripe, ripe roast
chef want sum pleasing for his teasing
tip the waitress, no?
your glad bag, and sum pictures
remove the meat from yo' denture
the wine was cheat but sweet
I really enjoyed yo' sweet, sweet meat!
In our town lived a crazy old crone
with no spouse, and her kids were all grown.
Once frightened by rats,
she bought a few cats,
so no longer did she live alone.
As it turns out, the cats were so nice
that they wouldn’t attack even mice!
They wanted instead
to only be fed
yummy foods like her chicken fried rice.
At her table, the old lady set
two tall stools. Yes, that woman would let
the two cats dine with her,
wearing bibs so their fur
from the sauces would never get wet.
The old woman now lives happily
knitting clothes for her cat “family.”
While asleep on her bed,
the cats purr on her head
while the rats in the house still run free.
Jan. 14, 2018 For Line Gauthier's 'CRAZY CAT LADY: RHYME' Contest
Sitting on a pew
Grilling and skew
Cravings that streak
Gravy of the mountain peak.
Sauces and condiments laid
Sprinkled, dashed and said
Vegetables, meat and bread
Cooked, baked and knead.
Reserving, consuming energy from tree
Drinking, nibbling like spree.
Waiting for the next bonfire and gaze
Rollicking with charcoal, dust and blaze.
A shooting star from the night so dark
Oozing with smoke and might that spark
Writing your name in the dark board of chart
Weaving canvass in your heart of art.
Banana Split Heaven
I'm in Banana Split Heaven, the ice cream parlor of my dreams,
Choosing extra toppings and three flavors of sweet ice cream.
A foundation of ripe bananas, served the purpose of a bed,
For my decadent dessert, topped with cherries of bright red.
I licked my lips in anticipation. Couldn't wait to greedily savor
Huge scoops of creamy goodness in all my favorite flavors.
Chocolate Moose Tracks, blended with cups of peanut butter,
In the center, Bordeaux Cherry. Mmmm, I drool and sputter.
Vanilla Raspberry Ripple is really quite sublime.
Now it's almost ready, and soon it will be all mine.
Lots of peanut sprinkles; sauces of hot fudge and caramel.
Fresh whipped cream is sinful. Shhh, I will never tell.
Spoon after spoon, I pigged out and ate the whole dish.
Should I make one for you? Heck Yes! It sounds delish!
October 22, 2015
cat, dog, food, humor, mom, pain, summer,
I tripped over feet
My shoe laces both came undone
Slid in my 'spilled' milk
Cut my finger on broke glass
My blood now was mixed in milk!
I sat on a chair
It was much too low for me
Table top held my chin
Knees folded I knelt down below
My neck got cramped looking up!
Taking a 'soap' soak
I washed my hair in 'suds' water
Forgot to rinse 'wash'
Let the bath drain of cold water
Had to take a shower too!
I bit my finger
A huge delicious apple
Choked on pieces bitten
And swallowed a broken tooth
It left an empty hole then!
Pits are wicked on teeth
Cherry pits the worse for wear
Three cherries at once
Eaten you choke on a pit
If swallowed you then will die!
Pepper makes a sneeze
Then coughing up of chewed food
Follows up the throat
Adding 'more' to the food plate
Appetite all lost!
Close your eyes and wish
Once upon a time like 'right' now
My mom told me so
Magic will make a wish come true
Then I learnt she fibs white lies!
Cats and dogs skip rope
Jumping around up and down
When the double-dutch stops
Cat and dog hair flies about
Then the fight is done double time!
Touring on my bike
I flipped ' head over heels' and rolled
Down grassy culverts below
Upon a stinking skunk hole
Startling the homeowners there!
Belly laugh causes much gas
That builds wind into a toot
Relieving more pain
Reaching a higher stink bomb
That calls more laughter!
My peaches are very ripe
I squeezed one to check them out
Grab'n napkins and bowl
When bitten into juices pour
Sliding stickily down my chin!
Corn on the cob needs
Melted butter and wood toothpicks
Small bits catch in teeth
Cob takes two hands for chomping
All the kernels in a row!
