Best Gnome Poems
Darlene De Beaulieu graciously consented for her poem "Gnomes" to be used by me in this contest. Thank you Darlene!
There’s no gnome
like the gnome at home.
I have a gnome at home alone.
Chantilly, Chris, or Charlie -
they’re friends for you and me.
Your tumbler sweet
sure is neat to greet
you no matter where is the street,
but remember no gnome is known
like the gnome that waits at home.
Gnomes – Darlene de Beaulieu
I love the gnomes
I m drawn to them
One time I had twelve
I named all of them
I named him Chris
He holds a gift for me
Another one I named
Charlie
I have a tumbler
With gnomes and hearts
shapes
When waiting in a line
It called out to me
So I bought it
I take my tumbler
everywhere I go
Some people like keeping up with the Joneses
I do not know any Joneses who could keep up with me
So I have elected to keep up with the gnomes
How absurdly difficult could that task be?
I like wearing leggings, and I have no height
I love gardens, faerie houses,and toadstools you see.
I am pretty confident I can keep up until FFFT!
They begin rapidly disappearing in front of me.
I scrunch up my face, and concentrate ridiculously hard.
What about keeping up with faeries? Fairies begin to giggle.
I have not giggled in a long long time, annoying my own petard.
How about a dragon fly, I think as I begin my wing-trying-out wiggle.
Gnarly is cozy in his winter best today
His clothes were a gift from Mrs. Claus,
a uniform like Santa’s complete with red hat
His is knitted, even warmer than Santa’s maybe
He gets out his favorite Christmas book
Begins to read, loving the cozy plaid pillows.
Where did they come from?
Who did he need to thank?
He fell asleep in his soft hammock,
Guessing so many of his friends.
The possibilities were endless.
This is what happens when you are a Christmas gnome.
Everyone in Christmas town brings you something.
By the time he woke up, his entire hammock was decorated
With pine, red ribbons, ornaments and lovely pine cones.
My life is the best! The gnome said with joyful gratitude.
The gnome did not know any other way
Than to serenade the birdies with a happy hooray
He uplifted their spirits on this lovely Saturday.
They tweeted their appreciation to the wise gnome named Gay.
~David The Gnome~
(Rhyming Couplets)
Hello there dearie, my name is David the Gnome
And this is my home, Sweet Home
And you're most welcome to roam
Around, and read each and all of my poems
My library as you can see is built just like a dome
With the finest wood that came all the way from Stockholm
I read a lot, but I prefer that chap Sherlock Holmes
His detective stories make me feel quite at home
My dear wife just left to get some sweet honey-comb
Last year we traveled all the way to Rome
That was so cool, we also visited the Catacomes
And we went to see also our dear friend Jerome
I got the most wonderful and historical tome
About all the living world's Gnomes
And I am David the Gnome
One of the oldest of all the Gnomes
So please feel free again to visit my home
Don't be afraid of those nasty trolls that roam
Or landing anytime you want at my aerodrome
My friends the birds have wings built stronger than chrome.
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2009
January.2.2016
While I was sitting on my porch one day,
It was in the middle of May,
I saw a great sight,
A gnome in fright,
And then he ran away
There once was a gnome named Jerome
Who made a herb garden his home.
One day as he frolicked,
He slipped and fell on some garlic
And was instantly killed when a clove cleft his dome.
The sad news of Jerome spread as far north as Nome,
And there was weeping and wailing from gnomes 'cross the foam.
When I learned what transpired,
Re the way he expired,
It inspired me to proffer this "po'm" for Jerome:
Here lies our dear comrade Jerome
'neath his garden's herbivorous loam.
If he'd played "farmer in the dill",
He'd be up here with us still
'stead of filling a 3 x 6 hole, his new home.
Entered in Jay Narain's Humorous Poems Contest
July 5, 2023
!2th Place
A Gnome Rhyme
One day I thought I’d take a walk, so I went down to the park.
I hoped to see a Robin or Wren, or even a Meadow Lark.
When suddenly I saw someone, appear before my eyes.
It was a Gnome all dressed in black; of this I tell no lies.
I asked where he was going, and this is what he said.
He told me from his wedding, of which he now has fled.
I then asked what had happened, and why he ran away.
He told me that his bride-to-be, had run the other way.
We were never ready for marriage, it was not yet meant to be.
But our father Gnome’s would not listen to us; their eyes refused to see.
When upon the Gnome tree altar, of which we would be wed.
I could see in my Gnome girl’s eyes, a life we both might dread.
She said to me that we should wait, and thus we dashed away.
And as I passed by both our fathers, with a grin I said “Good-day.”
