Best Bribed Poems
This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke
Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared
Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Mama…
I know I wasn’t there……
For you
Would have placed
A magic carpet
‘neath your weak and shaky legs
Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again
Would have bribed
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain
Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again
Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old
Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark
And lonely soul
Be the girl
Playing games
In a world
The sun won’t set
Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget
This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises
Made so long ago
Created….cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke
I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away
I’m broken
Drowning in the pain each day
I’m drowning…drowning...drowning…drowning
This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….
I stepped in for my first colonoscopy. I was nervous everyone could see
I had a choice to be awake or put out if I was skittish...but no not me
I chose the former so I could watch my own ass on TV
They go right up your canal with a camera like an RV
Imagine my surprise when up my butt they found my phone
The tiny ones they use to make before the smart cell phone
But here's the clincher it was set on vibrate. The doc was suspicious
"My wife insisted" I told him "she bribed me with cake. It was delicious"
Then the doctor red faced handed me something, said "what's this"
I borrowed his bifocals. It was a rolled up playbill. He looked pissed.
"I can explain. It's dated Sep. 8, 2001. That's my wife's 40th birthday
We were drinking. We lost it, got a fancy room right after the play"
He handed me one more thing, a broken pencil if you will
"I'm a mathematician. I was constipated I took a special pill
Then I used math to work it out with a pencil. This one I suppose
It broke. I thought I got it all. I guess I didn't. I mean who knows?"
The good news is the test went well my colon was clear
They found nothing threatening just stuff that was *****
I must admit however ever since that very day I live in absolute fear
That doctor knows my wife's father. I tell you this, in case I disappear
10/02/2014
I wanted
peanut butter and jam
But settled
for bread and butter
I wanted a puppy
but got a hamster instead
I wanted you to live forever
Until I wished you were dead
You promised me everything
it was always less than enough
You lacked imagination
I was never interested in stuff
Instead of substance you offered tough
Me not being understood was worse than rough
You bribed me with attention
so I would hang on every word
I was the invisible hopeful talker
who wanted to be heard
I waited for your pauses
Hoping for a say
But it seemed that you were breathless
morning night and day
Why did I think you were amazing
the true epitome
I believed in your greatness
the carefully constructed history
A lover of self a strange christianity
Your selfishness
became your blasphemy
Daddy, papa,
stranger, ghost
You gave little but wanted the most
I wanted to know you as a better man
You couldn't tell me that I could or can
succeed in life or truly stand
You lacked the ability to be that dad
All I could think was that I was bad
Still in some strange way,
you're the reason who I am and I'm glad.
My life didn't turn out to be sad
The ones in my life
Who I love and who want
I gift them with more than tears
I've learned through my years
the strength of my ears
By listening to hopes
I've alleviated fears
At times I've been their mirrors
By knowing who they are
I've helped them go far
They're better than famous
They are who they are
When someone is loved they feel like a star
All anyone wants
Is to be on the radar
So thanks to you
I'm seen in a way
Today, when it means everything
Things turned out better than okay!
I went to Heaven…..
Why I went there and
how I got there….
now there’s the story.
Went there to plead my case.
Couldn’t afford an angel so
one was appointed for me.
Unlike Clarence this guy already
had earned his wings – big deal.
My dispute centered around
the definition of sin and the
proper interpretation of
biblical references to mercy.
As in, is it a sin to commit a sin
in the act of being merciful
to a sinner?
How I got there? Well, it seems
that Hell has its own version of
the TSA and it is as easily scammed.
The lesser “devils” work for Hell’s
minimum wage and can be bought
for very little. So, I bribed my “devil”
and slipped out of line, bypassed
Heaven’s border patrol, and - Viola!
They were reading me my rights.
“You have the right to remain a sinner.”
“Any sins you have committed will
be held against you in the eyes of God.”
“If you give up the right to remain a sinner
your pursuit of forgiveness and salvation
shall be considered by the court.”
So, here I am – in Heaven!
Waiting for the angels to call my case.
I told them I was taking this all the way
to the top. No archangel was going to
decide my eternal fate. There would
be no plea bargain, no purification in
the lesser hell of “Purgatory”. I was going to
talk to the Big Guy and tell Him he needed
to update his prayer line as many of mine
were returned with the “error code”
undeliverable stamped on them.
Well, anyway, the view is terrific,
the food is “heavenly”, I’m…..I’m….
sprouting some fuzzy feathered wings.
