Best Annoying Poems
The attention span of a hummingbird
She plays the part of the buffoon
With stale trite corny jokes
And mindless ramblings of a simpleton
She plays the lunatic
Filling my head with rubbish
Not a spark or inkling
That silence is meant to be
Appreciated and treasured
She spews out her platitudes
One after the other
Just mindless chatter
Shared indiscriminately
Unabashed and shamelessly
Endlessly going about
Littering perfect silences
But she is pretty
AP: 2nd place 2020
She's in love with the sound of her own voice
The pitch the tone the octave
Her one favorite topic is herself
She loves her audience captive and attentive
Their politeness is nothing short of adoration
Convinced there's no topic more worthy of the podium
She pictures herself filling the city stadium
Why else would she practice delivering monologues
She constantly craves to hear echoes of applause
Won't entertain the thought of nothing less
Imagining thunder of roaring standing ovations
She's bold she's grand she's totally delusional
Many have tried to break her but she's steady won't back down
She stands tall like a medal winning million dollar baby
She's always been daddy's girl and can do no wrong
AP: Honorable Mention 2022
Vigilante wannabe
Intentions always good
Lost causes are his nemesis
Loyalty his strength
Abysmally annoying
Gauche socially to say the least
Egomaniac~ there’s one in every village
AP: Honorable Mention 2021
no one understands
what i go through everyday
everytime i have plans
they mess up in some way
making a video, hanging with my friends
playing on the computer or just having fun
all gets ruined
when he walks in
he ruins one of my things
so i yell at him
i make him come closer so he can hear
then he cries and throws a fit
i get in trouble and get grounded from something
he continues to torture, annoy, and yell at me
hes old enough to know not to and be punished fairley
but NOO i have to continue to live like this
girrrrrr
~Brittany Amsden~
Enjoying a placid lake, so quiet
Fox trotting, sniffing the ground-
Then a loud, shrill scream of a
spoiled child.
Serene path, I walk as the guest of light breeze,
hand in hand strolling with my love
Then clouds burst into a sprawling
northern freeze.
Dirty snow, a rude employee, greedy people taking
what they please.
Liars, tall talers, lying for no need
Satisfied grunt of one who pays
no others heed.
A cruel hand bashing the weak
Evil words one so disregardingly speaks.
As with the offender, it is trouble
he always seeks
Leaving work from such a long day
pleased to relax my way
A homeless, skeletal man asking
for some change- the pity
Turned my thoughts gray
Snap your fingers, get it done quick!
Threats of any kind make me sick
A long drive just to get away Pitch and tent
and the ants come to play!
Racism, sexism, and ignorance
for no reason
This is not just annoying
And never changes with the season.
Those who take for granted
the love of family so readily given
Treating therm so terrible
Spoiled, rotten smart- mouthed
so selfishly driven
Sentient redwoods slain
Numerous bretheren of the
endangered nature die in vain.
These are a few things that annoy me-
Self important people smiling in that
bleach white grin-
For ever sneaking and canniving
under that sh++ eating grin.
My mirror continues to annoy me
Its contorting the face that I see
I cant be that old
But the truth be told
My birthday and the image agree
ANNOYING GAME
Annoying Game
Cheers
quite annoying
voices mutter
quiet chatter
huddled in confusion
Boring broadcasters
feigns excitement
children watching
not so mellow drama
The curse preventing
Felix the cat's first act
more chatter accompanies
horrible organ music.
Resounding cheers
Greeks speaks
plays called.
"he walks the bases "
on cleats.
Dinner is served
on T.V. trays
Uncle does not move
He sits on the throne
commandeering black
and white screens
with rabbit ears.
I wait for the final cheers
Of the win, Yes, It’s over
or the Boo's for losers
Baseball, way to ruin
a child's summer.!
I
was
about
half way
through down-
loading an update
for iTunes, when I was
interrupted by a pop-up
window asking me if I wanted to
download an even newer version of iTunes …
two guys walk into a force field gain a power and walk into a store...
