Best Gigolo Poems
Old Zack Adams sits a slouch’n so sloppy drunk on a bar-room stool,
Wear’n his cheap-threaded cowboy suit and a stained satin shirt.
All the while a peek’n and a leer’n at women like an old poor fool,
But think’n man tonight—Oh Boy, I’m really gonna hit the pay dirt!
Old Zack in this small Texas town is reputed to be quite a lecherous hoot,
As he raucously and recklessly rolls old worn quarters into the slot
Of the old bar-room Wurlitzer while snicker’n and smil’n to boot,
And plays his tearful and twangy jerk-water music while smil’n a lot!
Old Zack is this town’s “Jukebox Gigolo,” a real lover boy—Oh Boy!
He wears his patched cowboy hat and his scuffed silver-studded boots,
Meant to impress young girls and bar-fly floozies who have the Joy!
Of being with this bewildering, withered, weathered man and his boots.
Old Zack has a fad’n recollection of events and a silver mane of hair,
With a cigarette in his hand and cuss’n like a nasty little stable boy,
He downs whiskey shots and tequila seconds like no tomorrow on a dare,
While chas’n whiskey glass ice cubes and the tequila worm—being so coy.
Old Zack while a swigg’n down his whiskey mucho fast and direct,
He has now that blind courage to fight or to love—whichever is first,
While the old Wurlitzer resonates a rueful hick song for a teary effect,
But Old Zack can’t move now for this song has him sobb’n the very worst.
Old Zack with his nicotine-whiskey breath and his pockmarked face,
Personifies the image of an ideal loser of a man—with problems all,
While fight’n, scream’n, and punch’n others to gain some precious space,
He’s a showcas’n his reservoir of manly prowess—with problems all.
Old Zack was young once and not so wild, withered, weathered like now,
And he thought he was a really smart dude—all right moves and all,
But was really a man act’n far above his funny fake smart brow,
And now a cry’n on his bar-room stool and act’n like a fool before a fall.
Old Zack Adams—alcoholic as he truly is and sly and slick as a Texas fox,
Is not really so good with his women friends nowadays—for his real talent
Is in roll’n those old worn quarters pieces one-by-one into the old Jukebox,
Sing’n—“I’m the Jukebox Gigolo”—“a Drunk and a Delight,” that’s real talent!
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved (October 7, 2014)
(Rhymed Quatrain)
A young gigolo called Timothy
Gave sex for an exorbitant fee
But his passionate style
Sure made all ladies smile…
(I’m hoping that he’s got room for me!)
02~13~17
It’s a bit chilly for my liking
Last minute shopping
Not too much traffic
Soft petals dancing
On a chill wind
Yeah, I know, “buzz-buzz-buzz”
Last one back to the hive
Is a Yellow Jacket
Wonder where the Geese go
Can’t believe I graduated
From “Bee U”
With honors
Now I crash land
On unsuspecting flowers
“pollinations gigolo”
Yeah, Yeah, I know
The “Queen”
And her minions
Depend on my
Promiscuity
Well, must bee off
There’s one Rose left
And I think she likes me
How to describe love, well I'll give it a shot
Like your first two wheeler, that's saying a lot
Like your very first ride on a ferris wheel
What an absolute thrill can't believe it's real
Suddenly that annoying girl next door
Creates a stirring right down to your core
When wrestling with her she was one of the guys
Now its different when you look in her eyes
Her lips seem more lush and inviting now
Think I just blew a gasket, holy cow
Oh those were the days as if it was yesterday
The feeling still there but it's now just wordplay
Maybe I'll come back when my days are done
As a gigolo, yee haw, that sure sounds like fun!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Rugged and handsome with perennial tan
Distinctive and stylish, a real ladies man
Wining and dining all goes on the tab
Along with “entertainment” in the back of a cab
An invite for coffee at his hotel
This Romeo won’t kiss and tell
An exquisite encounter, but where will it end
That all depends on how much you spend
Contract sealed and ready for action
Destination set for satisfaction
Even though he may be fit to burst
He makes sure his customers always…
…come first
Everybody knows him as Alessandro,
the handsome gigolo of Via Veneto,
and his lucky charms he sells to many a gorgeous lady,
he approaches them and says,
" Mademoiselle, parle vous Francais?"
as he struggles with words, she replies,"Oui"
And he continues with a perfect accent, "Je t'ame!"
shocked by the womaniser, the slender French young woman
looks at him and starts to laugh with an entertaining wit;
but the gigolo insists, " Tu es tres belle!"
And the petite mademoiselle exclaims," Merci!"
How can his sexiness win him this French woman?
"Vouz habite a' Paris?" and smiling she nods
" Oui...a' Paris, a' Belleville..un quartier de Paris!"
and the gigolo continues, " Un bel androit!"
" Beau garcon,, est-ce que La Fontana di Trevi...
est loin dici? And Alessandro excitedly replied,"
" Ce ne'st pas loin!"... and with a sign laguage,
he pointed to his red Ferrari, ready to steal her away!
