Have you seen pink bull with the girly legs?
Why wouldn’t he have boy-ly legs? I asked
We don’t know but he is clearly from Winnipeg
Thinks he is all that, being cute is his task
I found the pink bull on a photo shoot
It was clear from the get go he thought he was cute
The legs did not make sense, bulls are male you see
I took lots of photos, to laugh about later over tea
You must be dressed cuter than most
Tabby’s mother said, in kind of a boast
For we have to get their eyes away from your leg
Tabby knew the score, most girls have two in Winnipeg
Tabby was born with three, no one ever knew how
But her mother dressed her in fashion that was a wow
Today she had on three boots – pink, orange and yellow
She got a wink from a good-looking young fellow
She knew her mother knew what to do
She had already figured out how to order a shoe
Demanding the shoe companies sell some of them in threes
Had to serve them with a lawsuit, this was no kind of breeze
Mince Munseun and Anais Zonte' Dider
Of "Soothing Grooves" Used the
"Audacity Fix" to thrash
The Nepheliums with there manager
Dick Maddox
"Bassy" "The Axe" Kualmurphy
Lucked up with a win over
"Minnesota " Enos Eyecandy
"Spiteful"Spike Soothinjour won
Over the Wolves of Winnipeg
Using a full Nelson to make
Criss Jaw bone submitt
Soothenjours partner sat at
Ringside muzzled and chained
Due to the stipulation, making it
One against to.
"Triffling" Tripe Gulbouis v.s.
Brudda Hollis Bindwinder
Never materialized as Tripe
Was attracts before the bell and
And thrown into the audience
Where four masked men
Bested him. Boxer " Humper" Ric Dais
and wrestler Valdise Ortega came to
His aid. They grabbed the mask of
One of the masked quads revealing
Big Basil Bandez, causing a near riot
As Bandez is a member of the
Championship committee.
The main event saw
Newcomer Kip "Pretty Boy" Hossendale
Beat Contenders Champion Chatt Steamboat
In a. Scientific bout that had the fans on
There feet. Hossendale wins the title.
Mince Munseun and Anais Zonte' Dider
Of "Soothing Grooves" Used the
"Audacity Fix" to thrash
The Nepheliums with there manager
Dick Maddox
"Bassy" "The Axe" Kualmurphy
Lucked up with a win over
"Minnesota " Enos Eyecandy
"Spiteful"Spike Soothinjour won
Over the Wolves of Winnipeg
Using a full Nelson to make
Criss Jaw bone submitt
Soothenjours partner sat at
Ringside muzzled and chained
Due to the stipulation, making it
One against to.
"Triffling" Tripe Gulbouis v.s.
Brudda Hollis Bindwinder
Never materialized as Tripe
Was attracts before the bell and
And thrown into the audience
Where four masked men
Bested him. Boxer " Humper" Ric Dais
and wrestler Valdise Ortega came to
His aid. They grabbed the mask of
One of the masked quads revealing
Big Basil Bandez, causing a near riot
As Bandez is a member of the
Championship committee.
The main event saw
Newcomer Kip "Pretty Boy" Hossendale
Beat Contenders Champion Chatt Steamboat
In a. Scientific bout that had the fans on
There feet. Hossendale wins the title.
Winnipeg, Vancouver and old Montreal
Canada Mints, Inuits, and your lovely fall
Trudeau, Pierre and Justin
Quebecans I can trust in
with Canada Dry in hand, I toast you all!
11/12/22
It looked unassuming and quiet, but when I walked inside
I saw gunslingers and aliens, and a bear dancing as he imbibed.
The gunslingers were shooting, so I dove behind the bar.
The bartender was hiding there, he told me hush my car.
Yes, my Lincoln came with me, and was now zooming up and down.
The dancing bear peeked over the bar and gave me a little frown.
I was snatched up in his giant paw, and he sniffed me up and down.
I was sorry I had ever heard of Zootlefritz, this bar in weird town.
Expected to be eaten, but instead she said “Let’s dance!”
Thought she was a female for she was wearing girlie pants.
