This year, my darling love, you’ll receive more than flowers
Jewelry, candy, candles, gifts, kisses and chocolate bars
You will also get your AARP letter and your Medicare card
It’s vital that you take good care of yourself going forward.
Since you’re now sixty-five years old, you should feel blessed
Lucky, privileged and chosen. Please, please never get depressed
Age is always a good number, as long as you’re very healthy
And funny. The Almighty God is now watching over you regularly.
Eat well, drink more water, take your medications and vitamins daily
You’re now a senior, that’s a major step forward and a serious promotion
Since you’re retired, take a walk once a while. And that’s not being lazy.
You’ve worked all your life and have earned fair and square your pension
Your grandchildren and family will come to visit and spend time with you
I wish you a Landmark Birthday. Dear love, a blissful life is awaiting you.
P.S. This poem is dedicated to the sweet friend of my heart and soul.
Copyright © August 2025 Hébert Logerie, All rights reserved.
Hébert Logerie is the author of several collections of poetry.
It's not a prerequisite, of course, but if a piece of writing is any good, chances are it's probably offensive to someone. (Paraphrasing John Irving-A Widow for One Year) So, writer beware...
Words are a writer's stock in trade,
To ply it well requires a versatile,
Not volatile, vocabulary.
With words a writer's claim to fame is made,
But words can have broad repercussions.
So when he writes
He should select them well,
Not just to sell,
But so they don't arouse the scrutiny
Of those guys who comprise Homeland Security
And become the subject of discussions
Of the FBI, the CIA,
The DAR, the DMV,
The IRS, the IRA,
USPS, the EPA,
The PTA, SPCA,
AARP or AAA,
Twitter, NAACP,
The NFL, the MLB,
The LGBTQ community,
The NRA, the PGA,
NASA or the BBB,
Ellen, Oprah, Dr. Phil,
An ad hoc Sunday sermon bill,
Or his city, county, state constabulary.
Another sweet note from the A.A.R.P.
Seems those folks want to insure me
I’m worth only the most limited liability
But eligible for their lowest monthly fee
They say there is a lifetime guarantee
I wouldn’t be around to check and see
If they had looked up my family tree
They’d know I have plenty of longevity
So I’m passing them up on this monthly.
Written May 27, 2022
This morning Joe got up to get ready for bed,
Wife poured his coffee and toast over his head
He put on his pajamas with a favorite red tie,
And set out for work as a local international spy.
He caught the bus at a distant subway station
While scarfing down French toast with bacon
He sat next to an attractive lady with pimples
Who caught him admiring her cheeky dimples
At his workshop he remained in the uber-lyft
Took out his AARP card, and generously tipped.
His workday over soon as he evened the score
His plane took off just as he opened the door.
Upon arriving in Rome, he went to the Louvre
Thought he might stay, but decided to move,
The Spanish did not care for his Russian accent
He bought a house but couldn’t pay the rent
Poor Joe never felt so disappointed in his life
Without a fare-thee-well, he had left his wife!
FIFTH PLACE WINNER
written September 6, 2021
especially for "Nonsense Rhyme" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Charles Messina
the joy
of retirement
sponge bob and sweat pants
Congratulations! You've now lived
a full half-century.
I'll bet you're asking, "What's in store?
What changes will I see?"
As one well past her fiftieth,
I know a thing or two.
Sit back, relax, and listen up
as I enlighten you.
First, you'll become quite popular.
Six times a month you'll see
a letter from a stalker with
the name AARP.
Your inbox messages will urge
you, "Buy Depends on Sale.”
“Our Vitamins for Fifty-Plus
are must-haves.” “Please don't fail
to buy more insurance today--
life, cancer, burial."
"At Shady Lane retirees have
a life content and full."
You'll find some younger people think
that fifty's ELDERLY!
Ignore those whippersnappers. Just
how clueless can they be?
June 22, 2019, entered in Emile Pinet's Contest on Aging
February 19, 2020, entered in Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer's Occasional
Poetry contest
Happy Birthday, Son!
on your 50th year.
Celebrate while you can
and be of good cheer.
Son, don't be alarmed
as the years seem to fly by.
just five more to go
and you'll be fifty-five!
"Now, I'm one of those seniors,"
you'll mournfully say,
as coupons and discounts
fill your mailbox today.
AARP will be sending you mail.
And sellers to seniors
will be hot on your trail.
Soon, there'll be less partying
and painting the town red.
Instead you'll be welcoming
a warm bath and your bed.
May God bless all your days, Son,
with His wisdom and ever present love.
He'll always be there when you seek Him in prayer,
Your Savior, your Redeemer from above.
-----Love, Mom
.
Those damn old people with their applesauce, and need for retirement
I giggle at the sizes adult diapers come in,
They haven't worked hard enough for me yet,
We need more cotton picked more tobacco chopped
And more polyester pants
AARP sounds like a senior citizens sorority to me
Oh! how I chide in laughter,
Nothing like a hip replacement with no coverage really tickles the funny bone
I was talking to my grandma and she believes the government does her wrong
But how is that; when you can't even remember what happened yesterday
For all you know they have given you lower prescription payments
I'm snortling to the point I have urinated in my pants
Just remind myself to pick up grandpa's extra big boy bladder briefs
They shouldn't be able to live off of years and years of labor by social security
Besides if they can remember back in their day, they can remember to go get...
A JOB! and while they're talking 'bout the olden days, would you like fries with that?
I'VE COME OF AGE
July 22nd 1947 to July 22nd 2012
I have come of age today
sixty-five years old,
I am of the age for Social Security,
or in some places, Old-age pension,
I am of the age to receive
Reduced Metro fare card,
or as in other places
Free bus pass, Free rides on the ferry,
even reduced air fare.
I have my AARP card
and a list of all the places
that offer discounts and Freebees.
I can demand
those special seats on the bus or train
that's set aside for the Elderly and Disabled
I am offically a Senior Citizen,
A Seasoned Saint,
or whatever you choose to call me.
I can complain if I choose to,
but why should I?
God has blessed me with
good health and strength,
Yes, the ticker is still ticking,
The engine is still running,
even though some parts
need a little oiling sometimes.
I can say and do whatever I please
as long as I don't break the law.
I will enjoy every minute of this time
that God has given me.
This is my time
and I will proudly shout,
I HAVE FINALLY COME OF AGE!
PEE WEE HERMAN
Thought cops wouldn’t determine,
he put himself in that popcorn box.
Maybe he should have used his socks.
HOWARD HUGHES
A world famous recluse.
Millions for planes, women and cars,
treasured most his urine in jars.
CATHERINE THE GREAT
A czarina whose needs couldn’t wait.
Rumored to have a private stable,
with horses…. if her Cossacks weren’t able.
AESOP
May his fables never stop,
true treasures among many Greek joys.
Whereas Socrates, Plato, chose educating boys.
GEORGE WASHINGTON
Add to the amazing things he’s done,
was never caught chewing a mint wreath,
while mixing politics and funky breath from wood teeth.
PONCE de LEON
I hate to tell you son,
you searched Florida for the fountain of youth.
AARP there first, how’d you miss the booth.
MARILYN MONROE
There’s a girl I wanted to know.
It could’ve worked out fine,
if Bobby and Jack didn’t head the line
AARP
Take me off your mailing list immediately.
How many times do you have to be told?
I don't like being constantly reminded that I'm officially old.
AARP - American Association of Retired Persons