Best Gee Poems
Looked up this morning, no clouds overhead
So happy I screamed like a banshee
What greater seduction than smelling fresh air
With the breeze caressing my gee-gee
As I stand here naked as the day I was born
Only one thing has entered my psyche
Put on some clothes, you silly old twit
Your gee-gee is frozen, by crikey
Must have been a great party last night
Can't remember my first or last name
As I take a quick peek at my poor little gee-gee
Must have played some pretty rough games
Sure hope I don't get that hammered again
Can someone please find me some clothes
I'll quietly ride off in my beat up jalopy
In case to some girlie I proposed
© Jack Ellison 2013
Gee Whiz
I ate a sandwich made of wurst
with four large beers to quench my thirst
because my clothing was of worsted
I was extremely hot and really thirsted
I drank some more and nearly bursted
I ran to the john to relieve my pain
I had to wait for I wasn't firsted
when it was free I hurriedly ran
the whiz came out like heavy rain
after relief I repeated the act
and then went home for another snack
©Ralph Sergi Contest
Well, Finn and Mc Gee
Were riding along
Headed back home
When something looked wrong
So, Finn off his horse
Now looked all around
He said, "We are lost
But, there's something we've found"
"Look at this massive
Whole in this plain
We'll never get home
This is insane"
"A canyon like this
What an unlucky find
We can't ride around it
We haven't the time"
"And we can't ride down through it
There isn't a way
If even there was
We'd be dead in a day"
So Mc Gee very calmly
with shovel in hand
Said "Well, we'd better get crackin'
And fill it with sand"
Oh, dear what could the matter be?
At twice the ripen age of three
Was standing to bat at the tee
Though staring blankly at a tree
“Take a swing,” the coach was a she
Agreeing, taking it firmly
Hitting and Sending the ball free
Then sprinting expeditiously
A slide worthy of the laundry
“Keep running,” they all said loudly
“What? Huh? Run?” I said breathlessly
The other team look on eagerly
“Oh, ya,” was the last to hit, lovely
Taking two steps, "out!" no mercy
That's it. No more baseball for me
My last t-ball activity
February 11, 2018 Updated 5/14/2019
When I let one loose in the elevator,
I tried holding, but the gas had been greater.
Spreading in age, I couldn’t blame for later,
Every step I took, my body a traitor.
Three young man that were next to me,
Were trying to be respectful. One fell to his knees
Pinched his nose; Gee Whizz, Lady! Snickered tee-hee.
The doors flew opened, they buzzed out like bees.
8/1/2021
When I Let One Loose In The Elevator Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: charles messina
Do unto others before they can do unto you
Call it preemption and lie through your teeth when you do.
Make up connections to terror, folks don’t have a clue.
Be sure you’re firmly entrenched when they find out what’s true.
Scare the bejeezus right out of them, it’ll be fun
Don’t let them find secret prisons, hide that smoking gun
Unpatriotic to speak up for truth and peace, son.
World domination’s the game here, forget the long run.
Propagate myths through our compromised media herd
Broadcast them loudly repeating each threatening word
It’s well established – beliefs form on frequency heard
After while “mushroom cloud” won’t sound so grossly absurd.
Strategy’s worked for four years now, don’t want to get iced
Hard work required to keep justice from spoiling our heist
Must keep the populace panicked and properly biased
Maybe pronounce that Chavez is the new anti-Christ?
Gorrup.
Gorrowta bed
Gorridda yester's scouse
Grabbed me mornin cuppa
Gorron the bloody net
Groaned ter see that nobody
Gorroff on readin' me
Gowawn sed I
Gowin ter chair
Growlin' in me belly
Gropin' for the flicker
Gawkin' at the telly
I’m not an animal or creature, I’m just a human being
but if the wizard can’t help, then from soup I’ll be fleeing
The wicked soup witch says my poems are dire
she declared I’m past it and that I should retire!
I’ve cried bitter tears until my eyes are sore
my muse has gone, I just can’t write any more
So I silently slink along the yellow brick road
hoping that the wizard can lighten my load
It’s way past midnight when I finally arrive -
I’ve had to walk as I’ve not learned to drive
Dorothy and friends all had their wishes granted
I'll beg the wizard for my muse to be re implanted
I climb the winding steps to visit the wizard
he reminds me of a scaly wizened old lizard
I said ‘Wizard please can you help find my muse,
she’s upped and left, so I‘m here to schmooze
I’m desperately trying to become a good poet
but my poems are awful and don’t I know it’
He said ‘stop the tears, I don’t want to drown -
write intellectual poems, stop acting the clown!’