Shaved cabbage ' coleslaw'
Sliced hamburger buns with meat
Chopped onions with sauces
Causes gall bladder heartburn pain
Trapped gasses giving 'piglet' shame!
My husband is naughty a very naughty man
He throws down the newspaper on top of his beer can
He buys himself a sandwich in a cardboard box
And puts it in the laundry with his woollen socks.
He takes off his pyjamas and chucks them on the floor
He uses hankies frequently, so I have to buy some more.
He wants to have thick sauces on top of all his food.
And when he has a hypo his speech is very rude.
I gave him such a shock when I learned to curse and swear
But we really need to,as “eff off “is everywhere.
Why, even in the Bible there are some wicked words
I’ve not read it all yet, except Psalm 23rd.
I mean to finish reading it and then when I must die,
I’ll come onto a cloud and shout,Oh pi is in the sky.
For transcendental numbers give a hint divine.
Although you can get it better with a glass of dry, white wine.
My husband drinks draught guinness and then he fall asleep
He hollers and curses when the oven timer bleeps.
He eats a piece of kipper and cried out,Oh,dear God!
Nobody caught this b*gger with a fishing rod
He wants to move to Whitby and walk upon the sands
Sit in the audience and hear the big brass bands.
He wants to see the sun rise and to see it set…
So please send God some gelatine in case the air’s too wet!
I know I do this every time I think of you
I end up with a stiff little pickle and in a flipping mess
Now I know you think it’s saucy and like to have a laugh
But I’m the one with spicy piccalilli all over my flaming lap
I relish the challenge in being a pickle in a tight squeeze
For this little pickle marinades himself in honey from a bee
You may think that a pickle and honey wouldn’t go together
But I can rest assure you they are actually the spice of life
A condiment together, and though you chutney sometimes
I always relish dipping my little pickle in your honey pot
Can’t wait to savoury spread your legs and syrup my pickle in
For honey you are the sweetest dessert that there’s ever been.
ps: If you ever need to find me I’ll be in the supermarket isle - savouries and sauces.
I love you, you’re hot, you do it for me,
You’re perfect on the inside,
All warm and soft and deliciously round,
Your belt has sort of been pied,
And you come to the footy, and also the pub,
You warm me when I am in town,
You warm me in the cold winter months,
You’re a beautiful tanned sort of brown,
And I love sploshing you with all sorts of sauces,
Covering your top in a red,
You’re better than any McDonalds Big Mac,
I think you’re better than bread,
You’re my beautiful steak to beef to chicken,
You can even be filled with lambs fry,
You’re my beautiful hand held wonderful food,
You’re my beautiful crispy meat pie.
Chef Bourdain
1956-2018
Surf and turf, a sardine in tin; will travel.
Your downward spiral
Magnanimity that whetted our appetite
Fans everywhere you excite.
Consumed the exotic and
consumed by erotic specialty dishes.
Five mother sauces to haute cuisine
Mouthwatering too obscene
You've come to your exit; I hope it’s delicious!
I celebrate you, it’s all been nutritious.
Lemons add flavor to sauces and stews
Also to meringue and cool Mountain Dew
Lemons can be served sour or sweet
Both of which can be an awesome treat
Sometimes in life lemons we are served
Can we turn it to lemon preserves?
Lemons need squeezing to give forth their best
Life needs to squeeze us so we're fit for our rest
In the eighteenth century, it made its first scene.
This is one of five main sauces in haute cuisine.
Culinary experts give credit to France,
although it may have come from the Netherlands by chance.
Just take some clarified butter, egg yolk, and lemon juice.
These simple ingredients can be put to good use.
Preparation must be performed carefully.
Over moderate heat, it is whisked constantly.
Heat in up, but not to a boil.
Too high a heat and the ingredients spoil.
The butter, juice, and egg yolk can separate.
When it is this way, it is not too great.
The sauce goes well with fish and asparagus.
However, with Eggs Benedict, it is most famous.
Many other sauces can be made with variation.
Each of them has other items in combination.
It is also a base for Sauces Mousseline and Maltaise.
With some herbs and peppercorns, you can make Sauce Bearnaise.
Replace the butter with oil, and you can make mayonnaise.
This is one of the best known sauces in the world.
It can be found no matter which flag is unfurled.