Best Diet Poems
Long poems are for the birds!
They have just too many words.
I like ‘em short and sweet,
Like something axiomatic that I can “tweet”.
Poems that appeal to people who are real,
Not some long spiel.
Long poems leave me cold.
By the time you’ve finished them you’re old!
“Keep it simple, stupid” is my motto.
Altruistically speaking, I’m not trying to win the Word Lotto.
Long words too with hidden meanings
Are for people with intellectual leanings.
I’m on a word diet.
My asseveration is: Get rid of the fat words and try it.
By: Carole O'Terry Duet
Copyright: 4/5/2018
"All Rights Reserved"
You can have your rib back,
It was making me fat.
***
View that cholesterol wad
Sizzling cheeseburger
Hold the veggies, add ketchup
Tape burger to thighs
Hungry heart pulsates
Thump, thump, thump
Stop!
April 28, 2011
*Entry for Gwendolen’s Fast Food Epulaeryu contest
PS -- Some are misunderstanding. The "Stop" is the sound of the heart stopping when cholesterol clogs the arteries.
sugar substitute
low fat carbohydrate free
feed it to the cat
Anytime I feel hungry instead of eating a full meal I eat Honey.
The best part is that Honey doesn't mind, she's a sweetheart.
Maurice Yvonne
20~11~2014
The Refrain
I bought a box of Animal Crackers.
On the box it said
"Do not eat if seal is broken"
So I opened the box.
I looked inside and sure enough...
The Encore
If a parsley farmer doesn't pay his bills
can they garnish his wages?
Closing Remarks
There is a new virus. It has no symptoms and no consequences.
I am terrified. It turns out I have been diagnosed with it.
I am not a hypochondriac. I really do have it. If you
don't believe me ask my Gynecologist!
Maurice Yvonne
11~20~2014
I’m trying a new ‘see food’ diet
I’d recommend that you all try it
Any food will do
Nothing’s bad for you ...
It's no wonder my trousers don’t fit!
Written 18th February
Posted on 23rd February
Sweet tooth
In youth
On scales
She WAILS!
Hot date
Lose weight
Diet?
Try it
Big eyes
Large thighs
Fat tum
Huge bum
Gobbles…
Wobbles
In mood
For food
Crunchies
Munchies
Wants choc -
Whole block!
Adore
Fridge door
Keeps shut
With butt
Risk it ...
Biscuit
Crispbread?
Drop dead!
Think thin
As pin
Eats less ...
New dress
Now slim
And trim
Look great
For date
04~05~15
Contest Judy Konos - Your Footle Poem
~awarded 1st place~
Raspberries
Young, tender and succulent
Smothered in cream
Yellow fluffy omelets
Garnished with herbs
Eve's pudding bathing in custard
- temptingly -
Mushroom risotto
-a gourmet delight -
Served with green salad
plus chips and icecream!
A glass of white wine - Pinot Grigio
slightly chilled
- decadence -
Madness sets in - slowly
I imagine how happy I'll be when I'm slim
A young flirty lover
With lips made of chocolate
Just waiting for kissing
Delicious and sweet
Courting my taste buds
- disgracefully -
It’s another sordid workplace affair
Organized by the dashing and flamboyant Pierre
There should be a warning to beware
Bad week to start any diet – o what despair
Millions of calories everywhere
On one side a mountain of chocolate éclair
On the other a huge tray of Camembert
It was hard enough to squeeze my derriere
Half-way out of this big cozy armchair
Till I managed to park myself elsewhere
Next to the cheese tray I do declare
There’s more than enough to share
I volunteered to sample so let them stare
Trying to look casually debonair
As my butt widens with each bite I’m aware
No one ever said life is fair
AP: 1st place 2025, 2nd place 2025, Honorable Mention 2020, Honorable Mention 2021
Submitted on November 19, 2018 for contest WRITE A POEM ABOUT CHEESE sponsored by BARRY STEBBINGS - RANKED 8TH
No longer will l sin
Treat my temple like a bin
Shoving all and sundry in
So l will bear and grin
Take it on the chin
To be happy in my skin
Be healthy within
No more biscuits from the tin
Against the bulge l will win
Today l will begin
To do and feel better!
dollar for each pound you weigh,
many angered up at this
largest woman there, most kind
she was worth her weight
I sit and I sit and I sit again,
Wondering why my neck hurts
And my body is losing her elasticity.
Eating brownies for fuel, knowing I am killing myself
Softly, and in a luxuriously relaxing way.
The brownies are gone, but I am not satisfied,
So I reach for the potato chips.
They are salty and crunchy
And help me swallow the
Sweet of the brownies.
I am in one of those hey, let’s not
Do-anything-today-days.
I would go to the store and
Get more chips, but I am
Out of steam,
Sitting
Just
Sitting
Hurting
No one
But
Me
In
my backyard
are songbirds
aplenty
I feed them
raisins;
And
sweet berries
but they like worms better
with spiders
to crunch;
But
cold winter
brings out murders
for today, a songbird killed
a fat mouse
way too big
to carry home!
__________________________
November 11, 2019
Poetry/Light Verse/A Songbird's Diet
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1197-545-02
All rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for FTI Blog Series 25 - Food
Brian Strand
Honorable Mention
Sweet things don't always cloy.
The rainbow comes and goes
and lovely is the rose.
But few drinks bring me joy
and the taste I favor,
that Splenda in the glass,
that dance of bubbly gas.
Ahhh...Diet Coke; savour.
* Credit Wm Wordsworth's 'Intimations of Immortality'
and Andrea Dietrich's 'A Favorite Soda.'
Yes, I know; there's no Splenda in Diet Coke.
So, poetic license I invoke.
love is a drug
its a down and a high is lust
love is to chill out
lust has styles
if love is to savour
lust is to pizazz the flavor
ya'll fronting like you know better
wRAP the flow like so : its a down and a high. and a high is lust