Speedo Poems | Examples

Joy Stickler

White sand, aqua blue Speedo
Umbrella drinks by the pool
Bikinis taunt my libido 
What a fool, I'm covered in drool

Then, Beach Patrol spied my spit-slick
Flowing from rented umbrella 
They handcuffed me to my joystick
But, I'm still one lucky fella

Speedo Racer

Was by the pool, sporting a Speedo

Cursed with overactive libido

I did all that I could 

Now, I'm just sporting wood

The damned thing looked like a torpedo


So I used my towel, trying to hide

But still, it wouldn't swallow my pride

The shadow from my shaft

Was creating a draft

And it stirred up a crowd a mile wide


The line stretched from here to the border

Trump signed an Executive Order

News choppers filled the air

Bigfoot could only stare

Cher begged, but I couldn't afford her

Apartment 62 Nosy Neighbour Observations: Part 1: Speedo Handstands

This most peculiar man
Who did handstands in the pool
Always in the shallow end
In his speedo, to stay cool?

I've seen him dance in the street alone
This most peculiar man
Or out lying on the public grass
Working on his his tan. 

But mostly I saw him by the water
His banana hammock donned.
This most peculiar man
Some of the neighbours, not too fond. 

But every warm and sunny day
His feet rose above his hands
Waving about in his speedo again
This most peculiar man.

Reconsidered Approach

A dapper old fellow from Toledo
Possessed a super active libido
Searching for a bride
Then, losing his stride
Finally gave up wearing his speedo.


Written April 27, 2021

The Neighbors Cat - Pet

This passing “pet”
he’s not ours yet
he plays his hunch
stops by for brunch
too big for a Speedo
he wears his tuxedo.
He’s tender, he’s tough
though he longs for the touch
soft scratch, or deep rub
purring….Oh God, it’s love.


©10/8/2019

PET – Poetry Contest
sponsor Regina Riddle

Speedie

Sitting behind the sign on highway one
Waiting for hoons the whole day long 
The cruiser was primed and ready to go
To catch the malefactors in their tale of woo

In those days you had to hunt them down
No radar or laser to record speeding around
A follow and time the only way
Get up behind them and let your speedo say.

That was the old Speedie method
To make the road safe in all speeds measured
Now there is no use for for billboards hiding much
Scientific instruments measuring speed and such.

© Paul Warren Poetry

Speedie is a slang term for traffic police.

The Man In a Speedo

I knew of a man from Toledo,
Who laid on the beach in a Speedo,
No muscles he had,
It really was sad,
He had no physique nor libido.

He watched all the slim, pretty girls,
The ones with their hair in small curls,
But nothing he felt,
Down south of his belt,
He saw them as oysters, not pearls.

But that's when he saw pretty Lucy,
The sight of her frame made him goosey,
Libido is back,
They're both in the sack,
The rest of this story's too juicy!

Silver Spoon

Dear Mother’s new flamboyant beau
Suggested I should take a job,
Instead I hopped aboard our Lear
And winged my way to St. Tropez
To mope, quiescent, on hot sand,
Ambivalent for Mother, dear,
Until a moment, most arcane,
Renewed in me my joie-de-vivre:
My brooding eyes glimpsed up to spy,
‘Neath immolation of the sun,
The quintessence of bare beach breasts
And luscious curves of passing femme—
When, up, I bounced to meet her cheeks
And volunteer as tactile friend,
Some intercessor glanced my way
(With barrel chest and tight Speedo):
She kissed that man with bright amour
And life, again, turned bittersweet,
So off I sailed upon our yacht
To test the beach of sun-flecked Cannes.



November 7, 2016
Ten Word Challenge-2 Contest
John Hamilton, Sponsor

flamboyant, quiescent, ambivalent,
arcane, immolation, quintessence,
luscious, tactile, intercessor,
bittersweet

Speed Cops

Highway Speed Cops
Have speedy tops!:
Motorists they halt
And check every fault
Mostly: 'Are ya alert
"Fatalities to avert?"

To mind speedo metre
Accidents to deter
Cops raise their Trap
Errant to surely slap!

"Ya can't badly drive
"An' wish to survive!"
Watchful by the road
They'll not spare the rod!

To escape their knuckle
Always mind to buckle
"It'll avert bodily dents
"In times of accidents!"

Cops diligent and inert:
"Ya mind must be alert
"Don't drink an' drive,
"Ya may not arrive!"

Highway speed cops
Loathe drug an' hops:
"Learn to steer so well
"Beelines lead to Hell!"
So, take time to learn
Genuine papers to earn.

Maybe Because I'M Skinny Now

Sure feel the cold a whole lot more
Since losing a bunch of pounds
Never considered there'd be side effects
And there's surely others I've found

Actually need a whole new wardrobe
Costly to lose so much weight
One good thing I can fit my old clothes
I wore on my very first date

Another thing is I can ask for a booth
At my favourite eatery again
Instead of sitting conspicuously at a table
Embarrassing me and my friends

Even can be seen in my Speedo once more
Showing off my skinny physique
Haven't done that for a very long while
It's been almost fifty-two weeks

For those of you thinking of maybe a diet
Be aware of the side effects
But all in all you'll feel real fantastic
And regain your self respect


© Jack Ellison 2013

Pride and Joy

When I was young I had a car
It didn’t cost too much
It didn’t have a speedo
It didn’t have a clutch
The doors, they wouldn’t open
And the roof was non existent
The wheels were always squeaking
And the noise was quite persistent
It didn’t have a gear stick 
And the windscreen wasn’t there
This was my pride and joy, and so
I really didn’t care
The only thing that bugged me was
Should it begin to shower
I couldn’t get home quick
‘cause, it was only pedal power

Sports Limerick

There once was an Olympic swimmer
Who accidently ate Viagra for dinner
His Speedo grew tight
He was awarded that night
A gold medal as the pole-vault winner

Exhibitionist (On Purpose)

Showing off the ultimate bathing fright,
worked all winter preparing a delight.
Laid off the usual beer,
summer now finally here.
His Speedo package outrageous and tight!


*For the battle of the bulge contest.   It only takes one Speedo to ruin a day at the beach!

The Hooded Warrior

What am I?
Who am I?
I am the hooded warrior.
I strike with such charisma,
I am the inhibition taking enigma.

Who am I?
What am I?
I'm also called the dark knight.
Unknowingly, I approach surprisingly.
Cloak and dagger warrior,
can you see me?

What am I?
Who am I?
The staff of the reaper grim.
A magical staff here for you,
I'm outside, please let me in!

Who am I?
What am I?
A torpedo in this speedo.
A gift meant just for you.
Come hang with my hooded warrior,
and begin something brand new.

Who am I??
Asavvy1.......



Jared Pickett
11/3/09
Asavvy1

My Favorite Suit

Keep the linens, the wool blends, and tweeds,
no need for silk or pressed poplin shirts.
Give me coolmax or one hundred per cent cotton 
Suit me up in a Speedo for laps in the pool. 
Dress me in a matched sports bra and short ensemble for the temperate 
weather
Or a gore-tex running suit with a pair of fleece mittens for cold weather running. 
I much prefer my vibrant sporting ensembles
Outfit me for swimming or running or biking the trails, 
This bright patterned, stretchy happiness costumes my personality better than 
grays, browns and blues.

• Short Speedo Poems
• Famous Speedo Poems
• Best Speedo Poems
• Read Speedo Poems
• Long Speedo Poems
• Speedo Quotes