The Gnome girl I was to marry, had bolted the opposite way.
And now we both are running, and probably will all day.
I told him if he liked, I’d hide him at my house.
And if he wished, I’d do the same, for the girl, his almost spouse.
He thanked me for the offer. He said that would be nice.
He then produced a golden coin, saying, “Would this be enough of a price?”
I said the coin was unnecessary, that I considered him a friend.
And for a friend I’d be there for him, up to the very end.
We searched and eventually found his girl; she was hiding behind a rock.
The rock was near a very old church; on top it was a clock.
The clock struck on the hour, when I suggested we should head home.
And so we three, we did just that; me and my two Gnomes.
I noticed something as we walked; the two were holding hands.
I wondered what each was thinking; maybe they still had plans.
Love can be quite odd; it grows at its own time.
My walk this day is over now, as too is this Gnome rhyme.
The man walked up the alley
A shepherd in a valley
Looking for that one lost sheep
When WhatsApp gives a beep
The man took our his phone
An ape picks up a bone
And uses it as a tool
To bash the brainless fool
The sheep had wandered off
As the feet on pavements scoff
Walking past the man seeking alms
Ignoring the poor lady selling charms
The man walked to his home
To his garden and its gnome
Expecting love and tea
And his baby on his knee
The sheep is out there cold
And the whino’s face is old
But not wizened or sagely
Merely worn out and agely
The Shepherd cries a tear
For the sheep so lost right here
In their homes
With garden gnomes
With eyes wide shut
You say that you can picture me sitting in my chair.
What is it that you picture when you look from over there?
Do you envision beauty or an ugly, wrinkled hag?
Does my skin give off a glow or do my wrinkles sag?
It's strange to think you picture someone you've never seen.
I could be short and squatty or maybe tall and lean.
What is the face that's given to represent this poem?
Is it of a beauty queen or just a garden gnome?
A gnome wrote a poem
" How to love Sarah Moonface"
But his carrot nose fell
Murphy's Law
Nibelung
lost his pen in Moselle
© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
12/14/2014
The Gnome was sad he was sitting feeling unloved and alone.
Nobody seemed to notice him now, when they came home.
He once was happy, smiling all day.
As they cam down the path, some even came to play.
His paint was cracked; his fishing rod was broke.
He was so upset he sometimes thought he would choke.
In the dark, dark blackness of this one night,
He heard a whisper and it gave him a fright.
Then again, he felt it didn’t really matter,
He was so sad, he thought his heart would shatter.
Suddenly the whispers grew and came to a stop beside him,
He was whisked away so fast, his rod broke again where it was thin,
All night in a bag sat the poor gnome,
Not really upset that he had been taken from his home.
He sat and waited through the long night
When someone came to him it was broad daylight.
Oh you poor Gnome just look at you,
I’m going to give you new paint and a rod I will glue.
The gnome smiled widely, his picture was taken, and a letter was sent to his owner
Give us the money or you will not see again, this poor sad gnome, that’s a bit of a loner.
They painted him bright it was all good fun
They put him on a shelf with another gnome, a lady one.
Some money arrived to pay the Gnomes ransom,
They wanted him back, now he looked so handsome.
Please don’t return me I was sad and alone, unless you send me with this other gnome.
Ok little Gnome, no ransom was paid for the gnome by your side,
So we’ll put you together and she can be your bride.
The moral of this if you feel stuck and on the shelf
There always someone out but it could be a gnome or an elf.
Don’t rush into something because you are alone
Even though it worked out, for my sad little gnome.
We know all roads lead to Rome
So you drive a posh Motor Home
For goodness sake
Elate your mate
And lose that damn garden gnome!
Road Rager Gnome
There I was a going home,
4pm traffic going flowing,
driving me little Corolla, going,
when I saw this fool Road Rager ,
he seemed to lunge his car at me ,
and stop just short deliberately,
to try to cast some fear, in me,
just a bit of temper black,
I must have cut him off, perhaps,
His new Ford shining glass like wax,
He flew up the inside track,
And cut me off sharply,
Whack,
I’d left the braking a little late,
My bumper bruised 2 doors his fate,
His fear now multiplying,
Me ole car was critisising,
this silly flaming chap,
He roared amongst on-coming cars,
Put one on the footpath, shocked alas,
Flew down a side-street, so harassed,
His tyres had smoke arising,
So I kept on a driving home,
No bumper bent on me bloody own,
A lesson taught, the Rager Gnome,
Don’t try it I’m advising.
Don Johnson
Roman Gnome
There once was an Emperor of Rome
Who invented the first garden Gnome
He thought it looked cute
In its Christian suit
Mascot to the Coliseum of Rome