Best Caveman Poems
A Caveman on the Prowl
Grogg is not going out to hunt and gather
But to see if he can find a mate he’d rather
He doesn’t even need to think of some line
As a hard conk on the head will do just fine
Me
mr caveman
know only two words
"me want"
and"me hate"
me want meat
lots of meat
me want women
lots of women
me want war
lots of wars
me want caves
lots of caves
me hate guy
from other cave
me want kill him
kill his women
kill his kids
take whole mountain
me become a big king
me have slaves
work for me
me do absolutely nothing
me drink beer
me eat meat
me smoke
a whole field of weed
me become a caveman-pimp...
If this guy
reminds you someone
with no doubt
this is him...
The mountain breeze,
Frozen fractals, heavy clouds,
The hardened rocks, plains, valleys,
rivers, oceans, seas,
highlands, lowlands, grasslands, river basins, vegetations, rainforest,
birds, trees, animals, insects...
All these I know
But,
The big strange bird with stiff wings flying in one direction in the sky,
The mechanical four moving wheels with people squeezed inside I don't
See people; flesh and blood with funny clothing, shamelessly half-naked
See their suspended floors, it's imaginably soft
See the box which changes the weather and makes it cold
See those three things on the wooden sky continuously chasing one another; I get drowsy trying to understand them
See! They seem to love boxes; another box with people trapped inside and no single body bodies to rescue them
I'll reach now and save them.
What a shame! They are held in another world; they can't be saved
See their furry clothes feels funny when I wear them
Their women are dressed as masquerades
See two people licking lips
See! That round thing spits fire
See, their young ones are locked inside a barricaded hole, playing peacefully with strange animal-lookalikes
The blood in that contained tastes sweet and fine
Now look! That thing does whatever I do; it's shiny and bright
What an abomination now?
They drink water from a suspended river
See that long hole destroys nature's vegetable without care; behold how red and watery it's become now
Look how they eat vegetables like my goats and piece the fowl with their evil spears
What utter madness do they live in?
They spend time packaging something only to destroy its beauty and eat it
Yet they gaze upon me like I'm the mad person here!
Those people at Geico think that we cavemen are fools.
We don't appreciate their condescending commercials.
When I saw those commercials, I was shocked.
They think I'm stupid just because I sleep on a rock.
My cavemen buddies and I are really pissed.
But we do enjoy having Talia Shire for a therapist.
They think I'm primitive just because I carry a club and scratch my butt.
Why do people think that we cavemen are idiots?
A caveman is a slave man to his physicality
He lacks the common courage of a kind philosophy
His calling isn’t running for a newfound sophistry
And yet he won’t be gunning for a new maturity
His progress is reflective in a procreative spree
A gene that is selective in the course of history
The purpose of our pleasure is a practicality
The promise of a treasure in our own posterity
The patience of persistence is our new proclivity
To plunder our existence for a primal urgency
The peace of our resistance is a tasteful harmony
The increase of insistence on our true nobility
Our notion of devotion is an oath of honesty
The bedrock of emotion for a new civility
The trouble with promotion is a lack of clarity
The rumble of commotion in a caveman family
The human is a calling to be all that you can be
The spirit of adventure with the pride of dignity
The path is no vocation to a man of charity
The humble invocation of a new trajectory.
Educated fools make rules that tell you and I what we should or should not do
Rules needed to continue to burry you under the edification of demons
To resurrect menus of abuse from a time of misuse
Just like Stalin and his socialistic science
A super human I mean ape is behind this
The majority wants to blind us letting us use our own binders
Manufacturing an army of one kinders
They say we are weak so they play finders keepers
Leaving man kind to turn into sheepish weepers
Destined to be believers
Enlightenment is no longer enticing us
Instead we just role the dice and cuss
Cause we are man made erected in a cave
Just born yesterday
An ancestral clock ticking no body feels the licking they are getting from there master
No more disaster no more devastation the majority stands on the sidelines awaiting
Blackened lips shoot out spit and all ears perk up to hear
Clear illumination shown in high definition
Wasting a generation still not raping but taking yes taking the tasty suckle youth
Not asking to write this new dictionary of hope
Im not a dignitary but I hold up my post
Not to boast shout outs closed
Putting on my cloak of quotes for awhile
If we off then we off lets go off in style
Should a caveman or woman accidentally wander into our time zone,
He or she would feel right at home,
With their keen ear easily able to interpret our not-so-subtle Grunts,
And groans.
Their good eyesight and sense of smell soon aiding them in finding a free meal.
On many a movie set.
With a home invite from the director or producer on the cards.