We dance up and down the room, but the car ran into her leg.
The aliens snatched it up and took it way past Winnipeg.
Zootlefritz is the place I recommend if you ever feel too uptight.
The gunslingers will humble you by giving you a cowboy fright.
I actually truthfully cannot guarantee the aliens will be there.
But since she is the owner, you will meet my dancing bear.
Taking Canada's Game to the World
Gladiators on ice;
Taking Canada’s game to the World.
A nation’s heroes, of hockey players,
Compete in hockey games
From Vancouver Island to Newfoundland,
And from Tuktoyaktuk to Iqaluit,
And places in between!
Canada’s team: who will it be?
(P.S. I say, “Go Winnipeg Jets!”)
I heard a rumour that I never knew
Santa delivers to animals too
But, throughout the ages
He’s feared beasts in cages
So he leaves till last, his trip to the zoo
Small children, they play the game right
Of Santa they never catch sight
In the Amazon halls
Santa lost both his balls
’Cause crocodiles don’t sleep at night
The Tiger that bit off his nose
Pursues him wherever he goes
Too tight for his waist
The bars slow his haste
He’s just lost an ear and two toes
He bound his foot with a bandana
He’d meant to give someone mañana
The big ape was risky
He looked pretty frisky
And then Santa lost his banana
A coyote from Winnipeg
Snarled but he tried not to beg
He offered him joy
With a nice squeaky toy
Which cost him an arm and a leg
But Santa Claus doesn't know fear
This happens each time he comes here
In ten months or so
His bits will regrow
That’s why he comes just once a year
When man came out
of nature's womb
—God was born
(Winnipeg Canada: September, 1992)
The Perfect Omelet
I think I'd like an omelet
so please find me a giant pot,
a half a dozen fresh kumquat
and don't forget the cheese.
Add a jar of jumping fleas,
2 cans of fancy black-eyed-peas,
do not add pepper, or I'll sneeze
and don't forget the beans.
Stir it often, add sardines,
a couple cups of jelly beans,
a bag of Florida tangerines
and don't forget the beets.
Just when it bubbles, add snake meat
and feathers of a parakeet,
a spoon of honey to make it sweet
and don't forget frog legs.
Add some peppermint, two kegs,
a weasel raised in Winnipeg
and most importantly, I beg,
don't forget the eggs.
What's that you say, no eggs today?
I guess I'll put this pot away!
I'd like an omelet the most.
Guess I'll settle for some toast!
A Canadian Love Song
Like JFK with Edgar Hoover,
I'm completely ill at ease:
it's as if I'm in Vancouver,
but I speak no Cantonese.
A Mountie's boot must have its stirrup,
they say Brooke Nevin needs a fattener:
tooth decay loves maple syrup
(look what it did for William Shatner!)
I yearn for something quite profound,
my very own deep inner need,
just as Puget boasts its Sound
and Calgary its Stampede.
Like "foo" means nothing without "fighter",
an ice rink's bare without a puck.
Mike Myers lacks a decent writer:
I think I need a cute canuck.
I hope one day I will be ready
(when Justin Bieber gets a life!)
- Jeanette MacDonald, Nelson Eddy -
to woo you as my Winnipeg Wife.
Queenie Meg went to Winnipeg
And she dropped off on a powder keg
But there near The Forks
Stood the megadorks
They said," She did it is for a gag".
Jimmy Jones from Winnipeg
Celebrated his birthday with a keg,
That round container full of beer
Was kept by Jimmy oh so near,
That night he fell and broke his leg.
In Winnipeg Park
Winter comes like a cat
Feeds on human warmth
Grows into a lion, gnaws
The hearts, scars bleeding, he melts
Winters End - Poetry Contest
Sponsor SKAT A
Poet: Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
11 January, 2015
SUN UP NEAR WINNIPEG
Endless black land sewn to pink sky
Flawless dawn over the sown field
Crack of gold splits the seam
Pink is flooded with mauve
Land is spread with sunshine butter
...........................................................................
Entered in Francine's contest
( Chosen category is NATURE )
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.