Best Candidate Poems

He speaks with charisma and style
He portrays a commendable role
His words seek to charm and beguile
But who should we really control?

His words lift the beat of our hearts
We listen with passions on fire,
He taps into that very part
That leads us to bow and admire. 

But...

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This years race for president is impious.
Making my thoughts ever so oblivious.
So I have made a my own decision auspicious.
If they should win, others would be envious.
That is why I shall vote a candidate so devious.
While others may say he is completely dubious.
At least I...

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The Candidate

The man with his wife wave and smile at the onlookers;
Then descend the escalator in the posh New York Tower.
Melania’s appearance flares of elegance befitting a first lady,
While her husband ‘thumbs up’ acknowledges the audience.

Her consort beams charismatically, business forte in custom suit;
Into which...

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You can run for office with a third party.
Most people will say that is not where it’s at.
Any attempt will be almost foolhardy.
You must be Republican or Democrat.
...

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CANDIDATE
that's my wife's business,
he will make it for you, not tomato sauce but grated coconut sauce which is fried without oil wrapped in banana leaves like pepes.
It is wonderful for a tongue that is saliva due to the rash of the savory aroma of coconut...

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One-percenter Presidential Candidate

Donald Trump
Divulges Presidential ambitions with hair in a clump.
Neil Young song ironically plays on 
While he looked like a mafia don....

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How can I snap out of it? 
Open hearted, contents spilled to the world; 
crying as if that might redeem it, 
self-same reliant, or did I dream it? 
If only, I scream it, if only 
I wasn't so damned and lonely; 
if maybe, just maybe,...

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Become A Presidential Candidate

Out place he or she or she did not scope
And ended up becoming a big dope
When he or she for President ran
They forget to perfect a perfect plan.

Root of all evil he or she finally found
After being buried deep down in the...

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He deserved all our votes and said why,
But attention was drawn to his fly;
He'd left it unzipped,
So one voter quipped,
"If you can't manage that, then goodbye."



November 1, 2022
A Funny Limerick-Make Me Laugh Contest
Tania Kitchin, sponsor

counted by howmanysyllables.com...

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The Comedic Candidate 

Joe Dougherty


Down a path through a wooded glen
Strolled the old hapless comedian
His humor now but a memory fading
His life spent merely masquerading

Things are seldom as they appear to be
And the serious life was not for he
Laughter was his gift to give
But a...

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YOU HATE THE CANDIDATE!

You hate the candidate!
He is a populist demagogue – 
dangerous, deranged and despicable!
You did it to yourselves! You developed 
a “southern strategy”, reduced your once-proud
neighbors from citizens with a mission to whiny
tapped-out taxpayers, impatient and paranoid,
intransigent and scared! Sure of moral high...

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Republican Vice-Presidential nominee JD Vance’s comments about Donald Trump:

In DMs, he wondered whether Trump, “Is America’s Hitler.” (2015)
“Fellow Christians, everyone is watching us when we apologize for this man. Lord help us.” (2016)
“Donald Trump is a moral disaster.” (2016)
After one meeting with Trump, Vance wrote...

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Yes, this is a bad joke
Yes, this is a sad comedy
What an irony
What a parody
Smile and smirk, so you won’t be poked
What a hilarious lie! It is a travesty
Immigrants don’t eat pets
They eat beef, chicken, and pork
Like you and me. All bets
Are off. Let’s be...

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A brand new candidate got elected
The present incumbent got ejected
Lambasted and rejected
‘Tis another novel dawn in America
‘Tis another extraordinary day at the plaza
Of love, unity, justice, far from any drama.

The streets are full of happy citizens
The children are playing safely in the streets
Bring the flags;...

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Why Danny, so cute, but elusive
Ornamental and yet unobtrusive
Preferring to stay
At the end of the day
In locations a tad more exclusive

Why Danny, you see, while there's cheese
In the pond and the voters to please
You could pop in to town
Take the M4 and down
To Devizes (one...

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