With real muscles and body strength dwarfing what we consider as Power,
Suitable for the Frey.
Able to leap from building to building with consummate ease,
They would soon adapt to our concrete jungle,
With their trusty club at hand,
Making us quiver as we hide behind the nearest bar.
Their fleetness of foot and turning speed able to,
Test out some of our smaller cars.
Their ability to deal to snakes in the grass an extra bonus.
Who would benefit most from this accidental meeting?
I think we would, as they would know where to find the best caves,
To help us overcome the housing shortage.
Mr. Corporate caveman,
where goest thou wayward hands?
Giving boardroom ape-man grunts
to the second bananas in command
You love talking jungle lewd
to the female office underlings
Always feeling on someone else’s
body wrapped packages
Dino dogs love sniffing
in somebody else’s kitchen;
and other people morsels, they love licking
Corporate cavemen love exercising
unauthorized executive privilege touching
Mr. Corporate caveman,
I hear-tell you received some Jurassic justice
That your wife, Wilma,
got the divided marital bonds
of your Slate Rock company
And she threw you some scraps
of divorced crushed rubble
You got Betty bopped,
Mr. Corporate caveman ...
‘cause your fingers couldn’t stop,
Mr. Corporate caveman
And there’s a heavy cost
for being a caught misogynist boss
A throbbing heart moistens cornea
worries of the mind puffs a face
a dripping nose is most ugly
vulnerable spirits cling to bodies
A cave is dark all day long
Rains make nights darker
men can dance in darkness
but who notes the music?
The musician dreads sunshine
the cave will remain his kingdom
so longs as he makes every note sweet
with promise and hope of a bright dawn
A promise builds hope
swirl of dance prepares soul for ejaculation
of a confetti of spirit, new cave, green tune
a bonfire to rival the yellow shy ball
The cruel nimbus breaks its waters
The caveman retreats like a tortoise
for the sun has aborted its rays
No music today
The hope maker is away
to sweeten his notes with money
Only if the caveman sweetens his dance
with honey...
(This is a fictional poem)
I'm a caveman who carries a club.
I'm very dirty because I live in a cave and I've never seen a bathtub.
My body smells like manure and my hair smells like pee.
People jump through windows just to get away from me.
Those Geico.Com commercials are mean and unfair.
They think cavemen are primitive because we drag women by their hair.
I'm not primitive but i do smell worse than a corpse that has decomposed.
If we ever meet face to face, you'll have to put a clothespin on your nose.
I haven't bathed since I was born which has been over three decades.
Maybe that's the reason why I've never been laid.
Evil bearded cave-man,
Eating shrimp and lobster,
Claims to be a messenger of Allah,
But really just a bloody mobster
How many gallons of tears have you brought?
How many shattered lives have you wrought?
Someday we'll get the revenge that we've sought,
You don't F with America and get away for long,
This mighty country is just too strong
So hide in your hole and hope it's deep enough,
When it comes to courage, you ain't got the stuff.
I have always liked the hollow dark,
the cave, the sealed carcass of the night,
the lightless womb of the closed seed.
You said you were human,
and I laughed until my belly shook the earth.
I Imagined your bones cracking
from the heat of a great fire.
I ground my teeth with the ash
of a few brittle words.
"No one is 'human',
we are alien seeds replanted,
into a fertile blindness.
Humans are the shells,
the pods, the skin of a reality
they have yet to realize or reveal.
The garden,
what you call 'soul',
is a transplanted being,
it lives concealed,
within that alien you.
Keep that garden,
hidden from any who would,
proudly claim to be
remotely human!"
(This is a fictional poem)
Geico.com makes fun of us and now ABC is making fun of us too.
They'll both soon be bankrupt because we cavemen are going to sue.
People belittle us because we're hairy and we have fleas.
They don't realize that we've made some great contributions to society.
You wouldn't have cars without us because we invented the wheel.
You'd be eating raw meat if we hadn't discovered fire to cook meals.
I'm going to get even with Geico.com and ABC.
Then I'm going to kick your ___ because you laughed at me.
the den dark and ripe
the caveman lumbers upward
in search of his mate
10/22/2018
You ask me why I live in cave
Caveman not want to be a slave
I take a chance and look around
I see that people act like clown
Your little ones you not take care
You always running here and there
You drop them off at crazy school
No discipline when they break rule
They spend their time in front of screen
You wonder why they act so mean
They don’t know sex or what is real
By age of ten know how to kill
Government tells you what to do
You give up trying to be you
Purpose of life, make more money
Hate is growing it not funny
I choose a life here in my cave
Not make a choice to be a slave
I took the chance to look around
No way I’d choose to live in town