Best Candidate Poems
He speaks with charisma and style
He portrays a commendable role
His words seek to charm and beguile
But who should we really control?
His words lift the beat of our hearts
We listen with passions on fire,
He taps into that very part
That leads us to bow and admire.
But his make up comes off in the night
In back rooms devoted to schemes
That seek to convince us he’s right.
For the next day he rises and gleams.
The façade is but glad wrap of fame
It clings to a surface of shame,
It masks every pock mark and crack
It is hard to see past the tack.
We see through the eyes in our skull.
Not through the eyes deep within.
By the time the façade starts to dull
We are lost; for deceit is what wins.
The candidate primps in his cloak;
He is hoist with a self made petard
Mark well how he carries the yoke.
It is us who will find the way hard.
Republican Vice-Presidential nominee JD Vance’s comments about Donald Trump:
In DMs, he wondered whether Trump, “Is America’s Hitler.” (2015)
“Fellow Christians, everyone is watching us when we apologize for this man. Lord help us.” (2016)
“Donald Trump is a moral disaster.” (2016)
After one meeting with Trump, Vance wrote “My god what an idiot.” (2016)
“What percentage of the American population has Donald Trump sexually assaulted?” (JD Vance, 2016)
Vance tweeted: “Trump makes people I care about afraid. Immigrants, Muslims, etc. Because of this I find him reprehensible. (2016)
“I’m definitely not gonna vote for Trump because I think that he’s projecting very complex problems onto simple villains.” (2016)
“Trump’s a total fraud who doesn’t care if regular people and call him reprehensible.” (2017)
“Trump’s cultural heroin, just another opioid for Middle America.” (2017)
On Twitter (X) Vance liked tweets saying Trump committed “serial sexual assault.”
and called Trump “One of USA’s most hated, villainous, and douchey celebs.”
.
.
A song for this:
The End of the Innocence by Don Henley
Yes, this is a bad joke
Yes, this is a sad comedy
What an irony
What a parody
Smile and smirk, so you won’t be poked
What a hilarious lie! It is a travesty
Immigrants don’t eat pets
They eat beef, chicken, and pork
Like you and me. All bets
Are off. Let’s be serious and dark
Migrant workers are looking for jobs
What a spoiled brat candidate! Unnecessary stabs
And sound bites, this time, will not work
Migrants are people too
Yes, I’m talking to you
Who believe in fake news, half-truths and lies
All human lives matter in front of God. All lives
Are special. Migrants are the poor children
Of the Almighty. Give them food and haven
If your ultimate goal is to reach Heaven
It’s about time, the system puts the felon
In his place. Nobody wants a convicted liar
A criminal with a deferred sentence at the border
It’s sad to see a grumpy old con artist
On stage. There’s no place for a divider, a racist
In this day and age, in today’s political scene
How strange, unbelievable and obscene
To see a liar tremble before the Truth
God is Great. It’s time to pray and to play the lute
Immigrants do not eat pets. They are like you and I
They eat chicken, meat and pork, and also enjoy apple pie
It’s time for the judge to send the felon
Where the fellow belongs, in jail, in prison.
Copyright © 10 September 2024, Hébert Logerie, All rights reserved.
Hébert Logerie is the author of numerous books of poetry.
This years race for president is impious.
Making my thoughts ever so oblivious.
So I have made a my own decision auspicious.
If they should win, others would be envious.
That is why I shall vote a candidate so devious.
While others may say he is completely dubious.
At least I feel that this one is ambitious.
So I will cast my vote for, Captain Obvious.
One-percenter Presidential Candidate
Donald Trump
Divulges Presidential ambitions with hair in a clump.
Neil Young song ironically plays on
While he looked like a mafia don.
You can run for office with a third party.
Most people will say that is not where it’s at.
Any attempt will be almost foolhardy.
You must be Republican or Democrat.
Me thinks Hillbilly Vance is too highfalutin'
A big corporate crack pot? Yeah, yer darn tootin'
Gimme Jed Clampet any day
Jethro, Granny or Ellie May
Not a hack for a huckster who praises Vlad Putin!
Woman President
A dream come true,
I was always told it was possible
A woman president
Could anyone have predicted it
Many women have run for equal rights
in the past, we’re here and now
It might as well be you
Worn down is your spontaneous laugh
reduced to a serious hum
Working hard to keep our country free
Gee—wiz already you have made history
In the role of Vice Presidency
A dream come true,
I was always told it was possible
A woman president
It may as well be you
Kamala for President!
CANDIDATE
that's my wife's business,
he will make it for you, not tomato sauce but grated coconut sauce which is fried without oil wrapped in banana leaves like pepes.
It is wonderful for a tongue that is saliva due to the rash of the savory aroma of coconut and banana leaves and kaffir lime leaves and the scent of garlic and the sharpness of chillies.
"Besides your house, near the sapodilla tree," replied Mas Sorjan when Selo proposed that his place was near the goat's cage.
"Yes, it can be an appetizer, when Selo says while lifting a bunch of bananas, baked until the skin is charred it will be really tasty."
I fell in love with Karsita
He is not a virgin
I do not care
He was frustrated by his disbelief
I do not care
He cares
Today, he herded ravines and ravines
Splitting the sun into three parts
Mix all kinds of recipes.
Your tongue will be messed up
What should I do?
What do you need?
Is not a wife?
Is it not the head of the treasury?
What about tongue-breaking?
