I cannot tell what the dickens his name is.’
(The Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 3, Scene 2)
by Shakespeare
I have a real tale to tell
of two cities.
I need an author
of some note.
I heard of one whose
first name is Charles.
My name is Oliver and by
some twist of fate, I can’t
remember Charles’s last name!
What the Dickens! Santa ain't wearing knickers
well his pants got caught inside the chimney
now here's the kicker...
Little Joe woke up in the middle of the night
and gave Santa such a jolly fright
now here's the kicker...
It was drafty there wasn't any gas nor heat
Mrs. Chump snored upstairs like dead meat
now here's the kicker...
Mr. C was 5 feet tall and wasn't a Clause at all
he didn't know how to rob Peter to pay Paul
now here's the kicker...
The real Ms. C owned a solar panel, Oh what fun
gave it to Ming Ming who flew like a Son Of A Gun!
now here's the kicker... Eh !
He burned Santa's pants then laughed, giggled, scoffed
but as Santa danced around the sun poured in the loft
now here's the real kicker...
Christmas was a blast now little Joe C could finally be,
toasty as a glow worm in a house built for three.
Merry Christmas Everyone !
Love,
From Santa's Girl :)
I was asked to write about u
With which l became confused
My understanding of what was required
Left me feeling somewhat bemused
A little unclear
And somewhat in doubt
Whether it is the alphabet or “U” words
Or Me (U) I write about
Well, “U” in the alphabet is letter twenty one
In between T and V at the very end
A tight gang called “The Vowels”
Are “U’s” best friends
Ululate ,unasinous ,ucalegon
“U” words just to state a few
What the dickens they mean
I actually haven’t a clue
Lastly, me in this “U” poem
Well , I am not that interesting it’s true
To be quite honest
I’d rather talk about “U”
I
If u loved, you may write sound poetry;
If u loved & lost, words add a higher degree
Of lonely beauty and crowded clarity
As was true of Dickinson, POET, Lady, my EMILY
II
Life and breath can yield great writing
Love and loss point to truth, reuniting
Where all are level, Scripture doth remind
Before this act, stage, LILA in Hindu mind
George judged 'the classics' pretty slim pickins
Reading them, his mood soured and sickened
George much preferred trash
Which cost little cash
Then he tried Shakespeare ~ said, 'What the Dickens!'
Little Danny Hedgehog
Just a-walkin' in the garden
Kissin' up to kittens
Hmm... What the dickens
Danny says, Please pardon
That I was in your garden
Kittens' tit for tat ~
Get lost, you spiky rat
My cat went a roaming to find a new home.
Sing kitty,sing katty,sing Oh!
This cat was so clever he had his own comb.
Look up,now look down,stone the crows!
He went into the neighbours' and drank all their milk.
Sing,fridge raiding kitties.No,No!
Then he laid himself down on a piece of fine silk.
Sing,what the dickens,my lovely pillow!
He went to the butcher and ate all the steak.
Sing greedy,he's ruined my flow.
Then he went to the hairdresser for a shampoo.
Where else can a puttitat go?
He had no plastic,no money,no cheque!
Sing,cheater,sing creature,sing woe.
She sent for a Copper who paid the cat's bill.
And so my puss came out all aglow.
Now my cat was glossy and plump and refreshed.
Sing:fancy,it all goes to show.
So he came home and said this place is best.
And he picked up his cello and bow.
He scraped some Sibelius and also some Grieg.
Sing: Northern lights can always glow.
But,he looked so self satisfied,I felt annoyed....
One should not let one's narcissism show.
But he was so handsome,I was glad he came home.
Sing,grateful,sing katefull,sing Ho!
And I hope he will never again want to roam.
Sing glory.sing story;Sing So!
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