Bewilderment and toxicity,
Is all I could see.
Living for so long,
In this world, trying to be strong.
I tried with all my might,
To win such a long drawn-out fight.
Until one day the darkness nearly won,
Darkness and I nearly became one.
Then one small light shown in the distance,
My soul was finally taking a stance.
I am worth more than this mere ending,
I am worth love and befriending.
I walked away from all which held me down,
You won't believe what I found.
Joy, peace and people who cared.
It was there for me, if only I dared.
I picked up my pain and sadness; I put it away,
I'll deal with that yet another day.
Now I know who I am, and what I will do,
I will seek the help I need and always praise you.
there had been no warning on the flask
no caveat for self-inflicted poisoning
just a devilish delusion of filling the void
it was not the corkscrew that messed it up
but bottle to mouth resuscitation blacked out
all emptiness until surrender meant hope
The cacophonous din of troubled minds,
intrudes rudely into our sacred space
and momentarily tranquil eye blinds,
although we soon recover, by God’s grace,
choosing to release the toxic embrace.
Perhaps the immersion is but a test,
brought forth by the universe in light jest
but be that as it may, we soon restore
vibrance of presence, which is by God blessed,
for we ride the boat, He Himself does oar.
Take me back to the dime bag days
when we were hotel hippies,
thirsty for trouble and stuck in a state
of delirium.
Our souls were scattered messes
among the unbent hills -
dreaming of rebellion and freedom,
pockets empty, heart's empty
Having no sense of direction and
craving toxicity like it is a
natural remedy. We were walking
disasters, baddie two shoes.
As each day is ending
To our beds our bodies wend,
Balance restoration
Is a necessary end.
Send back the negativity
Restore your inner calm
Regain your stolen energy
Equilibrium your balm.
Break the cycle of toxicity
Crack open wide the sour,
Release your positivity
Let kindness be your power.
After injection,inhalation,or ingestion,the first symptoms to appear are muscle spasms.They appear very quickly after inhalation or injection within as few as five minutes and take somewhat longer to manifest after ingestion,typically approximately 15 minutes.With a high dose,the onset of respiratory failure and brain death can occur in 15 to 30 minutes.If a lower dose is ingested,other symptoms begin to develop,including seizures,cramping,stiffness,agitation and hypervigilance.Seizures caused by poisoning can start as early as 15 minutes after exposure and last 12–24 hours.They are often other adverse symptoms, including hyperthermia,rhabdomyolysis,myoglobinuric,kidney failure,metabolic acidosis,and respiratory acidosis.As poisoning progresses,tachycardia(rapid heart beat),hypertension(high blood pressure),tachypnea(rapid breathing), cyanosis(blue discoloration),diaphoresis(sweating),water-electrolyte imbalance, leukocytosis(high number of white blood cells),trismus(lockjaw),risus sardonicus (spasm of the facial muscles),and opisthotonus(dramatic spasm of the back muscles,causing arching of the back and neck)can occur.
Note.Chemical Drink,Drugs and Injection Game.
Bitter.
To have known you;
my heart exposed of its greatest ability
to give in and deliver to unrequited love.
My lips should've refused to kiss,
caressing your own,
revealing my softest touches.
Eyes should have shut off,
taking in the desires of you;
painted you anew,
moulding you, in my own image,
delusionally profound.
You rejoiced in my attempts,
catering to your emptiness,
whilst aching and mistaking.
Intuition should have screamed!
Left alone to paddle my brokenness
for it seems, this was of my own doing.
An excuse to surrender
to the manwhore you are.
Bitter,
for until this day,
I'm still learning to accept,
to reject regret and move along,
so long.
12 July 2022
Toxicity for Two
Was it Me
Is it You
Games
Blame
Shame
Pain
Two Changed
Never the Same
Love
Hate
Rage
Center Stage
Emotions Caged
Enslaved
Price Paid
Max went to a priest for advice
But was told she had to act nice
If Max had the balls
To answer such calls
Transgenders would be throwing rice!
If what you say is laced with toxicity ~ try positivity
Alexis Y.
11/20/2020
Your toxic nature corrupted me
But I still don’t want you to leave.
Here I lay in wanting
Here I lay with need
To hear from you, In desperation
My psych, your thought does feed
But how
The last of us was bitter
Twisted, confusing, and deceiving
In trying to do the right thing
Your frail heart I was mistreating
But how
Can I live without your voice
Shall I thrive without your thought
Your mind brung me to life
Without your presence, my soul shall rott
The Truth Is
I want to hear from you
I want to hold, hug, and be near
But after all we've done to one another
The toxicity is lucid,clear
The Truth Is
We are toxic for one another,
And neither shall take the blame,
You're my addiction, I'm your affliction
You are my twin flame
With words that attack
I will bring you aback
To explore pains you have hidden
Resurface memories that you have long ridden
Venom like a snake bite I'll be leaving my mark
Leaving you alone and lost in the dark
Toxicity in nature questioning how long it will last
Can you feel the devastation of your past
My mind is toxic! Too many ideas form in my mind, Bouncing around my skull, But few escape. They need to be set free, But they cannot. Like Lake Michigan Being filtered through A coffee sieve, So do my thoughts escape. My hand can’t aid me, Only my lips Can be of some relief, But even then my words, They can fail to fall upon The ears of none For there is truly no one Who truly relates or understands.
Tingles and numbness of the
extremeties ,an aversion to the
cold, too many side effects, in
practice to be told.
Listless and tired, stumbling on
into the chasm of otherworldliness
where none but you belong.
Enough, enough! the cry said,
fateful or otherwise, the
future unknown, lies ahead.
you may hear me recite my ps anthology on you tube under my pen
name ichthychiro
check out my short forms @strandpoet on twitter
read my kindle ebooks on amazon
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