Depression taught me a strange religion.
Its god was absence.
Its prayers were unanswered questions.
Its sacred text
was written in all the things
I could no longer feel.
Anxiety became the high priest,
translating silence into prophecy.
Every shadow a warning.
Every pause a judgment.
Every tomorrow
already carrying the memory
of its own collapse.
Together they built a universe
where meaning orbited doubt,
and doubt devoured meaning,
a black hole feeding upon itself.
I stood at the event horizon,
watching pieces of myself
cross over.
Dreams first.
Then certainty.
Then the simple belief
that I would survive becoming me.
Yet something remained.
Not hope.
Hope was too visible.
Something smaller.
A witness hidden beneath the wreckage,
counting the stars
the darkness forgot to swallow.
They cradle absence in inherited creed,
A sculpted sky of words they never test,
Where certainty outgrows the need to read
The fine-print silence lurking in each rest.
They build a Heaven stitched from stolen light,
A fragile citadel of borrowed breath,
Where doubt is taught to bow and step from sight,
And fear is softened into faith till death.
For Heaven lives in language, not in ground,
A story tuned to quiet human dread,
A place that only ever can be found
Within the living, not among the dead.
And when the final pulse gives out its claim,
No gates unbar, no choir bends the air;
Just vast unlit indifference, no name,
Where belief fades into a wordless stare.
The exclusively logical conclusion
of monotheistic-nationalistic strategizing,
rooted in anthropocentric caste-preservation,
is Winner or Loser fascism
AND
The inclusively ecological commencement
of polytheistic-international integrity,
flowering as Gaia Hypothesis caste-abolition,
is Winner and Winner panentheism.
Just as no one could sanely become
a fascistic panentheist,
we already have far too insanely many
monotheistic fascists.
Atheism is verklempt
At its presuppositional attempt
There is this paradox
Which Christianity unlocks
Atheism in unfounded
Relying on Christianity being grounded
Saying it’s atheism we presuppose
But saying it’s so, doesn’t make it so
A pugilistic beating of all that’s airy
Proves our view to the contrary
There is no atheistic foundation
It is futile trepidation
Epilogue
I know you don't want to hear it
Christianity is not proven by "school spirit"
And for your lack of want
Consult the method of Immanuel Kant
A humbling human crack
in every theological
God v Man
divine spirit v human nature
oppositional relationship
Monotheistic belief
in our sacred past,
religiously fine
but anti-polytheistic hope
desecrating Earth's polyculturally wealthy future,
irreligiously not OK.
Anthropocentric passion
and sacred love pleasure
cognitively and intuitively fine,
but EarthCentric dispassion
and organic life displeasure,
not cognitively or intuitively OK.
WE compassion
good-natured climate conservation
definitely fine,
but THEY dispassion
bad-spirited caste preservation
infinitely not OK
Cracks that whet
shared Light inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nib scrapes the page like hiking boots
on river rock. Not for fame—that ghost dissolves
in tea-stained mornings. Nor for catharsis' loot,
though confessional steam sometimes evolves
into verse.
No. It's the hunger: that sly ache
when streetlight bleeds on wet asphalt,
and you taste copper on your tongue, awake
to the hum in telephone wires—a vault
of unsaid things.
You become conduit,
antenna trembling for static's raw hymn~
translating the fracture:
how grief sounds when it hits marble;
how laughter thins at the rim of an empty glass.
Each poem is a compass needle
swinging wildly—not toward truth, but the why
beneath broken sidewalks—the sacred needle
piercing silence allowing the dark sky to cry.
Radically erroneous monotheists
have mistakenly substituted
our co-infested
co-operative
co-invested
co-empathic pantheistic HolySpirit's
naturally healthy
resonant EarthTribal bodhisattva powers
of polyculturing communion love and peace
for messianically monoculturing luster
and loneliness
unnaturally unhealthy
irreligiously irritating dissonance
degeneratively devilish
and idolatrous
and disrapturously ecocidal
false-god demonic
anthro-supremacist power
Struggling to survive
against Othered
fundamentally erroneous monotheists.
