Best Offensive Poems
(These are lyrics to a song I wrote called "Blasphemy")
Verses:
Mother Mary sat on a bench with me today
But I couldn't think of one goddamn thing to say
'Cept, "Mother, oh! Won't you please save my soul right now?
I'd gladly do it but I don't know exactly how"
Hail Mary! Bless me twice!
Judas betrayed Jesus Christ
In Revelations, prophets said
John the Baptist lost his head
Chorus:
You gotta pander to my ego
Herod was my hero
Why didn't Noah's Ark fall apart?
Genesis was...just the start
Verses:
St. Peter slammed those Pearly Gates right into my fuc*ing face
Just too much sin I can't get in; no mansion there for me awaits
The wife of Lot, she turned to salt, but it was not all her fault
She ran away and then looked back as Sodom burned, and that's a fact
Repeat Chorus...
Verses:
Well, life was Hell so Jonah sailed into the belly of a whale
Daniel in the lion's lair; Delilah chopped off Samson's hair
Cain killed Abel out of spite as the Lamb of God got sacrificed
There came the Whore of Babylon while Thomas doubted every-one
Repeat Chorus...
**Just trying to post something a little different ;)
Categories:
offensive, humorous, religion, religious,
Form:
Lyric
Mouthy, offensive
Talking rudely out of turn
Learning deficits
Classroom victims-child
Awaiting salvation, and
Great education!
I wrote this for my son, who goes to school and got punished because of the groups wrongly
talking too much, he felt it wasn't fair. I have been there too.
Categories:
offensive, childhood
Form:
Haiku
Viet Nam has left many with mental pictures
Images, that some, just couldn't forget.
And when it was over and troops were home
Many vanished, living alone with their regret.
Some found themselves living on the streets
Disrespected and blamed for an unjust war.
Spat upon by some, and psychologically ill
Now doubting what they had fought for.
My brother was a soldier mentally tough
Decorated and wounded during his 23 years.
Was it the pressure of being a civilian
That caused family to shed those tears?
Joe's name isn't written on the traveling wall
Nor does a granite headstone mark his spot.
Yet I count Joe D. among the living dead
Just another memory that time can't blot.
My brother has been missing since 1984
Categories:
offensive, brotherbrother, brother, , memorial,
Form:
Lyric
My psyche's playground
Is a horrific landscape:
There is no escape
From the snagging cleft
Of its jagged inlay,
As steep as a million years of seeping blood
Coagulated through coldheartedness
Confusion and subterfuge
- It's like coming home when your lover's asleep,
Or breaking a promise by taking a peek;
Personal experience tells me,
That right about now,
It is nearly
time for me
To take my extended leave...
...Can we keep this between you and me,
Exclusively?
I never really liked you very much anyway;
But why should we let something like that
Stand in our way?
And try and hold us back?
Or stop us from running away?
Maybe even together (someday)
But not necessarily on the same planet...
...Is this a joke?
A poem?
Or an insult?
I don't think I get it?
I really cannot be expected
To know the correct answers
To these specific types
Of metaphysical questions;
Yet...
...That's what makes me an artist...well, isn't it?
What are you?! - A friggin' idiot?!
Don't answer that:
I was just starting to like you,
Even though, it is true what they say:
I do think you are incredibly stupid
Considering your unexpected age...
...But we can still be fair-weather friends
Whenever it isn't raining again...Is it just me?
Or is it always raining these days?
I can evoke a joke or a poem
From almost any known substance
Comparable to injustice!
So why then, won't anyone pay me for my poetry?!
Is it because I'm still drinking too heavily?
Somebody, anybody
- Seriously, please; just kill me
# They call this "topical" humor, but I still don't get it...
...And I feel like I'm running out of time to "get-with-it"
- Any suggestions would be appreciated....
