Best Beard Poems

IF I HAD A WHITE BEARD
(tune: If I Were a Rich Man)

If I had a white beard
Ho ho rudolph ho ho blitzen ho ho merry christmas hum
All year long, I’d merry christmas hum
If I had a fluffy beard (haa!)
I wouldn’t have to diet.
Ho ho rudolph...

Continue reading...

Down deep beneath fathoms icy keep, where deadmen’s
Scream in utter silences aquatic hell, amongst the devils
Graveyard of wreckage's carnage, there exists a ghostly harbor
Of phantom ships!
Anchored are the souls of the undead, and vessels craft for which
These commended rode upon, tethered by chains forged in...

Continue reading...

Red Beard laughed at this lad
Stumbled on the wrong ship he had

Stowing away on a pirate vessel 
Turned himself in not even a wrestle

Stout young lad must be at least ten
He wasn’t sure of the trouble he was in

To the plank cast him aside!
Then the...

Continue reading...

Santa says come sit on my knee little girl
Got something to show you, see it twirl
Touch it if you'd like
I'll bring you a bike
Notice how Santa's beard started to curl

© Jack Ellison 2013...

Continue reading...

Phil’s caveman look is very weird
He really should shave off his beard
His mother is right
He looks a strange sight
The Neanderthal look’s to be feared!


Since December Phil’s been hirsute
He needs to give his beard a boot
He’ll cut it off in the sink
But his mum won’t cause...

Continue reading...

BEARD MATH
 
1         Forgetful 
2         Cute
4         Fashionable 
8         Dubious 
16   ...

Continue reading...

Some call me looney, some call me weird
Some people wonder what I'd look like with no beard
You don't want to know
It's a horrible show
It can easily turn accolades to resounding jeers


© Jack Ellison 2015...

Continue reading...

(Limerick )


His beard was as white as pure snow
And look'd  like the Santa that you all know
He washes it with rice
And keeps it so nice
And each day rubs it hard to make grow!


Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
Copyright2014

September, 8, 2014...

Continue reading...

Grandma's Beard

Once the great grandma had beard;
But the goat had a kick for her beard.
For a pageant he hired it one day
And never returned.
Look, he wears it till today!...

Continue reading...

There once was a man with a beard.
That people thought was extremely weird.
He shaved it away
On a bright sunny day.
And now he's tremendously feared....

Continue reading...

Had a beard since nineteen sixty-two
Hate to think what's underneath
Might even be a family of boat people
Maybe an old Christmas wreath

Heard that it's even very possible
For animals to flourish and survive
In the depth of my hairy countenance
Where they multiply and thrive

But I haven't felt any...

Continue reading...

I grew a beard to not have to shave,
I grew a beard to age,
Ripe in color, Brown, black, red and Silver entwined, 
I grew a beard, now the kids think I want to be Bret Favre,
I grew a beard so I wouldn't have to shave,...

Continue reading...

Had a beard since nineteen sixty-two
Hate to think what's underneath
Might even be a family of boat people
Maybe an old Christmas wreath

Heard that it's even quite possible
Animals have been known to survive
In the depth of my hairy countenance
Where they multiply and thrive

Haven't felt much movement lately
Though...

Continue reading...

Some call me looney, some call me weird
Some people wonder what I'd look like with no beard
You don't want to know
It's a horrible show
It can easily turn accolades to resounding jeers...

Continue reading...

Old Ferdie had a bushy beard
when bathing some birds just appeared
two cocks and a hen
a rook and a wren
were nesting, it truly was weird!

Inspired after spotting a man with a HUGE beard

1/2/19...

Continue reading...