Like the chaos of a trapped person like the messed up President
(in indonesia)
CALON
itu urusan istriku,
dia akan membuatkanya untukmu, bukan sambal tomat tapi sambal kelapa parut yang di goreng tanpa minyak dibungkus daun pisang seperti pepes.
Sungguh indahnya untuk lidah yang berliur karena ruap aroma gurih kelapa dan daun pisang dan daun jeruk purut dan harumnya bawang putih dan tajamnya cabe-cabe.
“Disamping rumahmu saja, dekat pohon sawo kecik.” Jawab mas Sorjan ketika Selo mengusulkan tempatnya adalah dekat kandang kambing.
“Yes, itu bisa sebagai hidangan pembuka, saat Selo mengatakan sambil mengangkat tandan pisang, dipanggang hingga kulitnya hangus akan benar-benar gurih.”
Aku jatuh cinta pada Karsita
Dia sudah tidak perawan
Aku tidak perduli
Dia frustasi oleh ketidakperawananya
Aku tidak perduli
Dia, perduli
Hari ini, dia menggiring kambing ketepi jurang dan
Membelah matahari menjadi tiga bagian
Mencampur segala macam resep masakan.
Lidahmu akan dibuat kacau
Aku harus bagaimana?
Apa yang kamu butuhkan?
Apakah bukan seorang istri?
Apakah bukan kepala perbendaharaan?
Bagaimana dengan pengacau lidah?
Seperti kacaunya orang kesurupan seperti kacaunya Presiden yang belum jadi
A brand new candidate got elected
The present incumbent got ejected
Lambasted and rejected
‘Tis another novel dawn in America
‘Tis another extraordinary day at the plaza
Of love, unity, justice, far from any drama.
The streets are full of happy citizens
The children are playing safely in the streets
Bring the flags; bring the food and the sheets
To have festive barbeques under the tents
‘Tis the time to be elated
A new President got anointed.
There is a patriotic rainbow in the sky
America's nightmare is indisputably over
Our hope is well, reborn, alive and high
‘Tis another dawn of togetherness and power
Power to the People who've been yearning for better days
Long live America! It's time to wane the blaze and the haze.
Copyright © November 2020, Hébert Logerie, All rights reserved
Hébert Logerie is the author of several collections of poetry.
He deserved all our votes and said why,
But attention was drawn to his fly;
He'd left it unzipped,
So one voter quipped,
"If you can't manage that, then goodbye."
November 1, 2022
A Funny Limerick-Make Me Laugh Contest
Tania Kitchin, sponsor
counted by howmanysyllables.com
Why Danny, so cute, but elusive
Ornamental and yet unobtrusive
Preferring to stay
At the end of the day
In locations a tad more exclusive
Why Danny, you see, while there's cheese
In the pond and the voters to please
You could pop in to town
Take the M4 and down
To Devizes (one 'z' and two 'e's)
Why Danny, you've come from above
Like a glorious bright Tory dove
With the light on your wings
And your parachute strings
And a note signed from Boris with love
Why Danny, we've hoodies that you
Can hug if you're so moved to do
And a little white horse
And a Poundland of course
(that's a 'P' and two 'd's and a 'u')
Why Danny, we wish you were here
Come the day will you even appear
Perhaps in The Bear
Or the Pelican, yeah
Bet you won't pop in there for a beer
Why Danny, Devizes is nice
But in Wiltshire there's mud and there's ice
And Hammersmith's so
Very pleasant you know
(Spell Devizes? One 'D' and 'e' twice)
Why Danny, you're cute enough, true
But you're Boris's man through and through
And you'll only appear
About four times a year
(There's no 'u' in Devizes. Who knew)
© Gail Foster 4th December 2019
One candidate will rave, lie, cheat and molest
The second seems ready to be a hospice guest
But we have a third choice
With a strong forthright voice
Half his mind is brilliant, but a worm ate the rest!
How can I snap out of it?
Open hearted, contents spilled to the world;
crying as if that might redeem it,
self-same reliant, or did I dream it?
If only, I scream it, if only
I wasn't so damned and lonely;
if maybe, just maybe, she
would rescue me,
deliver my dependency,
abolish my despondency,
unchain my love and set it free.
Anchored to her centre of gravity,
magnetised by her protective coil,
nestled in her aura.
Reborn some spiritual suffragette,
and yet, in love, and yet, and yet
time crosses time and lapses torpid,
sunk in the clay of derelict duty,
and fades the spectral memory,
fades the days, the essence of beauty.
No choice of letting go,
no chance of holding on,
everything drifting away,
everything emptied and gone.
Why worry, why fatally ruminate,
pace the foot worn floor,
why be the disenchantment candidate
when you could be so much more?
YOU HATE THE CANDIDATE!
You hate the candidate!
He is a populist demagogue –
dangerous, deranged and despicable!
You did it to yourselves! You developed
a “southern strategy”, reduced your once-proud
neighbors from citizens with a mission to whiny
tapped-out taxpayers, impatient and paranoid,
intransigent and scared! Sure of moral high ground,
you launched your religion into your neighbors’
bedrooms, their genetic histories, their public school
curriculums; made compromise a sin, shut down our
government only to re-open it with calls for a theocratic
state, dragging your god through the fear-funded
excrement of political campaigns, bad radio talk,
planned parenthood vigils, your vaunted Christianity
a department of corrections on a national scale
So, you hate the candidate! A man of anger and intolerance!
But you did it to yourselves, and like the petulant child
whose unforgivable negligence let the fire get out
of hand, you did it to the rest of us too!