Best Having Poems
A constipated vicar named Bart
Was in church when he dropped a huge fart
He said 'Lord I have sinned'
For I’ve got pooey wind
Blushing scarlet he did soon depart!
26th April 2016
Let's go through the rules for having a side chick
I know a lot of people won't like this
A few guys get one, when their relationship starts to get strain
Make sure you save your side chicks number under a mans name
Delete all messages that may look suspicious
Text her like she's a friend, don't put any kisses
Don't fall in love or try to fulfill all her wishes
Always remember she's nothing but a mistress
Never buy a present for a side chick
Only give her a present if your main girl didn't like it
Never spend time with her on Christmas or an important day
Cause she's just meant for fun, she's not meant to stay
Don't slip away from quality time with your main girl, to contact her
Your main girl is your priority, your side chick doesn't matter
If you've got a girl you adore and are happy with where your life is
Then you're dumb if you go and get a side chick
buck wild
rodeo style
_______________________|
PENNED ON AUGUST 14, 2014!
I love laying next to you
I love being in your arms
When you hold me and wrap me up in your love
And smother me with your kisses
I feel the warmth of your love
I love having you by my side
I love to put my head on your chest
To feel the softness of your skin
I love the scent of your body
The way I can still smell you on the pillows
Even when you are not there
I love having you by my side
I love to run my fingers through your hair
I love to kiss your forehead gently
I love to run my hands over your body
And smother you in kisses
I love when you reach over to hold me
And when you pull me closer to you if I am too far away
I love to look into your eyes when we first wake up
They sparkle and shine with so much joy
I love having you by my side
The hardest thing about loving you is when you leave my side
But loving you is something I just have to do
My life would not be the same without you
You make my life complete
Thank you for loving me
I love having you by my side
Copyright © 2003 Shari E Davis
Everyone at one time or the other have had a good time.
The world is round, the sun will rise, and all think things are fine.
For some of us in America that pretty much is true,
Are we really having a good time? When are we going to realize the sky is not blue?
There's a quite haze hovering over our dear planet.
It's groaning, rupturing and spewing out it's anger, it's a warning we just don't get.
The earth is being drilled, dug into, for it's natural resources.
So what happens? It fights back, hurricanes, tornadoes, and bad weather of course.
Earthquakes, rumbling worldwide, polar ice caps shrinking,
Don't know about you, but it gets me to thinking?
God formed this planet for us, not for us to rape it.
He made this paradise for all of us, to find the Holy Spirit.
Having a good time? At who's expense? God's of course.
He gives us love, wisdom, and of course we make matters worse.
We should be grateful and thankful He lets us even have any harvest,
Anything we can have, if we follow His lead, that's the Lord's real request.
Respect this world and all that is in it.
For it given to us from God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
Reap our harvest, return to our Christian Roots and values, see and hear.
Having a good time in the Lord's world, no war, no pestilence, no hunger, and
especially we have no fear.
Two Nuns travel through Europe by car
Guided by the heavens North Star
Transylvania they reach
Hymn singing they preach
Not realizing they have come so far
At a busy junction they now stop
The red light is about to colour swap
Then out of the night
A most scaring sight
Onto their bonnet Dracula did drop
Sister Francine to Sister Helen said
On with the wipers, off with his head
Darn, that never worked
On this darkly toothed berk
He's hanging on, foot down, of they sped
What shall I do, Sister Francine says
Sister Helen shouts, window wiper spray
At the Vatican I filled
It's heavenly chilled
This time he's sure to go away
The Holy Water now having been yield
Has the demons fate now been sealed
To rid of this dross
Please show him your cross
Get the **** off the windshield!
~*~ This piece has been turned into a Limerick from a joke doing the rounds ~*~
'Tis know wander nor em aye telling yew anything gnu,
Hour tongue is awash with homophones confounding me end ewe.
Ah, two sea thee broad expenses from a towering mountain peek;
Thee pristeen see, thee rolling veil end meandering creak.
Watt a thrill two watch thee eagle as it sores threw thee heir;
With incisive ayes it seeks its pray with indomitable flare!
Sergeants ar knowted four naming voluntears write out of thee blew,
With that knot sew subtle commend, "Eye knead you, ewe end yew!"
Watt they were volunteared fore, they haven't thee slightest clew,
Butt that is a part of army life, beeing tolled watt two dew!
Wee're tolled inn thee Good Book that inn thee grate buy-end-bye,
Wee shell awl return two dust wen it comes hour our too dye.
It can bee etched upon my stone wen my life comes two a cease:
"Though he maid grate youse of homophones, Mae he lye inn piece!"
am not the same
mysef i blame
now i regret
you can bet
feel set
my boby is free
HAVING SEX
CHANGE ME
My pen pal and I both had a passion for poetry books
The city library was thought of. We met in her nooks.
