Short Groaned Poems

I puked and spent the day in bed,
'I'll booze no more,' I groaned and said.

for Susan's contest...

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He
raided
the pantry
and his larder
groaned

Frans Syder
httpa://www.diacenter.org/kos/images/franss.html...

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Despair weaving up my spine,
engorging within body, mine.
And though I twitched and groaned today,
that feeling did not go away....

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Goliath stood up straight and tall
But David knew that he would fall
Goliath was stoned
And everyone groaned
His shoelace tripped him after all!...

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Buffalo Bill

Stood in the rain and caught a chill

Was very ill and in some pain

He moaned and groaned…"This is a calamity, Jane!!"...

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In a bunker having his way
When a golf ball took his breath away
Got struck on the head
Minnie groaned and said
Mick is this what they call fore play



Penned April 5 2013...

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In school, Maxwell never paid attention
Got punished with maximum detention --
  They seized his smartphone
  Maxwell moaned and groaned --
But, Wow! ~ Did it improve his retention!...

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A robot named Optimus Prime, 
Tried to parallel park, in due time. 
He shifted and groaned, 
His gears loudly moaned, 
"These humans," he sighed, "have a crime!"

©bfa031625

...

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Darling, my love for you will never die--
    Just then, two shots rang out
      She heard him cry

  O! she groaned. Please don't go yet
    He smiled, then went ~ but won the bet...

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Tony Stark, with his suit shiny bright, 
Tried to cook up a snack, late at night. 
His repulsors went wild, 
The kitchen was piled,
 "My tech," he groaned, "needs a re-write!"


©bfa031625

...

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Santa Claus was trimming his tree

when his cat shrieked like a banshee

Freaked, Santa fell from the ladder

and groaned, "I emptied my bladder."




12/20/2020
Christmas Chastushka
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich...

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There once was an off-key raccoon

Joined a feat and barked out of tune,

   Since he groaned aloud

   The pissed judges cowed

As he won to shut off this loon!



Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Jan Allison
12/26/2015...

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I got out of bed
I wore my fuzzy gown
Because I sleep naked
Walked to the door
Opened the door for them
Groaned at them
I shuffled back to my room
Closed my bedroom door
Removed my gown
Got back in bed
And continued......

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Musty
Creepy
Dark hallways
My silent room
The moans groaned louder...
Louder...
Louder...
With every tick of the clock

Frustrated
And anxious
I paced around
Impulses crept up slowly...
Slowly...
Slowly...
Until I called her up...

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Gorrup. 
Gorrowta bed
Gorridda yester's scouse
Grabbed me mornin cuppa
Gorron the bloody net
Groaned ter see that nobody
Gorroff on readin' me
Gowawn sed I
Gowin ter chair
Growlin' in me belly
Gropin' for the flicker
Gawkin' at the telly...

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Contrary Mary

There once was a boat named “Mary”
She towed many a barge as a ferry.
One day she was mad.
She groaned; she was bad.
And that's why the folks call her, "Contrary.”

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
March 7, 2010
Poetic form:  Limerick...

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      The teacher said, ‘Back in five minutes,’ before leaving the room
          His students groaned, ‘half an hour’ meant ‘soon’

      The time crawled by, the class dwindled to one
          ‘Still here?’ teacher asked ~ ‘Next class hasn’t begun’ 
...

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THE SMELL OF LOVE

In instant love with this handsome man she fell
On romantic date this she wanted to tell
He came floating in flair
Sat so close on the chair
His socks smelled fetid fish, she groaned, what the hell.

August 29, 2018...

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Around 10 A.M. it opened 
a toast and brie-encrusted laptop
to watch surfboarding ninja squirrels.

Its recliner groaned like a woman in late term.

Around six in the evening
 Its mate came home
to inquire about, ‘its day’.

“Been working on a poem,” it said....

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TODDLER’S TEATIME

Buttered bread spread with juicy jam
Brings back memories of toddler’s teas,
Little lives so simple then,
When we were still young and fancy free.
Tried telling today’s tots;
Gave plum preserve on fresh baked bread.
Grandkids groaned. Want McDonalds Mac!...

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It was a love or hate her ,state of affairs!
Other's praised her works,but some groaned 
 over her controversial policies!
As it was,the funeral inspired many scoffers,
if few sympathetic mourners!
But,where I come from we do not despise the dead!
Whether they led a good or bad life story!

chipepo lwele...

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Untitled (2008)

	In the depth of night I crept
	and slowly witnessed a being glowing
	bilious to ponder 
			       and sat
	sat down on the bed
		of which i had crawled out of already
	i looked up
	bright - ah - bright
	crackling in my heart
	and it groaned
			      and waved
	i waved
	all in the depth of night...

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She pumped the air and whooped,
'The holidays are through!'
She danced a jig, she spun,
and did a moonie too.
The grinning mother yelled,
'They're back to school again!'
But then her laughter died,
she groaned in awful pain
and mopped her furrowed brow,
for she's a teacher now...

written 20th August for Francine's Back to School contest...

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At first sight in love with this man she fell,
on the first date she’d be out of her shell. 
He came floating with a rose,
sat beside her very close. 
Fish smell of his socks struck, she groaned, ‘it’s hell’.

_______________

November 5, 2022
Syllable count : 10/10/7/7/10 (HMS)
Contest : A Funny Limerick-Make Me Laugh
Sponsored by : Tania Kitchin...

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… it pours.

The orange horizon embraced the sun tenderly 
The wind groaned in disgust
Dashing into the swaying forest to put-up for the night
Puffing clouds chased each other up the sky
Screaming and flashing cruel rapiers
Piercing the sky heartlessly in their rant
All of a sudden
The sky wept
Tears of anger,
Vented for ages
And nothing was the same again that has been
created....

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