Best Mowing Poems
The thick numerous shoots of grass have come out,
no more snow shovels til late autumn comes about.
I hear the robins chirp as they tend their nests,
wait....the sound of a cranky lawn mower chugging
to life from its winter's rest!
Quickly, dear, go out and mow before everyone else
does!
our yard needs to look perfect, 'cuz-
the neighborhood spring lawn mowing wars have
just begun,
it's quite serious, not so much fun.
Yard envy is so common in our subdivision,
The HOA "Yard Of The Month" prize brings derision.
If the young couple who just moved in across the
street think their landscaping is the best,
my roses and begonias will put them to the test.
Hubby can't start the riding mower,
he's cursing its parentage midst dandelions
and clover.
The other men in the cul-de-sac are already
halfway done,
as their wives bring out iced tea for them
under the strong sun.
Well, well, tomorrow is the neighborhood
block party,
I've already made an array of warm weather
dishes so hearty,
My potato salad and baked beans will surely
be the envy of the other cooks,
it is in the good 'ol American spirit-
to compete and be a smug schnook! ~
Mowing down children with assault rifles
The NRA is all for it. as long as they get a profit.
Selling guns to everyone.
Lah Dah Dee Lah Dee Dah
For protection they yell. We have rights they scream.
Give us our AK’s. Give us our AK’s.
We might need to kill all of the neighbors
If the food gets scarce. Lah Dah Dee Lah Dee Dah
Shooting deer, they lie. Shooting quail they fib.
Shooting always shooting. Give us our AK’s.
You never know when we will need them.
Lah Dah Dee Lah Dee Dah
I’m mowing the lawn free and clear
Don’t have no pants on
Because it’s hot out here.
Neighbors always said I was insane
Always called me out of my name
“Well to hell with them!” is what I say.
I’m mowing the lawn free and clear today.
People always lookin’ down on me.
Well what I think of them…
Now they see…
My moon
And my sun
Watch me as I mow my lawn.
outside cutting lawn
neighbor's noisy mower hums
smell of fresh-mown grass
dandelions bloom
fresh violets kiss the breeze
tulips standing tall
robins building nests
wispy rainclouds from the west
dogwood blossoms fall
FIRST PLACE WINNER
Written April 16, 2021
For "Spring Haiku Chain" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by M. L. Kiser
Spring is here and I must admit,
since the grass is green and growing,
I don't mind if the whole world knows,
I am bored with mowing.
It's back and forth, back and forth,
so tedious and slow.
The repetition's so annoying,
it's a chore I could forgo.
It's a necessary evil,
that's a fact, I know.
Mowing is something I can't ignore,
'cause that grass is gonna grow.
I'll bring out that noisy mower
and get the engine going.
I'll "enjoy" the great monotony,
'cause I am bored with mowing!
Written by: Ralph Taylor
It's fifty miles to the city
And fifty home again,
Around that pothole on Depot Road
Into the arms of the lane.
Old George has left his hay down.
A day or two since mowing.
Pink shadow of the Grange Hall,
Blind in sun's last glowing.
The cows are gathered to the barn,
Tail switching at the gate,
Udders glossy ripe with milk.
Supper'll have to wait.
Take down the bucket and strainer,
Rite of the ending day.
Bury the sound of city streets,
In the sweet whisper of hay.
Bow your head to the great brown side,
A choir in the gentle refrain:
Fifty...miles... to the...city,
Fifty miles to the lane.
Blade alludes to strength
Yet,vulnerable, you bend
Lush carpet of life
It's not thanksgiving, but I get a turkey.
That's what comes when there's three strikes for me.
My average is up close to two hundred by now.
I had to get a lot of strikes somehow.
One day, I shall be the recipient of some fame.
A score of three hundred means I have a perfect game.
Inspired by another member's poem.
It had been a bright and sunny day,
Looking thro’ the window listlessly,
Brooding over what life is after all,
Fumbling, rambling, finding no answer.
Suddenly I heard the noise of a machine,
Saw my neighbour mowing the lawn,
In the twilight of the clear day.
He had come to America for a better life.
Like all immigrants come for and
Living in relationship with a woman.
The noise made me dosed off a while
I heard the noise in the morning again.
The woman was fertilizing the lawn
Found the answer what life is after all.
+++++++
May 16, 2014
Originally the poem was posted on 7/24/2005 and not entered in any contest.
Now for
Ninth Place win
Contest: Poem not not entered in any contest 4 by Linda
After years here in the city with the constant traffic flow,
and the daily grind all based on work to have the coffers grow
or keep the kids in school and provide for what is middle class,
there needs to be an outlet where there is open space and grass.
And being brought up in the country, it is often on my mind ,
with the smell of freshly cut mown hay something never left behind,
but once the daily pressure builds up and the mental anguish grows,
it’s time to have a family day a city dweller rarely knows;
Where there is not a tram in sight or a taxi to flag down;
trains every quarter hour, or bus stops everywhere around.
But there’s a host of parks and gardens that fail to get a pass,
for they rarely are dog friendly or we must keep off the grass.
So our kids get all excited when we travel out to Grandpa’s place,
that is a block out in the country, where there’s miles of open space,
and there’s mountains in the background with a range of pristine trees …
a magic place to be and joined by native birds and honey bees.
And Grandpa’s yard is a property where the kids can run and play,
for there’s two acres mowed as lawn and nothing growing in the way.
All the native shrubs and trees encase a set out garden settee,
where we sat down together; had lunch and a lovely cup of tea.
And Grandpa’s from the old school, not like our modern family;
‘Grandma do this; Grandma do that; or get this or that for me.’
That would never work in our home, ‘you get it your bloody self!’
We treat everyone as equals, and all perch upon one shelf.
But it was alone with Grandpa that had me really shake my head,
looking at his brand new ride on mower, that is parked in a shed,
“This gadget sure is beaut” he bragged. “In no time I mow the lawn,
where it used to take your Grandma, one whole day and all next morn.”
mowing lawn ~
dandelion troops
decapitated
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
Posted on July 20, 2019
The limericks piled in his yard
Made mowing and maintenance hard.
The blade would get stuck
When nonsense it struck,
The handle from hyperbole jarred.
dogs chasing push mower
throw each other in cut grass
grass hides dog poop mounds
shed will smell like grass
lawn mower will get a break
i'll miss exercise
The sun is high in the summer sky
And no clouds to be seen
The grass is high neath the summer sky
And growing tall and green
The mower starts with growling roar
And cuts through swaths of fescue
This mowing proves a sweaty chore
And soon I beg for rescue
My lawn’s expanse appears to grow
The longer that I labor
Seems to expand as I cut each row
The mower becomes my sabre
And I a true knight dueling a foe
Who laughs at my every advance
He stands unyielding before each blow
And about the green our martial dance
With never a sign of surrender
The fight goes on between us two
Which shall prove to be the pretender
Victory comes with the aim that’s true
And at last my foe lies low
Beneath the heel of the victor
Yet even now it grows
Who shall win next Saturday?
Sadly there is no predictor