Best Hot And Bothered Poems
Notus comes creeping furtively from the south
hot and bothered from the blazing summer sun.
The wind of change...concealed it launches sudden storms
as clouds pile up across the sky, dark and towering,
lightning flashes, thunder drawls, torrential rain descends;
rivers swell to bursting point; fields are swamped, crops destroyed.
Then once again he sneaks away, planning his next move.
His neighbour, Eurus, wants to show he’s no less able.
Bearing his inverted earthen vase he goes along
clumsy in gait and spilling water on dry soil.
His forays from the east tend to be unlucky.
Autumn fades with a sigh on Aura’s gentle wings
as ice-cold winter rushes in impatiently
from northern frozen lands to take its place
goaded by the domineering force of Boreas
who moves ahead with strong, intense authority,
his violent temper uncontrolled. Despite his age
he pushes his galloping stallion to the limit
riding forth relentlessly, cloak billowing behind,
his white beard curled; shaggy hair spiked and frosted.
Roaring, across the land he speeds with utmost haste,
a sacred conch shell grasped firmly in steely hand;
tremendous power he exerts and blows aloud
while humans cower in dark caverns, shivering.
They know his moods and fear his devastating wrath.
In their minds, princess Oreithyia’s forced abduction,
rape, and carnal satisfaction are still fresh.
They yearn for winter’s bitter ally to move on
so that the gentle Zephyr enters from the west
bringing with him rainbows and showers of spring,
calm serenity, greenery, flowers, shades and hues,
romantic feelings, fiery passion and intense love.
Ultimately, all four have to heed and appease
King Aeolus, firm ruler and keeper of the winds.
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*Aura = breeze goddess
*Oreithyia = mountain Nymph
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18th December 2014
Contest: Gods of Winds
Sponsor: Shadow Hamilton
Placed: 2nd
Cold Monday morning
He mumbles under his breath
Car engine stutters
As he turns the key in vain
Temperature is rising.
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Written ~ 20th March, 2015
Contest: Tanka 2
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
Placed: 4th
My wife said our sex life, ”Is always the same…”
“You need to spice things up, and rekindle our flame”
So I got onto the net and researched lots of stuff
I took tons of notes and soon…I had enough
I went to “Trickie’s Tricks” with a list a mile long
I even skipped around, humming a naughty little song
So my wife came home from work and entered the scene
I sported a mankini and mask…she started to scream
I chased with a feather in one hand and whip in the other
She dashed from the room, crying loudly for her mother
She slipped on the rose petals…the candles fell to the floor
I reached for massage lotion as she darted out the door
She left me hot and bothered, much to my chagrin
Whatever I do, I feel I just can’t win!
So next time… I’ll ignore her rebuffs
Tomorrow night, I’ll whip out the cuffs
When I was teenboy, nothing else mattered
Than making out in the back of a Chevy
With a gorgeous young hottie with boobs to die for
Breathing became rather heavy
Now I'll try to behave coz the censors are watching
And your computers will probably short circuit
With the powers vested in me, I'll try to behave
But it'll be quite a challenge I'll admit
All my many friends I have here on the Soup
Are aware of my penchant for the naughty stuff
After all what's life about but to wiggle and jiggle
While parading around town in the buff
So far the censors haven't any reason to complain
I've been relatively prim and proper
But I sure can't keep this up indefinitely though
I'll blow a gasket as I get all hot and bothered
Eventually though, I catch hold of myself
Since a teenboy, I've actually learned self-control
Can now walk down the street without molesting girls
And the drooling I've controlled on the whole
So in closing I'll say this, my very good friends
There should be a law that allows us guys
The freedom to molest hot voluptuous young fillies
And make out in the back of a Chevy as a prize
© Jack Ellison 2016
I am a slave to my emotions
When my muse is on the loose,
She cares not what state I'm in.
I know she does not give a hoot.
I start to write not knowing where
she plans to lead me if I dare.
Back in time to my broken heart.
Or leaping forward to a fresh start.
Often she's in her impish mode.
At times like those I really scold.
Occassionally she's hot and bothered,
saying things she knows she oughtn'd.
She plays with words and loves to rhyme.
Mixing and matching until they chime.
To think that I had lost my voice.