To bow at feet divine, yet feel the weight/
Of every fault, each sin he does dictate/
A love proclaimed, yet fire awaits below/
In sadistic trials, our fate does show/
A tyrant's rule, a dictators scheme/
A mind consumed by power, it would seem/
In psychiatric terms, a narcissist plea/
A God who craves our praise, eternally/
If love so pure condemns to fire's embrace/
One questions this divine, omnipotent grace/
A paradox in words, where love and wrath/
Seem intertwined on a narrow path/
Communistic echoes in divine decree/
Where worship is forced/
And freedom can not be/
A kingdom not ruled by Democracy/
But by iron hands of theological tyranny/
The question lingers, in the silent night/
Can love be true/
When governed by such might/
Bible
Bible, past, present, future, history
Bible, life, guidance, life plan
Bible, teaching, love
Bible, friendship
Bible, a mood
Bible, my life
Like Winter
predicts Summer
Dark grey suffering
is not yet total green forest
and blue sky loss
As one cold
lonely voice
isolating experience
need not preclude
warm
yet alone
embracing vulnerable memories
transparent images
anticipating full-bodied reconnections,
compassionate life choices
As EarthTribal respiration
invites EarthMother regeneration
wombs reproductive
eggs
nuts
seeds
Surviving thistles
not yet Othering
weeds
As painful apartheid
is not yet anxious death
nor anticipating life
As isolating trauma discoveries
are not yet therapeutic
solitary thoughts
anticipating glad feelings
passionate
about sacred intimacy,
boundless recovery.
Jesus the Splendor, voice before any sound
Earliest word spoken
Silent kind messenger of primeval joy
Unending bright epiphany
Shining as ageless wisdom who calls you in
Classical wonder before any dim star
Heartbeat before weakened blood flowed
Relieving faith before any sweet tear fell
Immemorial still perfection
Soporific and eternal pleasantness
Timeless patience for you at night
Time-honoured meekness that shall attain the world
High-standing calmness for harsh storms
Elegant righteousness as a crown for you
Saintly kindness to be worn by the elect
Primeval gift from the Father
Long-standing attainment through the Father’s grace
Endless blessing before all things
Nirvana of praise that Mani arrived at
Deathless treasure shining with light
Original soft garment of golden light
Revelation of Jesus, the light in you
Based on the hymn "Twenty-Two Aspects of Jesus the Splendor" from the Book of Hymns (page 48) on r/Manichaeism on Reddit (in Resources of Manichaeism section).
Marymount University is saying farewell to some storied majors
including Art, English, Philosophy, Theology - and Math
Artists will starve or survive, and Writers on AI can thrive
Philosophy's rigors are lost on the West today
Theology to moderns hasn't overmuch to say...
But Mathematics?! - the basis for physics
not to mention ALL of computing
~ For her restoration, I am assuredly rooting!
Inside monotheistic ego aware
feeling
outside polytheistic co-empathic
These inside enlightened intuitions
outside verbal empowering cognitions
reflecting cooperative
in-between positive co-relationship
representing explicit wealth wants
and implied health needs
Win/Win co-relational regard
awareness
noticing all genetic roads lead back
back
back
To outside EarthTribe stabilization
inside
four-dimensional whole system fractals
Winters inside dormant outside
Springing active outside leading
feeding inside wealth of hunger
and healthy thirst
Summer ego/eco-climaxing systems
nurturing nutritional
identity individuation
full Yang cooperative maturation
Falling mortal outside leaves
failing freezing young root systems,
buried inside nuts
and seeds
of potential refertility
Autumn's harvest integrity
reflecting
fomenting inside naked souls
feeding outside depleted soil
Positively regarding balance
tipping winter solstice promise
of ecosystemic past inside
and future outside
regenerations
Yet to EarthTribe thrive
despite genocidal
climate warnings
Inside ego aware
encultured feelings
outside co-empathic.
Being is life that gives life, truth that gives truth
It is not perfect, good or divine
It is simply beyond all these attributes
Immeasurable and unutterable
It is the Silent One of Light: The Father
Knowing is the light reflection of being
Through whom the One itself knows himself
Thought that became a shining reality
Knowing is the forethought of the all
She is Barbelo: The bright Holy Spirit
Willing is the only offspring of knowing
The child willed for the all to come forth
Being anointed by being to rule all
Who also willed to come to the world
He is the way, the truth, and the life: The Son
We whimsically wondered why
wandered victims by
and through our uniquely human history
of sexual trauma
and therapeutic politics
Mythically hinting
hunting
poly-resonant
mono-vulnerable
half full, half empty
gendered pantheology
Spanning spies discovering economic magic
denies political monoculturing tragic
outcomes for godlike monolithic
monotheistic empire-building
Wherein straight white males
disproportionatly championed
a revengeful
and punishing MonoPolistic Judge
polarizing One-1 omnipotent God
While unstraight
unwhite
unmasculine
marginalized
enslaved
and colonized
Would restore Mother Eartha's original
nurturing conservational economy
Nutritional ecosystemic politics
for wellness-natured spirits
Advocating sexual polytheistic immanence
imploring sacred not yet empty
circling recycling interdependence
inspiraling half-full health
pregnant with potential
sacred safety
half-empty zero-0 wombed
regeneratively polytheistic.
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