Best Twain Poems

**“Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.” – 
American Humorist/Author Mark Twain (real name Samuel Clemens) 



Prestigious lawmaking bodies are comprised of solons*
Some find it hard to refrain from comparing them to cons

Few legislators know the ramifications of bills
And...

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The Wit of Twain

I recollect, Pa always used to say

There is no pay if you don’t stop your play

Maybe figured I'd learned

Knowledge not given but earned 

Life is a success if you don’t delay
© 6/20/2015 

Mark Twain Quote:*The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Contest...

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Come lay your breasts…upon my chest…..
………and we’ll  reminisce………
About the bliss…of our first kiss……
………as now love is amiss….. 
You must confess…when we first kissed….
…..our sweet love was bliss…
As time worn on…your love seemed gone…
……….we had sworn upon……
 The lonesome truth….romance aloof…
…..cause our love needs proof…
Lay...

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Mark Twain once said “kindness is a language the deaf can hear
And the blind can see” what a clever analogy, it's why he's so endeared
Loved by the millions
A mind of such brilliance
Thoughts of him make us smile and to our eyes bring a tear...

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When you are writing a poem
or a book or your name a letter
you must use plenty of flourish
which to me means something
must shine out to be seen
and noticed and remembered
by whomever is reading your creation
Mark Twain said that using 
the right word can be compared...

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He spends one more day in his bed.
To-do-lists run all ‘round his head.
Noon came and then passed,
he’s still on his ass.
A hard day of work, he most dreads!


“If man had created man, he’d be ashamed of his performance.” – Mark Twain...

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That Shania Twain
Drives me insane
She croons out the songs, “In my Car”…..
My glorified feminist is “SHE”

The ferocious female hunter
She knows when to be feminine
“Man! I Feel like a Woman!” is what gets her prey
Oh, Shania, “I’m Jealous!”

Confident of her sexuality
Yet, “She’s not Just a Pretty...

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The two logics of twain
can drive one insane
if one doesn’t learn refrain
from the one marked as Cain
learning refrain, voids the pain

Love marked concept as Cain
also Able precept was very plain
that a soul might learn refrain
that two brothers avoid the pain
Love is life and voids afford...

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LIMERICK

You can have the two kids but not the hound
And I'll need the Caddie to get around
Said she I'll take the house
You good for nothin' louse
By your cock and bull I will not be bound

HAIKU

love that drifts apart
like two diverging rivers
ne'er to flow as one

COUPLET

Their...

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In Hannibal Town

Tom Sawyer Conspiracy

Can you say White Wash? 

...

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Wildly

Witty

Very

Scary

Some say Mark Twain was wildly witty

But I found one tale very scary



(Tom Sawyer’s travels through the cave scared me as a child)...

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MARK TWAIN SAYS*

I used to be a quiet guy.
I finally found out why;
I once saw a quote that stunned my brain
that was writ by the great Mark Twain:
"It is better to keep your mouth closed 
and let people think you are a fool
than to open...

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The Ancient mutiny of the Twain

In the beginning were both made
To dwell in unison and not to trade
You abode with each other in Eden
And never was anyone a burden.

The Author made one with the soiling sand
Molding him beautifully like he had been caned
So there he...

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There's more than just twelve feet of twain 
between total happiness and emotional pain
It's unfathomable, for they shall never meet
The distance is similarly much the very same
as is substantial derision 'tween cold and heat
There is much disparity amidst goat and sheep, 
although they both have...

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This is the tale of a soul reaching out to others,

		  but receiving a cold shoulder wherever she goes.

							           Words and phrases

								are misconstrued,

							meanings attached

				which cloud the issues

			which she wishes

		     ...

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