Copyright 2010 by Andrew Crisci
Translation:
Mademoiselle, parle vous Francais?"/ Young lady, do you speak French?
Tu es tres belle/ You are beautiful
Vouz habite a' Paris?/ Do you live in Paris?
Qui...a' Paris, a' Belleville...un quartier de Paris!/
Here...in Paris, in Belleville...a quarter in Paris!/
Un bel androit!/ A beautiful place
Beau garcon, est-ce que La Fontana di Trevi...est loin dici?/
Pretty boy, where's the Trevi Fountain...is it far?
Ce ne'st pas loin/ not too far
Got fired for loafing on the job.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
Crossing a street, a car hit me.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
A foul ball hit me on the head.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
My girl fled with a gigolo.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
Got arrested as a tax cheat dolt.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
Went broke buying high, selling low.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
Got bit playing with a Great White.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
Sold hens to pay bills, eggs got high.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
Voted for change but have none left.
I shoulda seen it comin’.
Don’t know how to end this poem!
I shoulda seen it comin’.
1/31/2023
GIGOLO
Decent, Devoted and Dependable-
most necessary for Gentlemen,
quit disastrous to a Gigolo !
Must get spread about,
cannot leave a doubt;
I'm most despicable !
Despicable did I say?
notorious in the hay?
Matters not the day,
won't you come and play?
For a bit of wine
and a loaf of bread,
I'll gladly share your bed.
Render to me-
which is fun and profitable
and I'll follow any where.
Try and be serious,
speak of lasting Love;
and I'll disappear-
for I'm a Gigolo !
How to describe love, well I'll give it a shot
Like your first two wheeler, that's saying a lot
Like your very first ride on a ferris wheel
An absolute thrill couldn't believe it's was real
Suddenly that annoying girl next door
Creates a stirring right down to your core
When wrestling with her she was one of the guys
Now its different when you look into her eyes
Her lips seem more lush and inviting now
Think I just blew a gasket, holy cow
Oh those were the days as if it was yesterday
The feeling still there but it's now just wordplay
Maybe I'll come back when my days are done
As a gigolo, yee haw, that sure sounds like fun!
Is you is or is you ain't
sweetest devil or smoothest saint?
All dressed up in suits and ties
your smile is empty behind those eyes.
Your words drip of sweet honey,
as your mind trips only on money.
Is you is or is you ain't
a lover of women or a pimp to taint
the latest sweet young thang
with empty promises of a ring,
if she'll only come through
with whenever its about you
and your needs getting met
to the latest bimbos' regret.
So, is you is or is you ain't
as we sit at your feet acting all faint
within the charm of your poison ...
girl, you better just run!
beyond Sampson Canyon where the wild ones were
dark Knight the lead stallion stormed into the fray
master speciman of equine handsomeness
lusty females followed him out, their hooves stomping and stamping
there goes the whole herd a rookie cowboy observed.
we are going to capture them down at tuscon's south pasture
this was stated by the Triple Z’s ranch foreman
that is where the cowhands are waiting he added
gigolo stallion heard, and turned his harem around
their hooves swirling up gray dust into the air
They wanted me to do this - 'Do you mind if I watch?'
I said: 'No' - as a seasoned pro, it was nothing,
someone said to me: 'How can you make love
when you don't love them?' That was my job.
Of course, it may not be a thing of beauty,
supposing that I didn't satisfy them, rarely,
if so, I still had to be paid for the haircut,
mission accomplished, did my best - that was my job.
'Aren't you ashamed of all the things you do?
Do you satisfy yourself as well or hold off?
I did what I had to do - there was no guarantee,
to the best of my ability - that was my job.
'What about your own love life?' 'That's different -
he doesn't expect the same service, when I come home.'
When I was a young lad of just twenty-three
Wanted to be a gigolo between you and me
Had the equipment
Had the commitment
Only thing missing was partners you see
You take care now, Harold,
and don't slip on the ice
looking for a good bookstore
on the streets of Chicago.
Print is dead, Harold,
and it's being waked
in empty bookstores.
Soon all bookstores
will be dead, Harold,
and then you will have
no good reason
to go out on the ice.
At our age, Harold,
ice can be lethal
so take my advice
and do as I do:
Walk head down
even if there's no ice
so you can avoid
not only the ice
but also the women
disgruntled with men.
Believe me, Harold,
they're out there
armed with bumbershoots.
They prowl the streets now
more than when we were
young and dashing
and making them angry.
They haven't forgotten us.
So for God's sake, Harold,
go out for a walk but
bundle up and take your cane
and walk with your head down.
Do you believe in God, Harold?
I hope you do because
at our age, Harold, ice or a
woman could be the chariot
that takes us over the moon
faster than we'd like.
Donal Mahoney
Lock him up, throw away the key.
Giggles and titters.
I am not kidding, it’s Johnny, girls.
Lock up your hearts. He is a ladies' man.
We thought they were being funny.
We were immune to bad boys like this.
Until we met him.
And by then it was too late.