Why dose she look like that?!
Who that Mexican?
she ain't Mexican she Arab...
what is she saying that annoying **** she is saying like Dood the whole time
how can she live?!?
so they take her into a lab and the doctor says
"Gentleman, her head is like as big as a dome"
I wanna go to a poetry cafe....
In a pink beret and two giant earrings
Sporting a very serious intelligent expression which is obviously not my own
So ill borrow it from some super being like Steven Fry
Just for the night (he can sit at home looking daft, looking me)
As i fly into the realms of fantasy
Stood in all my regalia, pink floral wellies and beige checkered hacking jacket
Purple courderoys
Spilling my beans
My limited means of getting my
Very
Unimportant
Point across.....
Whilst
The avante guarde and Mrs Bohemian nod and shake
As my word snake slithers from my agile tongue
The one which spits bile
the one which wreaks havoc when im just being mum
I wanna watch the candles flicker and smoulder
With a man bag over one shoulder
Chuffing
One
Giant Havanna cigar
Peace man, way out, too far.......
I wanna travel triumphant on the train
Back home again
Resting my feet on the opposite seat
(just because its wrong)
Leaning drunken pon my wonky umbrella
Singing that most annoying song
'Pardon me Sir..... is that the cat hoo chewed me new shoes? '
Whilst bemused commuters gaze on
Why ever not!
Cause Im a whimp...thats why
Getting old is annoying.
My bones begin to creak.
Especially in the mornings.
Trying to get out of my seat.
My 20/20 left me
A long time ago.
My hearing is fine.
If you talk slow.
No matter how I diet
It makes no odds at all.
My waistline is spreading.
My mirror is appalled.
I walk into a room.
Then wonder why I'm there.
I daren't reach above the cupboard.
In case I fall down from that chair.
I'm sitting in a cool breeze
When I feel the heat rise.
I am like an oven.
Regardless of the weather outside.
Getting old is awful.
Now I cannot get the guy.
I must just take my knitting out.
Sit in my rocking chair and sigh.
Can one not speak in verse to the page?
As if it were Darwin instead of David?
The words would flow better,
and not be hyperboled from California to the Atlantic.
That act of styling would not work well.
Well, not in this sense of Socrates opposed to Tom Cruise.
The words would be simpler,
and with that, be a strike in the baseball game of wordsmiths.
Can this be rhetorical?
Only if the force of gravity on the moon is
six times lighter than on Earth.
This poem on politics of poetry shall be written in verse.
Only allowing the meaning to be mass, and the structure, weight.
Timeless meaninglessness chatter in ever increasing monotony. Numbers cause numbness in a bridging bus. Brief journeys epoch of encounters. Noise emitted from high circa stereophonic voices. Who paste the atmosphere with hyperness. Primarily caused by the plastic ingested. Cackle cackle cake and burgers. Hypertension from induced formulas. No natural kiss in a plastic smiling box. Unreal. Surreal. Dual reality. Yet the artful pendulum swings. Reaching. Retching. Roarings. Radios. Tampering trampling. Opinions of the other world. In a flurry of sub class division. Associated. Association. Reaching of a radioactive decay. *** calamity.
A troll followed me home one day,
Looking to bring me down.
I told it I didn’t want to play,
To go dig a great deep hole,
Roll its little soul into the black hole.
It didn't matter where I went
It just wouldn't go away.
The troll climbed up the phone pole
Stuck its drooling tongue out and scolded.
I had troll in my soup bowl,
Troll in my egg-roll,
Troll my keyhole,
Troll in my buttonhole,
Troll in my toilet roll,
Troll in my toilet bowl.
It followed me to school and crawled
Into my cubbyhole.
It followed me to the barber shop
Sat on top of the barber's pole.
It followed me on my date
Sat between me and my date.
I finally decided I was going to get control,
Ignored the troll and foiled its day,
Until one day it got bored
And slithered away.
3/12/2021
Children Story