Best Sarcastic Poems
I was told I was sarcastic
But I’m not made from plastic
So I’ll say it clear and loud
Of the sarcasm I am proud
I wouldn’t be so contrite
If we did things freakin’ right
While working with eyes shut
And our nose up someone’s butt.
How could I possibly be sarcastic
When everything seems so drastic
My sarcasm is through frustration
Guess where I get my inspiration
Sarcastic? How could that be
I’m just describing what I see
Everyday I feel more dazed
But I’m also totally amazed
My headaches keep accruing
Does anyone know what they’re doing
Did I leave my mind back there
I’ve seemed to lost it somewhere
I promise I’ll watch what I say
If I see something right someday.
This rhyme may seem strange but each word's truly equal
Now Beetle's tale's done no need for a sequel.
They'd chat by the teazel of matters so lethal
Of sequels and prequels and justice so penal.
In fields green and fetal past signs with a decal
He'd meet Sheetal the Beadle who spoke of things fecal.
With eyes prehensile he'd spot every weevil
And warn all the people of dangers so evil.
This Beetle was legal though far from regal
He'd wheedle and wheeze with his diesel-powered treacle.
He found a gold needle a prize for his easel
And painted a weasel avoiding the measles.
Again there once was a beetle so feeble and small
Who lived in a steeple with people so tall^-^
And painted a weasel avoiding the measles
He found a gold needle a prize for his easel.
This Dung Beetle was again legal though far from regal
He'd wheedle and wheeze with his diesel-powered treacle
And warn all the people of dangers so evil
With eyes prehensile he'd spot every weevil
Again, he'd meet Sheetal the Beadle who spoke of more things fecal
In more fields green and fetal past signs with even more decals
Of sequels and prequels and justice so penal
They'd chat by the teazel of matters so lethal
NOW Beetle's tale's ended again no need for……….a sequel
His adventures were splendid each moment so……….regal.
This rhyme may seem strange but each word's truly equal
A lesson in language both _^_ playful and………. legal
The Dung Beetle though small had a heart brave and true
Proving size doesn't matter in all that we do.
WAS THAT A HUMMINGBIRD I HEARD HUMMING?
Have you ever watched a hummingbird hover?
Well he does that to impress his lover
There are many ways to impress someone
And every so often it’s could take a gun
I’ll tell you one way not to let love rule
And this, my friend, comes directly from a phool
One way not to impress a woman is to show her the tracks on your arm
Oh will she be impressed by your charisma and charm
Another way to avoid impressing a lovely you’ve seen
Appear untidy, unkempt and unilaterally unclean
Tell her you shower at least once a year
And she’ll be gone before you can say “you are lovely my dear”
So if you care to entice and enhance a beauty
ignore all this advise on etiquette as if it were your duty
And I tell you now the two of you won’t ever mesh
So it’s between the hover of a lover or a needle piercing your flesh
© 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~
Swimming in sarcastic seas
This is the hook,
that line I dangle out there
to catch your attention,
to tempt your appetite,
to reel you in like a poetic lure,
baiting you to read
as you swim about the site…
so where are all of the little fishies?
thanks
cute boy
that shall be left unnamed.
thanks so much
for taking up so much
space in my little head
that I can't not think about you
for more than...
well, a second
and thanks so much
for running through this mind
of mine
so much
when I lay in bed
that hours pass
as quickly as....
well as quickly as
my heart can break
and before I know it
the sun is rising
and I have not yet slept.
and thanks so very much
for becoming the subject of every
little think i write
that no other intellectual idea
can bubble to the surface of this
sometimes shallow mind.
and thanks so so much for
occupying so much room in my heart
that it hurts
when I try to remove you.
like trying to pick out pieces
of a shattered mirror
that then fell into a bowl of jello.
thanks,
it's been fun,
falling in love with you,
about as fun as a paper cut.
So sick, ashamed, tuke-deh-blaim guilty
And tired of your sarcastic comments that tease me on purpose
Really not an accidental thing in the first place
Crazy talk I do on a daily basis
Aggravated beyond reason and logic and behind-closed-pupils emotions
So afraid to change my mind about breaking up with you and making the mistake of going back together with you
Totally an incomplete work of art from the start...I adored you, Seth Art from the heart...but I'm torn apart - we are opposite isles at Walmart
I claimed and nurtured caring, affectionate sayings and lines of endless blessings and miracles that ended up being cursed and obstacles
Clever, but a deceiver...looks are awfully appealing, but what's in the inside are a billion books...left unread and left for dead instead...left on the literature bed, molding and rusting in pangs of dread that piles up in my head like debt overhead
Chillin like a villain with a tranquil mindset for a change
Oh my word, I will forgive the words you uttered and will utter ASAP
Mesmerized by your love that is for naught
Messed-up in the head mentally and emotionally...happiness and joy, like weeds that were once delight dandelions, distraughtly rot and remotely fought...a frenzied, fired-up fraught as an aftershock of oblivion's ignorance
Elegance turn to hideous results, unless you turn that around by mere coincidence altogether, which will most likely not happen, knowing you very rebellious and an uncompromising, headstrong head that is robust - but, break, it must
Never flawless and willing it all away...these thunder and rain bolts
Truly, you better not shoot me down or I'll bite the bullet and rip up that gown of galore glory and gracious glamor displayed dazzlingly, non-drastically projected on screens of hope strings that won't snap off by the single snip of the sensuous, shapeless scissors
Sanity's lines come into play the moment the insanity lies on the paper and not on my scraggly soul again...refrain from pouring your vermillion drizzle upon us and naturally, slip inside the same bumpy, rowdy bus with us for a time...there's no need to hide, subside, cuss or fuss
I have a lot of enemies
Who hate me through-and-through:
They dare to disagree with me
On what they ought to do.
