Twain Poems | Examples

Trump when proves Mark Twain right

Ignorance, confidence-- what you need--
Just two things in all life to succeed.
Mark Twain said this long back
For an awkward knave jack,
Here is Trump to prove him right indeed.
____________________________ 
Happenings |20.09.2025| Humour, politician, USA

Premium Member Dancing in the Rain

                                            Dancing in the Rain

                                           Let`s dance in the rain,
                                           Come and be my twain,
                                                Let us not worry,
                                               Let us just be free
                                            And dance in the rain.

Premium Member Twain Quote number 10

'There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.'"[
Attributed to Mark Twain


anyone can tell a lie but it takes a politician to tell a statistic


Premium Member Twain Quote No 9

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
Mark Twain


If that is the case~ how come I still make so many bad decisions

Premium Member Twain No 8

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
Mark Twain

at least I can still count to ten and spell cat

Premium Member Twain No 7

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.
Mark Twain


I have a ton of experience~ why am I still making bad decisions


Premium Member Twain No 6

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain

I can’t remember what I said yesterday so it must all have been true

Premium Member Twain No 5

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Mark Twain


we have two wonderful border collies~ I prefer their company

Premium Member Twain No 3

Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
Mark Twain


Ok.

Premium Member Twain No 2

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Mark Twain


no wonder Washington is a stinking cesspool!

Premium Member Jumpin Frog

Jumpin' Frog 

My name is Dan'l Webster
this is my story and I'm stickin' to it
I'm green with a long tongue
wet, slimy skin for a coat.
I eat all sorts of insects
but flies, now there’s a delicacy.
Used to live in a pond
till Jim Smiley took me.
Sure do miss my family
and all my friends.
Had a good job
racing others of my kind.
Jim would bet money
with others of his kind.
I was the best. I could
out hop another for distance
and speed. Twasn't hard as
I was rewarded with flies.
A stranger appeared one day
looking to bet with ole' Jim.
He needed one like me, so
I was left with the stranger.
Whilst Jim went out for another
like me, that stranger filled me
with big round lead balls.
Don't taste like any flies.
Jim came back and bet $40
that I could beat this new
challenger. Well, someone
said go and I couldn't move.
Jim lost his 40 smackers and
was madder than a wet hornet.
When the stranger left, Jim
picked me up and I felt heavier.
He turned me upside down
and I croaked and them metal
balls rolled out. Jim was upset
but couldn't find the stranger.
I never raced in Calaveras County
again. That's my story and I'm
stickin' to it.

Premium Member Mark Twain

American humorist and writer, Mark Twain
born as Samuel Clemens, his name in history does not wane.
He attacked Big Business with “The Gilded Age.”
An observant journalist as well, Twain was very sage.

Mark Twain

Twain writes ahead
Of his time, yet
Died penniless.

Premium Member i've never read a poem in my life

mark twain claimed never to have read a book 
yet his personal library had over three thousand volumes

now that is bizarre 
but books do look good in a drawing room
or whatever kind of flippity floppity floop
you live in
you feel me?

i've never read poetry i tell people
they say, "yeah, it shows"
i say they can go play in traffic

hit me with a horse
the cold never bothered me anyway

Premium Member Never the Twain Shall Meet

Puzzle pieces are made so that they interlock,
but sometimes one of us gets bent out of shape,
and no matter how hard I try to make you understand
you're like that misfit puzzle piece with eyes agape, 
acting like you're always right, but stubborn as a rock.
Our differences are like the pieces of a puzzle called life.

You and I can be like that, obstinate and headstrong,
not willing to give an inch, no matter who is wrong,
and it's the reason why we cause each other strife.
We're as diverse as a pitch black night is to daylight.
That's why our opposite opinions become an argument,
in which we use bitter words in a rage to vent.

I doubt we'll ever find the patience that we need
for one of us to give up the fight and finally concede.
If one of us it has to be, I'm sure it will have to be me
because long ago I learned not to do battle with the devil.
The way to make our pieces fit is to agree to disagree.
I'd rather enjoy life that way, before stooping to your level.

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