This could sway the jury or at least aid
me in my escape attempt. I hear that the
“devils” are looking for me and “Big Lu”
is really pissed!
John G. Lawless
11/24/2015
submitted to – I Went To Heaven – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Laura Urbaniak
Penny for the guy
C’mon mister give us a penny for the guy
This little ragamuffin asked with sad eyes brimming
Need the money to buy food she said with a cry
We are poor mister tearful eyes still streaming
Overhead great sparking rockets fly,
The girls guy looked sad and cold
C'mon mister a penny for the guy
She shouted as the oohs and aahs echoed around
Great Catherine wheels spun round and round
Sending sparks far and wide, in a colourful array
The smell of hot chestnuts making us drool
November the 5th is a fine fun day
Then through the smoke of the bonfire
Enjoying the fun sparkler in hand …. I saw
A cracker jack was lit by the sad guy
He jumped so high, ran, staying still no more
The guy she pushed for many a night
Was her brother who had been bribed to stay still
He tried but was the fright of the cracker jack
that made him jump and run up the hill.
Penned nov 2 2016
a girl a child a life of 12 years
a by stander an innocent with no sense of fear
coerced, bribed, begged and beckoned
kidnapped, stolen, beaten and threatened
the thoughts now that run deep through her head
is how soon will they find me or soon will i be dead
he gags her, he ties her, he drives her to his lair of death
her heart, her soul, her mind will soon be at rest
he picks her up and puts her in a cold damp room
shes scared as she shivers and ponders her doom
he needs her so he feeds her as he keeps her alive
so he takes her and he rapes her for his sexual thrive
as daylight draws near and the sun starts to rise
all you see are dry tears that flowed from her eyes
with bruises and cuts and blood from her thighs
she was pure no more in her killers eyes
he despised and hated what she had become
unknowingly ignoring what he himself done
his anger and temper begin to arise
as he contemplates death for this young girls demise
he cuts off the cord from the lamp on the desk
he strangles and chokes her until her very last breath
then he drives her and dumps her small body to rest
the next morning they find her with a note on her neck
saying I HAVE JUST STARTED SOMEONE IS NEXT!!!!
We decided to turn Paradise into real estate.
Trouble was, we weren’t too sure where to find it,
Though experts had located it somewhere
Slightly west or east (left or right, looking north)
Of a point midway between the Euphrates and the Nile.
According to some, it moved sideways a few inches each year.
Computer systems would relieve us of Adam’s curse,
Which many wanted back as soon as they had been relieved,
And Eve discarded more and more items of covering,
And everything (a forgivable exaggeration)
In the garden (the upkeep of which had to be paid for by taxpayers)
Was lovely (or at least pleasant enough for most).
The Devil, who no longer existed (save as a literary metaphor)
Had been extradited on a drugs smuggling charge
And was last seen heading north.
The Forbidden Tree had been cordoned off by
Security people and no serpents were allowed near.
One day we woke up to discover
That Paradise had absconded in the night.
The more sensational headlines read PARADISE LOST,
But this was watered down in a subsequent official press statement
to read PARADISE MISLAID.
As to its new location, even the pundits failed to agree
Whether and if so, by how much, it had moved left or right.
It was even rumoured that the Devil
Had bribed the Angel at the Gate
and infiltrated the Intelligence Service.
The Ministry of Defence reported that a large flying object
Had appeared as a blob on the radar before slipping off,
And some wag even suggested that this was Paradise in fact.
Adam uttered “What the..” under his breath,
switched off the telly – it was an old war film –
And gave Eve a knowing look.
Eve didn’t fancy an early night,
And the ensuing row
Raised Cain.
The Scots, by God,
They drove them out,
With a single Yorkie
At their heels a' yappin'
The Hobyahs tried to fly
Their arms they were a flappin'
Some managed to take to sea
And landed in Hamptonshire,
Yes-serieee!!!
But the British Navy would have none of this,
Big battleships they did send
The Hobyahs saw their doom,
Their plans they did amend
They sailed on to American,
Landed at the New Jersey coast,
The hobyahs could find no better host!
They ate their way from Newark
All the way up to Camden
Avoiding kennels and dog warning signs
There was always people on their roast
Now, much of America
Might applaud this you see,
For most of Jersey's citizens
Were as useless as a rubber tree
Then the Jerseyites came up
With a plan,
They bribed the Hobyahs with
16 barges overfilled with McDonalds
Quarter-Pounders with Cheese-
With big sign saying-
"This Way!!"
