Short Scoffed Poems

Disciples sought veracity
From their guru beneath his tree
The great one scoffed with a look sly
“The truth to tell I always lie!”

February 14, 2022...

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Silly Sally scoffed six succulent spicy sausages
Six succulent spicy sausages silly Sally scoffed
Silly Sally succumbed to sickness! 

11~16~16...

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A cook was filling honey pots
Her hand slipped, and she dropped the lot
She was in a sticky situation
Until a bear appeared, and without hesitation
He scoffed every single drop!...

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There was a young man from Nantucket,
Whose logic for life was to duck it. 
Scoffed “ignorance is bliss”
Till the fates took a piss,
Now life’s gone to hell in a bucket. 

February 6, 2023...

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MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Tiramisu in a pot 
I’m a greedy mare I’ve just scoffed the lot
Don’t worry about me putting on weight
Because I’m quite petite  - a UK size eight

Jan Allison
6th August 2014...

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There once was an old man from Japan
Who scoffed at gender pronoun confusion
  He said, Listen you young 'uns
  If you really want to have fun
    Pronounce my name fast --
          I-you-he-she...

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Scrumdiddlyumptious is a term that takes me back
To a simpler time, to an earlier version of Jack
Who believed in Santa Claus
At non-believers, I scoffed
It made me feel warm as a scrumdiddlyumptiousiac...

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Out of the gates, the others raced
She did not, preferring to trot
The others scoffed, they were cruel
Not put off, she used it as fuel
For the others, it was now or never
For her, it was how, and forever...

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 441 

There are 441 calories
in 4 1/2 medium roasted broiled
or baked chicken wings

In an all-you-can-eat competition
the winning contestant
scoffed 441 wings
in half an hour 

Congrats?
Absolutely sickening!

...

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the frigid air snaked across

     my skin and left it tingling
  
       with frostiness

the windchill scoffed at me

    with it's hautiness as the air

swirled around me

  I seek shelter and refuge

    from the intensely

 frigid elements...

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She swirled her gases in the prettiest way
Appearing smoky and smoggy, like a ball of ice
The sky lit up at as it watched her go,
Vibrant robe trailing in a flourish of stars
No one made an exit like Luna,
I taught her that whispered an entity unseen
I scoffed at Zeus’s audacity...

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the chalice of need contains no poison ~ but might cause a herpes lip

scoffed the leper to the serpent ~ who was trying to sponge out a sip

the snake dissed the quip quietly ~ his tongue had already lost its tip 

but was heard under his breath saying ~ how’d i end up in such a kip...

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Some say Vladimir Putin made it rain
Yet others scoffed: "The man is but a fool."

The climate changers thought he'd gone insane
The very folks who shout, "The Earth must cool!"
Who teach their theories to your kids at school

Their remedy's to raise the carbon tax
~ Boost government control up to the max...

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What makes this faerie special? 
She is naked.
The gargoyle rolled his eyes.
They are all naked under their clothes, he said.
True enough.

She is pretty.
He scoffed.
She is kind and generous.
He kept waving his hand, encouraging her to tell him more.
An expert at not having to hold up his end of a conversation....

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Cookie can cook recipes from a book,
She can rustle up meals in a flash.
She wears a chef’s hat even though she’s a cat
And she works in a restaurant for cash.
Once Chef Cookie cooked all the fish I had hooked
While out fishing with Oli one day.
She fried them in batter, served them up on a platter
And we scoffed them all up right away....

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.
 
   There went she
       blue eyes
 sashaying with her
       sassy self
    in her scanty
         sateen
         sheath

      Scandalous
the scandalmongors
         scoffed
           as I

  And off I scurried
 searching for paper
         and pen
to scribe mine script
  of her succulence

         Skoal

    I’d take a sip...

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What is a Poet?

A singer of songs, a caller of warnings;
A crier of tears, a laugher, a weeper.
Lover of life; of nature, of God;
One set apart; scoffed at and shunned.
Sufferer of numberless maladies.
A poet spreads his soul;
Rampant over white paper;

To be wondered at and mocked.
To incite passion, tears, and smiles.

To expound truth and create beauty....

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A dark cloud swept o’er me today,
and visited but couldn’t stay

It tried to blow my voice away,
but stronger winds then had their say

Poisoning rains lay overhead,
whose black veil lifts in mornings glow

Their invocation scoffed again
—by everything Mariah knows

(University Of Pennsylvania Hospital: April, 2020)
‘Thank You Drs. Torp, Thaler & Weinstein’...

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What a mess 
I must confess
I made of my own life
Immaturity can be 
A dull and painful knife
Advice was given readily
Wisdom came like tides
Warned of dangers far and near
That trap young hearts like mine
Stubborn as a mule can be
I scoffed and bucked 
So foolishly
Looking back 
I made a fuss
Over things now 
Old like dust
If I'd listened 
If I heard 
Words of love
I thought absurd...

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. for public domain

I scoffed at hearts that writhed with pain,
that fell from broken promises,
for I had naught to do with Love,
it's folly or its gain,

but now I find that not to love
is not to live at all.
The stones on our paths outlast us all,
but I dread to exist that long.

I choose to risk feeling pain
than to feel no pain at all.
Jupiter is a very great orb,
but in living, very small....

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 444 

 
There are 441 calories 
in 4 1/2 medium roasted broiled 
or baked chicken wings 

In an all-you-can-eat competition
the winning contestant scoffed 
444 wings in half an hour 

Congrats? 
Absolutely sickening!




ERRATA: http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/fifteenth_poem_637799
SOURCE: http://www.nprberlin.de/post/how-many-chicken-wings-can-you-eat-30-minutes...

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Crow had been wanting to get out her umbrella someday.
Today was the day, for the rain came hard from far away.
She was loving her umbrella with red apples so pretty.
She stopped by a bus stop to say something witty.

Commuters got on and commuters got off.
She stood at that stop, while some of them scoffed.
She wanted them to notice her fuchsia boots too.
No one gave her a compliment, so after a bit, she flew....

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Follow your heart the old woman said.
I gave her a smirk. Why wasn’t she dead?
This is a cliché’ that never works with a person like me.
I don’t know my heart; she is as smothered as she can be.

When I was a child feelings were to be scoffed.
If you showed my mom tears, she laughed until she coughed.
She made fun of me, and she made me feel small.
Sharing my feelings or following my heart would take away my all....

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Happiness on a stick
Bought at the Iowa State Fair
for eight dollars.
All of her money.
But well worth it.

Eight dollars for happiness.
Ridiculous! Scoffed her Daddy.
A total waste of your money, her mother told her.
No one cares about junk like that.
But she did.

A bargain, her grandmother told her.
Only eight dollars?
Let’s go.
She took her back to the fair,
And they both bought another one.
Best day ever....

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I saw you
tip toe through the change
Unflatteringly and seamlessly
You turned from Summer to August
The forebode was bothered
I was sleeveless until you found me
That  Tempest wind
with its own perilous sermonizing

The dull fruits  were harbingers
from another's basket
Clumps of tenderized grass
ebbing in its lost impress
You scoffed at me
whilst I unwelcomed you
Ill affording me
in the ruffled cross hairs
of spite...

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