They push their narrow ways on me,
And soon it may be you,
By claiming we must tolerate
Their novel point of view.
With such abundant captious foes
You’d think I’m in a fix,
But there’s no need for worrying;
I’m onto all their tricks.
Their argument won’t stand a chance;
They’ll have to take their licks,
For since they disagree with me
I know they’re dumb as bricks.
His mom always yelled at him,
" Get up, Jed and get to work;
move your lazy butt, sitting duck
and stop hanging out with Kim! "
" Wait, until I finish my gin, mom! " "
He sarcastically replied with a grim.
These silly words were shouted with contempt
by Jed, as he watched Kim play with reddish loam;
yuck! his lips smelled of Gordon's alcoholic drops!
" Let the horses get hungry and thirsty,
I need a minute to get up until dizziness stops,
I'll feed them hay, but they should roam
and eat pasture grass ..that's more healthy!"
" Do as I say, or your salary will be less than you expect! "
His angry mom brandishing a wood rolling pin,
" Get up and tend to the horses! " She ordered with disdain.
And stumbling on logs and branches
Jed complied by sticking out his moist tongue,
" I am as stubborn as a spoiled brat...
nobody can change me with tools and threats:
a cowboy's habits are hard to break like his image,
I comply and put on this straw hat! "
At an old forgotten Oriental cemetery,
half buried in the soil emerges a decomposed skull.
-nothing unpleasant, by the by-
It looks like glass when the sun whitens it.
No nose, eyes, ears or mouth;
therefore no face, no mask.
It has nothing of its own except it's veil of mourn and dust
and its eternal smile.
Its grimace might seem both tragic or blissful.
Leaving my reason apart
I said:
"There is no feature that distinguishes you especially,
you could be anyone.
Are you not the precious image
of each and all of us ?"
And the answer seemed to me
both silent but eloquent
-it couldn´t be otherwise-
Just the eternal half veiled smile
when again the skull contemplates
the worries and doubts of their living fellows.
life is weary
my eyes are teary
life gets harder every time
i guess that's why we have to rhyme
are you ready to go?
they're about to start the show...
my head is spinning round and round
waiting for this girl to be found
share- it's such an empty word
it takes flight just like a flightless bird
life will come around to scare
to you this must be new
i could tell by the way you acted
you were well distracted
it looks like a jerk's work
i'm surprised we've not all gone berserk
Sarcastic sunrise
An ode to summer's demise
Over burnt tea leaves
Arrogance, sarcasm and suggestive wit,
Some people in this world I admit,
Think is so cool and fun,
But actually in the long run,
One day they go too far, and have to quit.
Try not to cast your pearls before swine
'cause they will get cranky and surely whine
for they can not stand for Our Christ to Shine
Fret not tho, just say to them...
"Do you wanna a little cheese to go with that whine?"
And this is fine because they've crossed the line.
Now go to your Christ and have a real good Dine!
Ok, you humans down there, making wishes on us stars
with “Wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.”
Who the heck do you people think you are?
Why are you writing poems all the time like “Star Light, Star Bright”?
Of COURSE, we’re bright and a heck of a lot brighter than YOU.
Is sitting around making wishes all you can do?
Even waiting around to see which one of us will fall? The gall!
Good grief, you’d think to see a shooting star is the greatest thing of all!
Where did you come up with “count your lucky stars,” you dimwits?
You would die a billion deaths before you finished counting my friends and me.
I get laughs hearing your gaffes, but other than that, MY life is the pits!
I wish for YOU to make ME into a MOVIE star. I’d be a diva for an eternity!
Then I could really live it up in style, like you glitzy dolts down below.
Yeah, and keep “reaching for the stars.” Let’s see how THAT goes.
July 1, 2020 for Nina Parmenter's You Are A Star Poetry Contest
So vast the mind of men...
So vast the universe...
So vast both.
Merely a vast cynical joke