"Free PeopleBurgers"!!!!
And Infant Limb Fries!!!!"
Now this was not within
the Hobyah's realm of understanding,
But it sure sounded good....
So on the barges they climbed,
Till each and every one of these fiends
Took to sea, gorging themselves
On what they thought was fast human food
Once out in the bay, the barges were sunk
by remote control
On shore, a Mexican Beach Police Patrolman
was heard to ask Humphery Bogart,
for his beachcomber permit...
Humphrey barked back, "What?- Don't you see the history being made here?
If you're the beach police, let's see your badges!!"
The cop sneered, "Barges?....Barges?????.....We Don't Need No Sinking
Barges!!!!"
(See "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre")
With the kind permission of Marnie Memis (Oh, I Love that name!)
Forbidden love, deadly finales, Cupid’s tragic legacy
An altering agonizing fate, a lover's tale the soul it'll violate
Romeo n Juliet had pure love, pure ecstasy
Forbidden love, deadly finales, Cupid’s tragic legacy
Samson’s lust, Delilah’s betrayal bribed from jealousy
Secrets unfurled delayed, poison secures not heaven’s gate
Forbidden love, deadly finales, Cupid’s tragic legacy
An altering agonizing fate, a lover's tale, the soul it'll violate
True love can't be bought, blackmailed or bribed. It is
a treasure that is given freely, with nothing to hide.
That complete, unselfish, compassionate thrilling
desire, that grows stronger and deeper, as if, a
constant fed fire.
Years can come and go, bringing changes we have
all come to know, but nothing can tarnish that lasting
shine, when two hearts are forever entwined.
Temptations, heartache and sickness, true love will
face them all...standing strong through every test,
never to fall.
If you have true love...then my friend, you are the richest
of all.
Many plan to live for ever
But can only try
Death always visits
No matter how hard we cry
Faith in longevity is ill-judged
Life spans vary
Time rolls by
One day we are welcomed
Another we have to say goodbye
To be distressed about death
Is to want to go on and on
None can out last the end
The biggest question is WHEN
Living and dying are twins
That cancel out each other
Only one can take the stage
But they are eternal bedfellows
The only truth we know
Is that we who live must die
This is our only steadfast truth
Any other idiom is a lie
When we are stone cold
That’s when life stops
An obvious statement
That the daily grind of living cannot forget
Three score ten?
That’s a myth from way back then
You are here one minute
And gone the next
All before you live
The life you thought best
Death is here to stay
It outlives the now
It cannot be bribed
It cannot be bargained with
It just takes as it sees fit
Luckily it only comes
After you have lived
Western wars brought to foreign fields
Bullet barrages blocked by grim guillotines
Petulant petrol fans the flickering flames
Courageous captains solder soldiers together
Teething tigers ripped from mad mothers to
Carry demented decisions from bribed bullies
All hail the casket caravans of yesterday's youth
Parents locked in a loving embrace
Mum was wearing pink satin and lace
Making love on the floor
Their kids burst through the door
Just imagine the looks on their face!
Quickly covering bodies and tushes
They bribed the kids to spare their own blushes
Dad put some locks on the door
Just to be doubly sure -
So when entwined they enjoy their crushes
Contest: Entwined
Sponsor: Broken Wings
02-07~16
The Bible says "thou shalt not kill"
now proudly join the army lad, and go kill,
come back home, and follow your Bible again.
O middle class, your fathers built your homes
with union help, now disperse those union halls
and happily work for minimum wage, six days a week,
chant bribed politicians working for hidden oligarchs
reaping 100 million dollar bonuses, crowded apartments
will suffice.
O Appalachians, your once proud mountaintops now
miles of desert, debauched by profiteers, unbridled by
regulations written by lobbyists, clothed in frothing
chemicals, drowning your despair in burgeoning liquor
stores.
O beautiful blufflands, along my Mississippi,
I see you now, your royal crowns
decapitated,
your limestone sand greedily slurped by
frac-monster gargoyles wearing saville row suits,
entombed in New York skyscrapers.
O broken occupiers, etch your days in Heaven,
on your jail cell wall.
Truths, all truths, build slowly,
but truth must fight on, for your children's children
will know you tried to save our people and planet!
...we must fight on!
....we will!
I handed toddler sour pickle
I bribed him with a shiny nickel
Took a little bite
And to my delight
His puckered face, gave me a tickle
Copyright © 2010 By Caryl S. Muzzey