Shush! Shush! We heard from a librarian, truly staid.
With face of a rooster, we knew she was an old maid.
Two pen pals forever, we only had one day to meet.
We knew it would be fun, endearing, exceedingly sweet.
We ditched the library, my forever pen pal and me.
We headed northeast, where two terrific poets should be.
We picked out a spot where literary mermaids danced and sang.
Faeries and brownies came along with a hull-a-balloo band.
Dictionary gargoyles got frisky, and gave us some sass.
We rolled our eyes, ignoring them, and their syllable grass.
It was a fine time. Two poet pen pals having a blast.
Collaborating hard, ideas in spurts, and real fast.
And that is how we two pen pals finally met, and had some real fun.
If you doubt this incredible tale, you are not the only one.
When it's viewed
and renewed
let's exude
a good mood
attitude
Life's worthwhile
with new style
wear a smile
don't be vile
or hostile
January 11, 2022
What's New Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May
The warmth no longer comes
it seems to only leave.
The furry ones, all
caught in hypnotic disbelief:
hardening ground's
taken root
where once
gardening grounds
(forsaken, mute)
were once and again
makin' fruit.
Each beast, shaking
like a leaf
(though, truth be told
I've only ever
seen 'em dance)
as if to compel
the sun to
sidle up
'n stay a bit.
The butterflies are all turned
to windblown, drying leaves.
The biting clouds of gnats
are now
the biting cold of early flakes.
All hatched and reared
(the secret thrush, the ungainly, splashtering loon,
the burly snakes)
as evening hurries home
to be home for the night.
It's so early, so late.
The fatted robin's gone
just as the field mice hid
from barn-now-lapcat.
This constellation of crows,
a raucous perch, tried
that hiding ploy: their clotted knotted
silhouetted faux-leaf blackening hide out
where the leaves’d lived but crows are not
meant to blot the low sun as they’d plotted...
And so it was as so its been since Oh, so ever since -
a bird of prey, answered their
plaintive caws with painted claws -
a fracturous startle from above
a crash! a cry! a scattering!
one down, one murder
still.
Nothing softens, nothing greens.
No flowering as Southern urges
force flocks into making V-lines.
Each nest left: all break routines.
Summer is souring, as frost emerges
and last-one-picked, the pines -
lefties left in left field;
icing soon, their needles their shield
and, the coach never intervenes...
The light more slow to show
more tugged and bent to slant.
The sunshafts seem to push
the cold ahead as snow by plows.
And for our part we too as well
well, we turn away, turn indoors.
We turn our dreams to
make-it-through this.
We turn our collars up,
and too, our eyes to floors.
We turn our (each seems to)
thoughts inside this shell
not towards Inner but
rather, of course, truly from-
far and away from the
Cold & Falling, closing crisp.
How unlike the Scholar's Cup!
Our husks indoors,
our thoughts follow
but burrow deeper still.
Don't blame the light
for not keeping company
so deep where hides
a fearful, frigid 'you.'
It's Autumn
all turns on
one point.
It's Autumn
Fall burns on.
It's Autumn
sun burns on
one point
(of light.)
I have never felled so alive
as now.
Now my head is free
wrong to right please let it be.
To love you again.
© Harry J Horsman 2010
The illustrious Lucille Ball
For Ricky, she would fall
Left the world a little better
For everyone who met her!
I Love Lucy, the hit tv show,
With Ricky as Lucy’s Romeo,
Survived through many years,
Despite the creator’s fears,
Lucy would stir hearts in her shadow.
Lucy became a favorite performer.
She certainly wasn’t a benchwarmer.
Her heart worn on her sleeve,
Caused viewers to truly believe!
It's been there for as long as I know
now here I am in my sixty-fifth year
and its still showing it's ugly head
daily confrontation comes so very near
But believe I'm here for a purpose
even when the reasons are not seen
receiving real faith never to give up
going that extra mile make yourself mean
Words are so very difficult to say
no day went past my tongue will block
but my inner strength kept me going
God gave me strength to try to talk
This stammer has truly haunted me
when thinking I'm beating it I fall
but inside I know never give up
don't let it beat you I hear a call
So now I attend a new therapy
hoping and praying for a breakthrough
even just to control it a little better
continue to activate my walking shoe
(Looking back on life's struggles and how faith in God has pulled me through)
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We are just passing by through life in Clearance. As the wind blows, the earth stands still, Block out all the noises and do God’s will. Heavenly eyes filled with love, let’s all hold hands in peace and follow God’s doves. Just like Nypsey Hussle said, I was thinking chess moves but it was God’s grace. Open your eyes and look at God’s face. Coming together leaving our human desires. Lets all open up our hearts and come to God with fire. Stay strong and look up high, heaven is waiting for you so keep on pushing forward and don’t cry.