Short Speedo Poems

There once was an Olympic swimmer
Who accidently ate Viagra for dinner
His Speedo grew tight
He was awarded that night
A gold medal as the pole-vault winner...

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A dapper old fellow from Toledo
Possessed a super active libido
Searching for a bride
Then, losing his stride
Finally gave up wearing his speedo.


Written April 27, 2021...

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Showing off the ultimate bathing fright,
worked all winter preparing a delight.
Laid off the usual beer,
summer now finally here.
His Speedo package outrageous and tight!


*For the battle of the bulge contest.   It only takes one Speedo to ruin a day at the beach!...

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This passing “pet”
he’s not ours yet
he plays his hunch
stops by for brunch
too big for a Speedo
he wears his tuxedo.
He’s tender, he’s tough
though he longs for the touch
soft scratch, or deep rub
purring….Oh God, it’s love.


©10/8/2019

PET – Poetry Contest
sponsor Regina Riddle...

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I knew of a man from Toledo,
Who laid on the beach in a Speedo,
No muscles he had,
It really was sad,
He had no physique nor libido.

He watched all the slim, pretty girls,
The ones with their hair in small curls,
But nothing he felt,
Down south of his belt,
He saw them as oysters, not pearls.

But that's when he saw pretty Lucy,
The sight of her frame made him goosey,
Libido is back,
They're both in the sack,
The rest of this story's too juicy!...

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When I was young I had a car
It didn’t cost too much
It didn’t have a speedo
It didn’t have a clutch
The doors, they wouldn’t open
And the roof was non existent
The wheels were always squeaking
And the noise was quite persistent
It didn’t have a gear stick 
And the windscreen wasn’t there
This was my pride and joy, and so
I really didn’t care
The only thing that bugged me was
Should it begin to shower
I couldn’t get home quick
‘cause, it was only pedal power...

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This most peculiar man
Who did handstands in the pool
Always in the shallow end
In his speedo, to stay cool?

I've seen him dance in the street alone
This most peculiar man
Or out lying on the public grass
Working on his his tan. 

But mostly I saw him by the water
His banana hammock donned.
This most peculiar man
Some of the neighbours, not too fond. 

But every warm and sunny day
His feet rose above his hands
Waving about in his speedo again
This most peculiar man....

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