Short Gator Poems

cottonmouth slithers
'gator eyes unwary prey
an untimely death

written January 3, 2022...

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Giant gator grabbing
Convulsing, chunks crashing
twisting, twirling, thrashing
muskrat mammal munched....

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The gator swallowed a goat
Then suddenly got choke
Horns stuck in his mouth
So, he tried to turn south
Flipped over just like a tub-boat...

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tongue laps at water
sees only his reflection
gator enjoys lunch



wrote over an old Haiku
Written June 29 for Shadow's Haiku contest....

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We had an apartment in Florida
Where a woman just down the corrida
Kept a pet gator
Which unfortunately ate her
Can you imagine anything horrida ?...

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In the zoo behold the gator
Seems evil just like Darth Vader
Grinds its food into bits
Accounts for lots of animals fits!
But at least it's not a hater!...

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Red panda was lazier than his friend the sloth
Just leave me alone, he said to Goth
If I want to raise my head I will later
But this second I want to lie like a gator...

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Red panda was lazier than his friend the sloth
Just leave me alone, he said to Goth
If I want to raise my head I will later
But this second I want to lie like a gator...

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Old  granite face enjoyed  job in  sewer
He was king of the under ground brewer
Everyday he'd hide away
With the hot lines he did play
Then old bleached gator scared him away...

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A ball of orange
A pumpkin ball
Fat and round
stripes that drawl

Orange and bright
White with glow
Stem on top
Bent and frow

Skin that's speckled
Flat and cratered
Glossy, shiny
Like a gator...

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Reptilian creatures defy grace
Suzanne has eighty visiting her place
     She could not leave her home
     There was no room to roam
Confined – until a gator cleared space



*Entry for Nate’s Limerick contest...

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Said a handsome New Orleans waiter,
"Sir, can I recommend some freshly caught gator?"
I said, "Are you for real?
Didn’t you hear about that poor woman Lucille?"
"But Sir, what if I can assure you ~ this ain't the gator that ate her?"...

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Alligators bellowing chorous dance.
Eerie freshwater gator holes.
Intense jaws, killer lizard-like.
Marshes nest offspring, population quickly rebounds.
Southeastern territorial. 
Underwater vegitation. Wetlands xylem.
young zoologist....

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Lulled by the lazy lagoon
Memories carved at the beach
Fated familial platoon
Lulled by the lazy lagoon
     Gator snatched the toddler of June
     Dad could not transcend the breach
Lulled by the lazy lagoon
Memories carved at the beach/center>...

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Circle left, hang on tight
Don't get caught in an alligator bite

Allemande left, what you want to do
Is turn that alligator into stew

Do-si-do, listen to the band
Alligator shoes look mighty grand

Roll away to a half sashay
If you're a gator, forget what I say...

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Pass the word 
About the Golden Girl 
Devine at 99
Perception being really kind
From game show 
To Mr. Grant you know 
There was moore 
TV News room was the floor  
We also love the gator 
Screamed see yah later 
Happy B-day Betty White 
Everything sure is right...

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the dumbest sports model
an open bottle and an NFL player
especially if they used to be a gator
come on steve spurrier
raise better babies
in my day they
behaved
thats what he would say?no way
cave urban myer
and say you paid marc richt
before i make it stick
knife point style...

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Olive glitter skin sparkles below Carolina rays,
Mud Leather carefully placed as evening attire,
Mr.Gator whips his jeweled tail frantically,
Beckoning his lover to immerge.
No response.
Heartbroken, he crawls silently towards another pond.
Mating season minus a mate is not much fun!...

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Whenever I visit the Louisiana bayou,
gator hunters fight and argue to have me on their crew.
I only bait their lines, I don't hunt the alligator.
All of the locals refer to me as The Master Baiter.
*
I don't like that reference actually.
I wish they'd come up with another nick name for me.
*...

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There was a local lad named one-armed Joe

     Who was an alligator wrestling pro

          He misjudged the 'gator's snap

               Resulting in this mishap

                    He dined on 'gator tail as quid pro quo

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

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The last time someone dropped into our pool,

it broke our concentration for crock school.

I didn’t join the food frenzy,

prefer Scots called Mackenzie.

So take this one mates, silk chutes bind my stool!


* For the “To Die for Limerick” contest. Hard to tell crock or gator from this magnification....

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there might be a gator at Sunday’s table.
Don’t act surprised, if you are able.
Why does Shelly always cross-species date?
She wants to prove that she does not hate.
Why do we have to be polite to them?
They are her dates, her beaus, her men.
But a gator? I protesed. Grandma, no!
She would not budge, so I did not go....

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there might be a gator at Sunday’s table.
Don’t act surprised, if you are able.
Why does Shelly always cross-species date?
She wants to prove that she does not hate.

Why do we have to be polite to them?
They are her dates, her beaus, her men.
But a gator? I protested.  Grandma, no!
She would not budge, so I did not go....

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A Florida man on a bend, he’s
croc’d, but he’s certainly trendy:
drove through, tossed a gator,
yelled out, “See you later!”
She said, “Sir, this is a Wendy’s!”


----------

Actual headline: "Florida Man Charged with Assault with a Deadly Weapon After Throwing Alligator Through Wendy's Drive-Thru Window"...

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Sweet Caren’s an ace masticator
and opens her mouth like a gator
Breakfast dinner and tea
She will chew thoroughly
Her husband just acts as her waiter!

Inspired by this poem written by Caren Krutsinger
www.poetrysoup.com/poem/i_masticate_a_lot_1050599

Posted with full permission of Caren

8/11/18...

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