With a husband who removed all choice.
My poor little muse suffercating inside.
Go ahead Precious, I've turned the tide.
09/04/2016
A traditional four line rhyming poem with a little twist added.
For MISCHIEF contest.
The baker had a busy day,
Making pies, cakes and bread
He was hot and bothered
And was looking forward
To rest his weary head.
He made some gingerbread men
And put them on a tray
He switched on the oven
And cleared his implements away
The cookies smelled delicious,
Good enough to eat
No one was suspicious
Of the effects of that oven's heat
Eventually, the gingerbread men were done,
The baker examined them
Every single one
Some looked perfect
Just as they should
Some were an ugly shape
That was not good.
Some too soft
Others were brittle
Some too brown
And some too little.
The poor weary baker
Felt very sad
As he looked at the biscuit tray
He was upset and mad
Because he did not like to waste
Any imperfect biscuits, cake or bread
They had the same taste
So he crumbled up
The disfigured biscuits instead.
As the workworn baker put his hat on the shelf
At the end of a long day
The perfect gingerbread man mumbled
That is how the cookie crumbles
The red pills are out again
all hot and bothered on menopause
Angry Birds
spewing angry words
we need a poo poet to respond
to these silly turds
Now Kamala I am sure has lied
a time or two
she's a politician, who cares red or blue
now Trump
who can not read or write
as lied to you thousands of times
I just lied
Is billions
I lied again
Is trillions
Angry Birds hate
like bats in a cave
their world is all upside down
no one told them
they are the clowns
There views are formed
by a little tube in front of them
they have no empathy
nor humanity
They are couch terrorists
frauds for sure
excited by burning flesh
soon behind them
The lion will roar
Think I'm just gonna bum around today
If you don't mind that old expression
Literally, I'm gonna goof off and waste time
Feeling lazy in a state of vegetation
These days are happening a lot more often
Became a senior, then suddenly plonk
Maybe it's because of my afternoon naps
I watch the tube and then zonk
Need to get active like the good old days
A whipper snapper all full of beans
The world was my oyster, yuck I hated oysters
Wearing skin tight faded blue jeans
Love bumming around, it's good for the soul
It also puts hair on your chest
Now ladies, I really love nice smooth boobies
So ya better stay active I suggest
Phew! Got quite hot and bothered for a bit
At my age, better cool it I'd say
Gonna goof off, waste time, vegetate for a bit
Eating bonbons, ogling ladies all day!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Sitting silently from a corner in the room. Watching, plotting, waiting and craving. Demonic thoughts dancing around my head. Toying with my tempting thoughts of painfully making you wish you were dead. Teasing your blood to spill forth from your veins. Playfully enjoying your blood spilling out of that grousum gash I put in your head now exposing your brain. Torturing you by repeatedly bringing you back from the dead. Sickeningly so hot and bothered from lying naked in the bloody space I made my bed. So close to climax then, gone. My eyes were forced open bringing me to f***ing realize it's sadly just one of my sick fantasies playing out in my head. Temper flaring yet again thanks to that trap you wont keep shut in that empty space you call your head. But, mmm, sweetly I think I will help you, I do carry a needle and thread.
Form:
Goober went panning for gold in the creek
Hot and bothered, needed to take a leak ~
Goober pulled down his drawers
His hose produced more and more ~
Cried, "O, my, but doesn't liquid gold reek!"
Life doesn't stop, we all carry on,
Riding along the flow of the day.
Before the dawn, You wake, your day has already begun.
There are children to hustle about the house, lets not forget some breakfast.
The television tells you, it's the most important meal of the day, but you really haven't the time this morning, 'sorry'.
Ahhh, the kids are at school, time for your self for just five minutes.
But wait there's work to go to first. So off You go. And as it's only up the road you walk. But you walk fast because
your favorite band are playing in your ears.
Great. Your all hot and bothered. Just enough time to powder your nose and such. Work is busy and mostly you like
busy, it makes the day go faster and soon you can go home. What was that noise? You ask yourself .Then you
realize it was your stomach telling you off for not eating breakfast....