Categories:
offensive, angst, crazy, political, silly,
Form:
Free verse
The Most Offensive C-Word
By Elton Camp
The F-word is just revolting
The awful N-word is jolting
The way things have been of late
There’s another one that folks hate
Cruel is a word that most despise
For great evil it most surely implies
Crazy is very politically incorrect
For disability bias we easily detect
Yet another C-word that is even worse
Its very sight makes lot of people curse
For the word immediately does convey
Thoughts of leading the economy astray
If you have followed events of the day
Then it is “Congress” you likely will say
Categories:
offensive, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
entry for offensive odor contest - everyone knew one of these kids. enjoy
There is always that one kid in all middle schools.
Who is unaware of personal hygiene rules.
Showing up to class needing no introduction
Because of their aroma causing nasal obstruction.
The other children convulsing in their seats.
Days they did shower were considered special treats.
For not many people enjoy smelling,
What resembles the odor of a pig’s dwelling.
Combining the stench of rotten fruit
With moldy cheese and a baby’s toot.
Are they oblivious to smell that chokes like a tight scarf?
Or do they enjoy making others barf?
If you ever cross one of these subjects
Who reek of gross failed science projects.
Ask them kindly to take regular showers,
So we can look at healthy, not wilted flowers
Categories:
offensive, funny,
Form:
Quatrain
Note: Any one can be a Bookie, regardless of age, sex, or race!
With no regards for my life, or anything else.
I'm usually doing something silly
to make me feel good about my self.
A negative person, with nothing good to say or do.
My calamity just doesn't affect me,
but the others I come in contact with too!
I love who I am & don't wanna do better.
I despise progress,
I'm the epitome of a true Nigga!
Yeah, I said Nigga, N.I.G.G.A.,
Never Interested in Getting Goals Accomplish,
is what my cousin use to say.
But forget him, i'ma sell me some dope
until I come up!
& after a decade in the game, I just blame my misfortune
on bad luck.
They say life doesn't owe you nothing,
but that law of logic doesn't apply to me.
I'm content with a fine freak, a thousand dollars,
& a dime sack of weed!
But, every year I be wondering why am I in jail?
Consciously realizing I created this tiresome & infinite
hell!
Hell on earth, & it seems like a unreal Jason
nightmare.
& you can talk about me all you want,
cuz I really don't care!
Cuz, I feel life owe me something,
& I want mines plus with a extra cookie.
If you can't tell by this poem:
I'm just a stupid & pitiful nigga name Bookie!
Categories:
offensive, depressionme, life, me, cousin,
Form:
Quintain (English)
Your mother must be ohh so proud
of you
Of all the complex things and thoughts
you have to say
Choose to write down and post
Oh how I bet she must share them
with all the other countless mother
stork's
Have them printed and placed above
her fireplace in gothic crucifix frames
Just incase the devil pop's in for
afternoon tea and a good old catch
up and chinwag
Again just to see how his number 1
little so and so is doing
In regards to how it's going stirring
the pot and raising temperature's up
He's even brought a few golden stars
just for you
If you have been a very , very bad boy
and your numbers are up
And if they aren't I have even brought a
list of suggestions of other stupid
offensive things
That should work as well
Categories:
offensive, slam,
Form:
Free verse
a quarter of a coin that flips
heads or tails
no life
just the breeze of freedom of speech
words that are conjunctions that flows with vivid taste
bold
no hidden facts
just the bluntness of truths
apolgetic for offending the characters of life but truth be told a lie equals the chains of no
return
no honesty
no loyality
just the scrapping and pounding of daggers, killing our heart
excessive content
maybe
but the world I paint: is from the toungues of of ripple words that portray a painting
do you want just a picture that's ugly?
no emotional feeling
no lines of truths
just the broken art of the imagination
Categories:
offensive, life,
Form:
MEDITATIONS OF AN
OFFENSIVE LINEMAN
I am the essence
of patience and method
No reckless trash talk; I never
say a word
I am John Henry, harder,
A hammer on your bones driving
spikes through your soul and
your disintegrating self esteem
We have a chunky young
tailback who dances through
turbulence like light through the
trees in a storm borne by wind
When he runs with me,
you’re never there
Elevating your game is just wasting
your time
I am the tiger in the grass by the river
of your demise
Too late you comprehend the aesthetics
of my violence, the pattern of my stripes,
the curve of my teeth, the savage nuance
of my mayhem
Go ahead, fight me if you must
but my arrival is always fatal
Categories:
offensive, football,
Form:
Free verse
you believe millions die
by the hand of man
so you can have faith
you believe one
not of god
will bring peace to the land
you believe eating
the sweetest fruit
will save your soul
you believe to be save
you must see a man
hanging from a cross
you believe the belief
belief alone
can save you from hell
you believe freewill
a gift from god was given
to be given back
you believe in a god
that would see his perfect son
hung from a cross
Categories:
offensive,
Form:
I was skimming the internet
and found a man who preached,
can’t ever say that I’d agree
with any of his speech.
He hated nuclear power,
said that it should be banned,
that is was just a folly and
would be the end of man.
So I asked this man if he thought
that we faced climate change?
He said he did, so I said next,
“Then your stance is insane.
Nuclear is the only way
to meet our power needs
if you are truly serious
on being carbon free.”
I expected a fierce debate,
in which both sides might learn,
instead he cried,”I’m offended!:
and I got banned in turn.
The same thing happened when I dared
to challenge abortion,
they cried to social media
and my account was done.
No marketplace for our ideas,
no room for other views,
if we cannot challenge our thoughts,
how will we find the truth?
This haunted me for a long time,
our minds are limited,
mankind just cannot long survive
without hearing what’s said.
Our lives and futures will stagnate
without the constant church,
sometimes we need to go offend,
and be offended in turn.
What good is an echo chamber?
How will you deal with harm,
If all you do is run away
from words that may alarm?
And since some can misinterpret
even the nicest words,
to silence people for ‘offense’
is utterly absurd!
That would mean that no single soul
would every get to speak,
since someone [always takes offense,
somebody always freaks.
It’s wrong to silence the people,
even if inside you burn,
to speak is to be offensive,
and be offended in turn.
Even murderous soviets
could not stop what folks say,
truth and opinion will get out,
they always find a way.
Hiding from it makes the mind weak,
untested, unprepared,
dealing with it strengthens the soul
and teaches the unaware.
Difference always brings conflict,
but is that a bad thing?
If offense brings a new idea
that means you’re still changing.
Our minds aren’t meant to be static,
for challenges they will yearn,
to grow we must be offensive,
and be offended in turn.
Categories:
offensive, change, freedom, growth, how
Form:
Rhyme
AND THUSLY DOES GOD ENTER
Why, God, won’t you bless the beleaguered such as me
Rather, You curse criminals so much like me
You, God, won’t grant rest to the weary like me
Rather you test the ones who don’t hear thee like me
I was made deafened to your vehement voice
As You chastise we, the chagrined who have no choice
We must trod on and plod unpleasant plateaus
While you, God, refuse to dance and let Satan step on our toes
You, God, won’t bless us bastards who defile the Bible
And when death claims us all we will all be held liable
Liable for lies and held accountable for inaction
As you, God, remain unforgiving to an un-furtive faction
So God I beg of thee to be a little more forgiving
Either that or end this charade for us, the lasciviously living
We don’t mind when you say “let my supremacy center thee”
But we resent it when you say “bend over b*tch because I’m about to enter thee”
© 2012…..PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~
Categories:
offensive, angst, god, god,
Form:
Quatrain
Why are we seeing isis flags? that waved before above
Those who were to be be-headed !!
Why does the government not put such horror to bed?
Where is the right to live in peace?
A Britian integral, where all should live with all surceace
Wholly free' no iron fist; no foreign law.'
The senses of the people, I feel are raw' false politicans
You'll be 'dissallowed' denied position.'
I hear the vows, it will take millions, maybe they are ready?
A phobia against treason, is now to the fore '
Level headed people, seem primed; aware, intent and sore.'
Categories:
offensive, allegory, appreciation, character, education,
Form:
Rhyme
I heard a rumor
Nancy Pelosi has a tumor
~ Where is your sense of humor
Categories:
offensive, humor, satire,
Form:
Monorhyme