Speedo Poems - Poems about Speedo

Speedo Racer

...I'm by the pool, sporting a Speedo

Cursed with overactive libido

I did all that I could 

Now, I'm just sporting wood

The damned thing looked like a torpedo


So I used my towel, trying...

Ice Cream Gran 5 - Turbo, We Have a Problem

...It’s heading for our planet at ten thousand miles an hour
To stop it all the experts say we haven’t got the power
All the nukes in all the world won’t constitute a plan
So someone said, ‘All we ca...

Apartment 62 Nosy Neighbour Observations: Part 1: Speedo Handstands

...This most peculiar man
Who did handstands in the pool
Always in the shallow end
In his speedo, to stay cool?

I've seen him dance in the street alone
This most peculiar man
Or out lying on the...

Reconsidered Approach

...A dapper old fellow from Toledo
Possessed a super active libido
Searching for a bride
Then, losing his stride
Finally gave up wearing his speedo.


Written April 27, 2021...

Green Spyder

...When I first saw it
	in the dark corner there
where none would see it
	hidden away from sight

dark green was its color
	in the darkness hard to see
with few bright glitters
	catching the lig...

The Neighbors Cat - Pet

...This passing “pet”
he’s not ours yet
he plays his hunch
stops by for brunch
too big for a Speedo
he wears his tuxedo.
He’s tender, he’s tough
though he longs for the touch
soft scratch, or de...

Speedie

...Sitting behind the sign on highway one
Waiting for hoons the whole day long 
The cruiser was primed and ready to go
To catch the malefactors in their tale of woo

In those days you had to hunt t...

The Man In a Speedo

...I knew of a man from Toledo,
Who laid on the beach in a Speedo,
No muscles he had,
It really was sad,
He had no physique nor libido.

He watched all the slim, pretty girls,
The ones with their...

Silver Spoon

...Dear Mother’s new flamboyant beau
Suggested I should take a job,
Instead I hopped aboard our Lear
And winged my way to St. Tropez
To mope, quiescent, on hot sand,
Ambivalent for Mother, dear,
U...

Photo Bomb

...You may think that I am famous
Can't recall my name but
You've seen me hang out with the stars

Believe me I'm right there with ya
I'm in their every picture
They don't know me but I know who t...

Speed Cops

...Highway Speed Cops
Have speedy tops!:
Motorists they halt
And check every fault
Mostly: 'Are ya alert
"Fatalities to avert?"

To mind speedo metre
Accidents to deter
Cops raise their Trap
E...

Maybe Because I'M Skinny Now

...Sure feel the cold a whole lot more
Since losing a bunch of pounds
Never considered there'd be side effects
And there's surely others I've found

Actually need a whole new wardrobe
Costly to ...

More Than Weather, Can Be Frightful Or Unseasonal Christmas

...Used to be the weather was frightful
People covered themselves from head to toe
Now, despite the fact it’s Christmas season
I see more sand, than I see snow
The temperatures keep on elevating
To the ...

Pride and Joy

...When I was young I had a car
It didn’t cost too much
It didn’t have a speedo
It didn’t have a clutch
The doors, they wouldn’t open
And the roof was non existent
The wheels were always squeaking...

Flawed Limericks

...There is a state of mind known as woebegone
In which one feels like an addict on methadone
The more one tries to feel upbeat
The more one suffers mental defeat
And the mind plays on like a gramop...

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