Not to worry it'll soon be time for lunch. But this is the time when, the first thing you do when you get home is raid
the fridge, because it takes too long to make a sandwich when your this hungry. Mmmmm, much better, and most
refreshing, especially the coffee. Just as you take in the peace of the house and have taken off your shoes, you
notice the clock chimes three! Time to collect the lovely brood from school, so off You go.
Who can get a word in first about their day, everyone's so eager to tell one another. Even you, You need to say too.
It's so nice to walk through the front door for the last time today, there's dinner to make before settling down, have
a hug and watch television. All three fall asleep on you, and you're asleep with them too. Few! What a busy day, and
just think you'll do it all again tomorrow.
Maybe we're subjugated to
certain subjects and
I revolve around you
while you reflect on me.
Maybe we are light
and part night.
Energy and passion
overflowing; amassing,
Oceans of surplus
maybe your touch unmasks me
while mine
has the opposite effect
covering you.
Maybe we undress
clothing ourselves
in one another.
hot and bothered
and our lips haven't
even performed
acts of sedition yet.
Deep conversations
cause soul conversions.
Our tongue's
provide unbelievable
submersions
holding your breath
innumerably
while I breathe
a good word
upon you
indefinitely
Inhale to your exhale
making love with
the movement of air.
Have you ever seen a seesaw?
Do you like to ride it high?
Can you bounce and push so quickly
that you almost start to fly?
I would like to tell a story
all about a seesaw race.
'Twas no ordinary seesaw
for it launched me into space…
My friend Jessica decided:
"We are astronauts, you know.
And this seesaw is a spaceship.
Let us see where we can go."
I pushed off and started soaring,
but she said: "You call that flight?!"
So she heaved and headed upwards
going fast with all her might.
"That is kids' stuff," came my challenge,
as I sprang into the air.
But she screamed: "I can do better!
Watch me jump and then compare."
So it went until I noticed
that I was not coming down.
I saw Jessica below me
as I flew above our town.
Then I rose above my country.
Next I saw the continent.
I beheld the Earth — our planet.
Oh! It was magnificent!
Very soon the Earth was tiny:
just a distant bluish sphere.
When I spied the planet Venus,
I decided to come near.
What I saw was clouds and darkness.
It looked poisonous and hot.
Venus was a pressure-cooker.
Fit for living it was not.
Then I left it far behind me,
moving closer to the Sun.
Soon appeared another planet.
And I'll bet you know which one.
It was Mercury — the smallest
of the inner planet group.
To observe its barren surface
round it I performed a loop.
I saw empty cratered highlands,
and the Sun loomed large and wide.
But I had to move on further
and continued with my ride.
I was getting hot and bothered,
for the Sun was right next door.
I could see its burning gases:
as they blazed, they seemed to roar.
It was big. It was enormous —
full of energy and light.
All the planets spun around it.
Yes, the Sun was quite a sight!
Cont'd in Seesaw into Space: Part 2
You are my sun,
You are my smiles,
You are my blue sky,
Thats being seen from way up high,
You are the feeling,
Of butterflies in my tummy,
The cause of my laugh,
And my sweet soft voice,
When you put me to sleep,
You are the reason,
I become hot and bothered,
For your the only man,
I'll let fix that problem,
You are the ear,
That listens to me day and night,
Your arms wrapped around me,
Holding me tight,
You are the one,
To make my dreams become reality,
I know your not here in person,
But I can still feel you,
You are in my heart and soul,
And a lot of my mind,
You are my one and only,
For soon it will become,
And we will be a family,
You are the sparkles,
In my eyes,
The glow around my body,
The softness against my skin,
As I continue to see behind my eye lids,
It really is becoming harder and harder to live without you,
If only I would have found you sooner,
We would have already begun our lives....
Everybody writes about love so this is NOT a love poem.
This is a dedication to a feeling that often eludes thee, but it moves me to.......NOT write
another love poem.
This is an ode to that tingling in your stomach and that light headed feeling......it has you
reeling and im realing you back in just to reinform you that this is NOT a love poem that
makes you hot and bothered.
That sends you home to put it on who or whom ever.
It will not make you feel all mushy inside and "aww" a couple of times because this is NOT
another love poem.
This, is an expression of affection towards he that sends me blessings.
This is not a love poem, this is me stating im in love with a higher being who gave me higher
meaning to what you.... and i...... call love!
Form: