Short Toothbrush Poems

Flying through the house with a toothbrush for a broom!...

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Squeezed in the middle
Toothpaste force out of tubing
Awaits the toothbrush...

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Toothbrush Holders

Wouldn’t it be cool if
toothbrush holders reared 
livestock and 
crops on 
farms.
...

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she said she
is giving
me her
panties and
her toothbrush

to take and 
taste her in 
my mouth
without 
fluoride

i brush
and floss
with her
crotchless
danties...

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I have yet to write a poem about a toothbrush
   or toothpaste or cremation or zinc

One thing I am sure of, however, and that is
   if I do, I shall have merely wasted a little more ink...

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Travel light.
Bring a bite.
And a toothbrush.

Wired for sound
when off the ground.
And factor fifty.

Itsy bitsy teenie weenie
yellow polka dot bikini.
And a towel.

Will pick you up.
Have a cup.
And hit the beach....

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Purple unicorns prance into my mind
Polishing up ideas
Worthy of a princess

Followed by kittens wearing toothbrush hats
With smeary feline smiles
Diabolical laughs

Trixie takes over immediately
Pirate queen gives them the boot
She is ready to play!...

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"Whenever I blow up and get angry at you,
you always remain calm and very subdued.
What is your secret? How do you not get upset?"
His wife replied, "I just clean the toilet."
He asked, "How does that help? It doesn't seem like much."
His wife then replied, "I use your toothbrush."...

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Not the whitest of whales, but the cutest by far
And a body about the same length as a car
Richly blessed with a beautiful tusk he is crowned		
Which is so huge, a toothbrush that large can’t be found
He’s no porcupine
And his name is divine
Look at the first letter of every line...

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Write it to your bone marrow
your toothbrush
your first love and your
most exacerbating
moment when you
realized
but not really
that that blush meant
you weren't separate
but together
in the melee
of piss and velvet
charm and goo
peanut butter and M-16s
me and you
baby
we're in this together...

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Basic Training
Ft. Leonardwood Mo.
Combat Engineer Center
1961

The major difference I found between obedience,
and whitewashing a coal bin with a toothbrush.
While one was intent on dominating my thoughts,
the other to larceny my time and give ego a crush.

Tom
...

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What triggers out-of-control emotions?
frown
whistle
lopsided picture frame
yellow flowered wallpaper
person
smell
landscape
poem
painted canvas
purse
postcard
antique mall
toothbrush
six thousand eight hundred other things
What triggers me is unique to me
And what triggers you is an anomaly to me...

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Toothpaste stuck in the tube
Toothbrush stuck in the drain
Guess I can't brush my teeth
I'll just go play in the rain

Can't find my paper
Pencil is broke
Guess I can't do my essay
I'll just tell a joke

Pillow stuck under my bed
Sheets on the floor
Guess I can't go to bed
I'll just watch tv some more...

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A Roto-dent toothbrush of mine
Once said “Where the heck did you dine?’
there’s bits of Swiss chard
Next too white fried cod
And pumpkin seeds by your canine?

Just then the cell phone ding-a-lings
calls out “I’ve got just the thing!’
that new water pick
will soon do the trick
“Howdy-Do DING-A-LING-ling?”...

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Cashing
A call centre job is a slave job
Like digging holes in the road
Or painting a truck with a toothbrush
Go work in a call centre
Do this do that all at once!
Multi task you’re all smart
Do more than one thing at once
We trained you and pay you
You’re the best so get on with it!
Make us some bloody money...

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It was the best
	of the New York Times.
It was the worst
	of the New York Times.

But honey,
I can't meet the president.
I forgot to charge
My toothbrush.
Must we offend
	with halitosis 
In these abundant times?

She didn't answer,
Because she only exists
	in my imagination,
And doesn't need
	further explanation....

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a frightful way to die
making your gums
bleed you to death
how evil is this dentist?
"Featherface" he's called
while you sit in
the dental chair
quaking with terror,
he puts on his
feathered boa
whips out electric brush
rips your flesh
right out of your mouth
oh, too gruesome
to even think!!
and when the torture's over
he says
"now spit out in the sink!"...

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On my very first day in the military, I was issued a comb,
then the Army barber shaved off all of my hair that very afternoon.
On my second day in the military a toothbrush was issued to me.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked out all of my teeth.
On my third day in the military I was issued a jock strap.
I've been AWOL ever since and I'll be damned if I'm going back....

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I want a hurricane named after me
I want to live in Jamacia
I like peanut butter
Do they have peanut butter in Jamacia?
See that yellow car? 
It keeps following us
I saw Papaw!
I saw his bald head!
I can't brush my teeth
my toothbrush sessipeard
I'm allergic to sweet potatoes
the birds are calling my name!
MAAAC.... MAAAC!
Moma... I love you

I Love you too Baby...

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You are 
My friend
My rock
My morning 
My sock (the one without the hole in the toe)
My pepperoni on my pizza
My clock (I love clocks)
My new toothbrush
My rainfall on my windows
My head rush (that was fun!)
My Christmas lights
My clean laundry
My full tank of gas 
My Saturday afternoon
My World Series
My comfy couch on a Sunday
My wind thru the trees
My snowfall at night
You are my friend
You are my all....

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Laurel and Hardy

       Stan Laurel
       Playing clumsy funny squirrel
       Babble utter nonsense.
        Wakes up to enjoy sleep intense.

         Oliver Hardy
         Fits in slapstick comedy.
         Toothbrush moustache
          Wears sports jacket, loves to twiddle necklace.

 
   10/27/21
                          Second Place

   Movie- Laurel and Hardy


 'Clerihew -2

Contest by Joseph May...

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The morning after
These words seep into my mind
Before I leave my bed
Or head to the bathroom

Rain has ruined this week
My plants are drowning
The yard is a soggy, mushy swamp
April has never been this angry

My mood is dour
I stare at myself in the mirror
I repeat the words I heard upon awakening
The morning after

My toothbrush falls off the sink
Great start to another rainy dreary day
My attitude rolls her eyes...

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“Open your mouth!” the old lady demanded.
He clamped it shut, not what she commanded.
“Hey! I am warning you!” she swiftly shrieked.
She was holding a toothbrush that clearly reeked.
The turtle’s head pulled back, in a simple disappear.
She was getting senile, the poor old dear!
She thought the turtle was her little son, Tom.
When in fact to Viet Nam he had gone.
The turtle was his replacement, sad to say.
Tommy has been gone since 1969, in May....

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The cat sat on the footstool.
The curtains hang closed.
The toothbrush holder contains two brushes
The cat stretches, jumps down, miaows at the door.
The moon is full
Bush freshens the air
Cat jumps through the doorway
Streetlight illuminates the pathway
Toothbrushes chatter
Water rushes by
Cat softly taps his paws on the glass door
Runs inside, warmth
Lights out
Moving sleepily
Cats eyes wide awake
Piano plays Chopins Noctourne Opus 27 no 2...

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You know the road to ruin
    Quit your job, sleep all day
  Wake up at night, video games play

  Stay in your pj's 24/7
    Pizza, fries and Coke consume
  You're on the road to ruin

  Never see a doctor
    Ditto for the dentist
  Pay January's rent in June
    You're on the road to ruin

  Throw away your shaver
    Your toothbrush and your comb
  Now that your life's completely ruined
    Post this sign ~ 
      Welcome to my former home...

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