Best Catty Poems
In the Catholic Schools of the West
All students are put to a test
Their head must go South
With an open mouth
To measure who comes off the best
A priest is never too fickle
An Adam's Apple to tickle
No need to repent
Its all Heaven-sent
The meek love sucking a pickle
Virile men should become a priest
So many are needed back East
Beneath every frock
Likes a ticking clock
Hungry mouths in need of a feast
The Bible predicts that a beast
Will plunder the Great and the Least
So you can do more
To even the score
When you serve this world as a priest!
Catty is my genius cat
Who stopped chasing naughty rat
She prefers reading good books
Down at her favorite nooks.
She always wears eye glasses
To read more stories, not less
Sitting calmly in her poise
In a place far from noise.
Sometimes she crosses her legs
Don’t disturb her, I do beg
If you want to read with her
Stay and slump at one corner.
While reading, she drinks coffee
But she prefers hot green tea
So conscious of her diet
I’ll just smile and keep quiet.
Catty imitates grandma
Her ways are felines’ saga
Doing great jobs not to impress
But for wisdom and success.
A shallow thinker of little integrity
A sycophant stinker and less empathy
A wanting to return to a golden age
which never existed,
with ludicrous rants that serve to enrage
Catty remarks weird and twisted...
Selflessly she married into a family,
it only makes her more inspiring
She won't hear the sounds of pitter patter,
Kamala, her husband and stepchildren matter!
Passive Cat
poor cat -
door mat
Survivalist Cat
Fought rat;
got fat
Cat Fashionista
Blond cat
donned hat
Bad Kitty
Cat Spat.
Scat, Brat!
Too Bad for Too Slow Kitty
Pat sat.
Cat flat!
June 21, 2022
For A Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest
Strike pose
Fake nose
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1 November 2017
Inspired by - but not entered in - the "One Footle Only" contest, sponsored by Judy Konos.
She calls herself Katherine,
She thinks she's high and mighty.
We girls know better,
She is vain and flighty.
Prudence is careful
And a little mean
She is never playful
To her, it is obscene
Prudence is very serious
And finds it hard to take a joke
Katherine doesn't like her
And says she will find it hard to find a bloke
Ginger piped in and said, "I love to dance,"
A rueful Prudence remarked, "dancing,
It puts me into a trance."
Maggie entered looking very swish,
She held a plate that was full of fish.
Maggie was a kind girl, easily pleased,
Who vivacious Ginger often teased.
Pooh! " What's that horrid smell that is offending my nose?
It's Maggie with that smelly fish for our lunch, I suppose.
The girls lazed around chatting,
Meow! Meow! Meow!
Maggie made her exit with a swish of her tail!
This is what we should say.
"God bless Negative Normans today,
Bless them on their way."
Far better than catty cliches!
If poems on farting are distasteful... why have a listing called wind?
(Just asking for a friend )
12/05/21
Catty girls catty girls everywhere
No escape from their hurtful stare
How would it feel if u were standing there?
Say no big deal it's OK I don't care
I do care your hurting my kid!
Don't tell me U don't know what u did
I'm so OVER this behavior that's why Im here
WHY the need to intimidate with lies and fear?
Popularity & fitting in you hold so dear
BAD vibes brewing whenever you are near
Cold calculated drama up ahead.. Everyone stay clear!
You Make yourself feel good pulling others down
UP on your throne relishing your crown
HATE to burst your bubble next week a new princess will be in town!
You see because it's constantly changing
No one is loyal or trustworthy your crown fair game for the taking
WHY don't u take a minute to think of the people's heart that your breaking?
Im appalled starts with girls barely thirteen
WHY does the female population have to be so very mean?
Laughing and pointing others feelings a cruel joke
Is there no solution should I just give up hope?
Well I can give up for I have a reason you see
Its to raise my daughter to be the best person she can be
You don't scare or intimidate me
FAR to long this ******** my daily reality
Obviously your parents didn't teach you morals, class, or integrity
LOOK in the mirror do u like what u see?
What did they do or say to you?
Let me guess u have no idea not one little clue
Well heres a suggestion why don't you stop what you do?
WAKE up and realize that the FIRST place to start is deep within YOU
You can be the one to take stand and stop all the games
ONLY than there's a chance to bring about SOME KIND of change
TRUST me one day you realize it was all such a shame
TOO late than but you'll be the one feeling pretty LAME
Maybe than you'll realize you are the one to blame
Take it from me in 20 years NO ONE will remember your name
I sure wish that I had a tail.
High-boned cheeks and wide eyes would pale
if I'd a wagger.
You may think me awfully vain.
Forgive me, but I'm just sayin'
looks seem to matter.
---------------------------
My name is Nancy Jones
The name of the contest is Tail-Rhyme Contest
Bottle shops are grottos,
I, too, could go blotto,
But that is so not me,
Your catty comments are for free,
I remain, always chirpy!
There was no choice,
but to acquiesce to the rendezvous.
Even though my situation
was precarious.
Your nonchalant gallivanting
had exposed me to bad company.
So far, with diplomatic finesse,
I had avoided any problems.
Hello! I no longer share
your ecstasy with,
what the cat brought in.
So let's meet and chat,
but please, I beg, leave
your dross blow-in pick-ups
at the door.
------------------
3 May 2018
For the 8 difficult words contest,
Sponsored by: Emile Pinet
=> ecstasy, rendezvous, unique, finesse, precarious,
gallivanting, nonchalant, acquiesce
You know how a cat is? The way it awakes,
how its eyes open, for a moment
not seeing anything,
how it blinks slowly
eyelids washing a mind
of anything but satisfaction.
Legs stiffen, stretching out,
paws opening and closing
as it arches its back.
Lithe sinews ripple under a velvet pelt,
its whole body a rubber band of pleasure.
I used to wake like that - almost.
This sleek, self-absorbed feline
who owes me at least
some cursory acknowledgment,
just slinks away without a glance
as I struggle to disentangle
my creaking form from jumbled bed covers.
It has prowled through the cat flap
probably stalking garden sparrows by now.
I make coffee
once more vowing to get myself a dog -
an old one.
catty seductress
wizard of feline wiles
~ whisker trickster
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Oops... do excuse my manners.
I didn't mean it, just came out.
Excuse me please... so sorry.
Wordku: 5-7-5 words
AP: Honorable Mention 2026