Short Sardine Poems

Sardine ,anchovy on toast
a chilli pickle
a marinated mallard
prune & butter tart
with ice cream
lemonade
Dream!...

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Malfatti di bietola (Chard)
Suppa con sarde  (Sardine)
Polio con olive nere (Chicken)
Bariotti beans
Ricciarelli   (Biscuits)
Lambrusco 
Si ?...

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Sexy Sardine:
Dishy
Fishy

Charming Swordfish
Darlin'
Marlin

Alaskan poacher gets mauled by a:
Polar's
Molars

After sex, bears often share a:
Yogi
Stogie

Snake Charmer:
Viper
Piper

Sheep Predator:
Mutton
Glutton...

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Looking for your twinkling eyes,
I found instead a huge surprise - 
eyes like olive pits 

A fishy smile beneath those eyes,
grey grimace that you can’t disguise-
sardine on a Ritz!

(just Andrea and i playing around with that tail-
rhyme form I am first stanza; She is second.)...

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Looking for your twinkling eyes,
I found instead a huge surprise - 
eyes like olive pits 

A fishy smile beneath those eyes,
grey grimace that you can’t disguise-
sardine on a Ritz!

(just Susan and i playing around with that tail-
rhyme form She is first stanza; I am second.)...

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People packed like sardine cans.
Lawn chairs, coolers, beer in hand.

Hot dogs, pizza, fries galore.
The crowd cheers loud, when the engines roar.

Dirt and car smoke, fills the air.
As I sit and watch from my earthen chair.

And nothing gives me quite a thrill,
Then to watch it all, atop Budweiser Hill...

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Granny sat upon the time machine
                                 With mustard sauce,salt and sardine;
                                      In the year Three Thousand,
                                         My son was her husband
                                      In the port city of Aberdeen.









12/10/2017...

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What were you thinking of mother
When you gave me that extra sardine
You know they are my favourites
Now…I am not feeling too fine

Why you looking like that mother
What you fancying to do
Please don’t pick me up
Or for sure will do a p@<>@....  Whewww

Penned 26 October 2017
Contest: write me something funny...

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Alone I sit by the hole
Using a stick as a pole
A salmon to catch
Without a scratch
It seemed a simple goal

Sunlight played a trick
Felt like there was a pick
Empty rod came out
No salmon or trout
Only a drenched wick

Alas it was time to dine
Opened sardine in brine
Enjoyed lovely fish
Without a dish
Fishing it seems went fine...

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Successful Youngin

Yuppy
Guppy

Moon Fish

Luna
Tuna

Rhymer Fish

Snapper
Rapper

Ready for Combat

Marine
Sardine

Deceased Mob Boss

Bad trout
Had clout

New Mob Boss

Mobster
Lobster

The Strange One

This cod
is odd

The Affectionate One

Marlin’
Darlin’

Fish Valentine

I like
My pike


Dinner Con

The clam -
a sham...

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Chef Bourdain  
1956-2018

Surf and turf, a sardine in tin; will travel. 
Your downward spiral 
Magnanimity that whetted our appetite 
Fans everywhere you excite. 
Consumed the exotic and 
consumed by erotic specialty dishes. 
Five mother sauces to haute cuisine 
Mouthwatering too obscene 
You've come to your exit; I hope it’s delicious!
I celebrate you, it’s all been nutritious....

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It's perfectly true, there's a blue kangaroo,
    Where an emu once flew, upside-down.
    There's even a lion, that's made of pig iron,
    While the polar bears fur's eiderdown.
    With a tiny sardine, of green plasticine,
    It's where cuckoos spring out of swiss clocks.
    Whatever it seems, they're not idle dreams,
    They're all playthings, in my little toy box.

    31/ 1/ 2018....

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People are silent in the shadow of a man,
Terrified like an old gran,
Hiding like a sardine in a can,
While eating with a bun.

I notice that venting is now a crime,
Even their gut is empty from time to time,
Still dreading to ventilate the begrime,
Who will expound in every distant tongue?

They complain yet no one enunciates,
Their marshall is a waste,
Spreading hate just to sate,
Disappointed in their fate....

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The Sardine

      (How the best laid plans
      can sometimes go wrong)


     The Sardine is an unusual fish,

     It spends all its life in a tin

     On top of a Superstore shelf

     So other fishes cannot get in.

     But their plan was not so ingenious

     As they sooner or later found out

     They left the opener on the outside

     Now the Sardines cannot climb out.


     01/16/18...

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Early morning rush,
pile's of people piling on
sardine like,jostling
"excuse me" being morning phrase
newspaper's,MP3 player's
magazine's and favorite book's
some smile's,some blank look's
must not of had cup of java yet
small talk infrequent
most want to be left alone
must of had a bad night last night
maybe they don't look forward to today

Everyday's a good day
some are just better

I like public transportation
my favorite indoor sport............

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Scuba diving, oh! what a dream
In the Gulf, amidst the Sardines
With a Florida blond
Whom I've grown to be fond
It's dark, is it all that it seems

Our dive is going oh! so super
Boo! said the nosey big Grouper
Och! do you have to be mean
To these little Sardines
Your just a big party pooper

Told of he goes in a mood
Just like a big bully should
Hey! next time take better care
To these Sardines you did scare
It's impolite, and you've been oh! so rude...

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My brook has grown 
into an ocean. 
Pearl-spot fish 
have disappeared.
Instead,
sharks skulk around. 
They see 
my pocket,
not my heart.
They’re 
democratically undemocratic.
Poetry is inedible.
Profit is 
the sole default
in their thought-mechanism.

Shark morphing
petrifies me.
I wake up 
from the dreamy life,
losing my serenity
in their serrated presence. 
I turn
a tiny sardine,
ready to be swallowed.


First published in The Literary Hatchet...

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