The wizard peers at me over his 'say ban' glasses
and prescribes three tablespoons of dark molasses
I ask ‘wizard will that bring my muse back to me’
he said ‘don’t be daft, it'll sweeten your poetry’
So I’m guzzling molasses three times a day
and I hope my muse will come back and stay
Off to see the wizard contest
Sponsored by Charles Messina
11/25/18
Donald Trump is just as clear as can be
Immigrant children must be caged, not free!
Trump wants them all whipped
Before they are shipped
But "not on my watch" ruled Judge Dolly Gee!
Here lies Father John with his mum
Who told everyone John was dumb
Her final scoff,
"What a RIP-off!
You must be as dumb as they come!"
Well, lightening soon struck their stone
And we heard that old lady moan
Beneath the cross
She yelled, "I'm boss!"
And I'll punish each shiftless bone!"
Father John saw his plight was grave -
Eternity hearing mum rave -
A priest in Hell
Knows the Devil well
So he bargained his soul like a slave
Father John heard Blueberry Hill
Was a place where some find a thrill
Satan cast his mum there
But she found it just fair
Whilst her son shovelled coal with a quill
The moral of this stone is grim
Fill your coffin up to the brim
Whilst some shed a tear
Make the most of the bier
Let your grave bear a pseudonym
2007 July 05 was your mom’s black day
The moment you close your eyes her heart almost torn with her showering face
Pleasant hours always fly fast
Yet the quality of life also flapping very rapidly with silent past
Gee Gee I hope you still remember Kawaii that met in the yesteryear
He had been playing with you for days while I was out of town in the past year
Unfortunately he just gone on the 4th of August and Auntie hopes you’ll take good care of him
I know without any request you already did with your loving mom’s hint
Darling Gee Gee, while you were barking, we didn’t see each other much
But my thinking and love for you always come with a kiss and a big hug
Actually I know your mom closed to two decades
Good understanding with each other… doings and feelings without says
Well, was your mom told me went to the same breeder to have Kawaii
After counting the grades, you were his uncle with the same family my dear Gee Gee
In your mom’s heart, you were always a very smart and an obedient boy
Taking good care of the family and things in details without asking for treat or any toys
You were really awesome, your mom face still wet while we’re talking about you
No matter how long you’ve had vanished, still her love to you will never due
I think we soon will meet somewhere somehow with you two
If you forgot Kawaii’s face, don’t worry he’ll be wearing a beautiful pendant made by your beloved mom…isn’t it cool?
August 08 2012
There once was an old carthorse
Whose name was Dobbin of course
He sat on the floor
Refused to work anymore
And had to be moved by force
The woman with the Caucasian phrases never ceases to amaze this f***ng guy.
He is a malcontent who's own personal discontent leaves an empty void needing to be filled by her.
But does she reciprocate? Doubtful. Not like it matters. He will continue to flatter
His own self by continuing to flirt with her hopeful for an escape.
He will then ask himself "what is true happiness?" and "Does love truly exist?" All while going home to his wife and wishing for the new her to be his.
And yes, she is warm and kind hearted in nature, charming, charismatic, funny, lovely and graceful.
And yes, he is afraid. Afraid of losing everything and gaining nothing in the end, an existence all too painful.
But of course, he will do nothing about it... and that's what's hurts the most.
Why do I love you?
I don’t even know
Love
Lord
Gee jy nog om
Gee jy nog om vir jou naaste?
Sal dit so wees op die laste?
Wanneer ons moet staan op ons geloof,
Sal jy dan nog die Vader kan loof?
Gee jy nog om vir jou naaste?
Of maak jy vol die heidense kaste?
Vader sê “welsyn begin by jou eie”,
Maar van die heiden verkies jy verskeie.
Gee jy nog om vir jou naaste?
Of probeer jy versteek jou laste?
Kan jy sê ou God en myne is dieselfde?
Die waarheid oor jou lippe gebeur selde.
Gee jy nog om vir jou naaste?
Vals als wat jy doen, jou eie verluste?
Kan jy vir die Vader die eer gee,
Of gee dit vir jou naam ‘n weë?
Do you still care?
Do you still care for your neighbour near?
Will this truth hold as the end draws near?
When on our faith we must firmly stand,
Will you still praise the Father, hand in hand?
Do you still care for those by your side,
Or with the pagan casts, does your heart reside?
"The Father says charity begins with your own,"
Yet from heathens, you choose seeds to be sown.
Do you still hold your neighbour in your heart,
Or attempt to hide your flaws, playing a part?
Can you claim our Gods to be one and the same,
When truth on your lips, plays a vanishing game?
Do you still care for your neighbour, true,
Or is all that you do for your own gain, through and through?
Can you lift the glory to the Father above,
Or seek instead for your name, fame and love?