Richard Lamoureux | + Follow Poet |
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Getting What I Really Wanted

I wanted
peanut butter and jam
But settled
for bread and butter
I wanted a puppy
but got a hamster instead
I wanted you to live forever
Until I wished you were dead

You promised me everything
it was always less than enough
You lacked imagination
I was never interested in stuff
Instead of substance you offered tough
Me not being understood was worse than rough

You bribed me with attention
so I would hang on every word
I was the invisible hopeful talker 
who wanted to be heard
I waited for your pauses
Hoping for a say
But it seemed that you were breathless
morning night and day

Why did I think you were amazing
the true epitome 
I believed in your greatness
the carefully constructed history
A lover of self a strange christianity
Your selfishness 
became your blasphemy 

Daddy, papa,
stranger, ghost
You gave little but wanted the most
I wanted to know you as a better man
You couldn't tell me that I could or can
succeed in life or truly stand
You lacked the ability to be that dad
All I could think was that I was bad
Still in some strange way, 
you're the reason who I am and I'm glad.
My life didn't turn out to be sad


The ones in my life  
Who I love and who want
I gift them with more than tears
I've learned through my years
the strength of my ears
By listening to hopes
I've alleviated fears  
At times I've been their mirrors 
By knowing who they are
I've helped them go far
They're better than famous
They are who they are
When someone is loved they feel like a star
All anyone wants
Is to be on the radar
So thanks to you
I'm seen in a way
Today, when it means everything
Things turned out better than okay!

Copyright © Richard Lamoureux | Year Posted 2015

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Carol Eastman Date: 11/18/2015 12:09:00 PM Not only did you get thru it... You became a great guy who helped others... Not a bad accomplishment at all... And definitely wise... Login to Reply

John Hamilton Date: 11/12/2015 10:33:00 PM Richard your story is so familiar, but we came out stronger. Have no fear Jesus conquered the world, now it's our turn. Thanks for your inspired write. John Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/13/2015 12:11:00 AM Thanks for this heartfelt response. Let's make good use of our turn!

Tim Smith Date: 11/12/2015 1:40:00 PM I really get this Richard. You turned out to be a great many that any father could hope their son would become. Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/12/2015 6:45:00 PM Thanks, my step dad once said that if my dad could see me now he would be very proud of me. That meant a lot to me.

Charmaine Chircop Date: 11/12/2015 7:20:00 AM Cont..Your words misted my eyes..I can feel this poem..I just wish I could write a poem like this one day,let it all out..Still not that brave ,but you aare..You are indeed. A fave. Login to Reply

Charmaine Chircop Date: 11/12/2015 7:16:00 AM Our past and all its sorrow can break us or make us strong people.We can cry about it,or learn from it. Its very hard to carry the cross from earlier years,but with God's help,We will not only accept it,but even embrace it,cuz its the life-story God wanted to give us..Through it we are saved.I have to say my eyes are misted cuz I felt many of yr emotions ..Due to my dad's illness,it ws always luke I have no dad,maybe worse,but like you I tried to be a good being without a dad. Yr wrds mist my Login to Reply Charmaine Chircop Date: 11/12/2015 7:59:00 AM God bless your heart good friend Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/12/2015 7:38:00 AM Wow Charmaine, your response moves me. Thanks, I wish I could fave comments.

Skat A Date: 11/11/2015 10:19:00 PM WOW, at first I was lost Richard, then I realized your Papa, made you who you are. Just the other day, I heard a conversation, in which the mother tells the daughter, how screwed up her life was in the past, she went on and on, how she seen it all. I was shocked when I heard the daughter tell her, "Mom, you are the strongest person I've ever met. You could be anything or anywhere you want, instead here you are in front of me." I was puzzled, at the end I got it. --enjoyed,,, Skat Ace Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/12/2015 6:02:00 AM Good Morning SKAT, what a great story thanks for sharing it.

Demetrios Trifiatis Date: 11/11/2015 8:22:00 AM A biography of love through the eyes and heart of one who has loved and succeeded despite the ups and downs , dear Richard! Loved it! Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/11/2015 8:27:00 AM He could do no better than he could. In the end God was and is all the father I ever needed. My sincere hope is that my dad is safely sheltered in his presence and that he is now the man he was formed to be reconciled in God's image.

Arthur Vaso Date: 11/10/2015 9:16:00 PM Richard, this is heart wrenchingly beautiful, you have outdone yourself again. So nice to be back reading and getting inspiration! Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/11/2015 8:19:00 AM Thanks Arthur, it's good to see you.

Mama Bear Date: 11/10/2015 9:08:00 PM You excelled over the teacher and no matter how wrong he was you were and are the better man. No amount of criticism or putting you down ever did anything but make you the wonderful man you are. You have done and do make me proud Love Mom Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/11/2015 8:23:00 AM Thanks Elis. Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/11/2015 8:22:00 AM In the end he was the winds of the storm that added strength and resilience to me. Your love gifted me with the tender and kind part of my spirit.

Elis Artis Date: 11/10/2015 7:05:00 PM Masterpiece! So relatable and well-expressed! +7 Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/11/2015 8:23:00 AM Thanks Elis.;0)

Njeri Hunjeri Date: 11/10/2015 10:44:00 AM Very nice Richard! I enjoyed this piece. God bless you Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/10/2015 3:26:00 PM Thanks Njeri, I'm always happy to receive a blessing.

Eileen Manassian Date: 11/10/2015 9:54:00 AM So glad that you're the kind of man that you are..... Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/10/2015 3:27:00 PM But for the Grace of God my life would and could have gone in a far different direction.

Punnia Viswan Bhatia Date: 11/10/2015 9:22:00 AM very lovely poem... a kind of grief lingers...but you know what, there is something, "let others receive from you that you didn't get and wanted to get from your so-called loved ones"..love, love and love, like there is no tomorrow! love you for what you are :) :* ~7~ for who you are...and you are amazing.... Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/10/2015 3:29:00 PM You are sweet, thanks for the thoughtful comment.

Casarah Nance Date: 11/10/2015 8:00:00 AM One of the hardest lessons in life it that we cannot change people, we cannot change our past, and we have to accept someone completely for who they are-faults and all. Silly putty people may not be strong as bricks but on the wall, they still help keep the flood at bay. I want to hug you right now my friend. xx Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/10/2015 3:30:00 PM Hugs are good Casarah. Thanks!